Well that recovery was short lived. Back to bed all day fudding himself with the stories he has dredged from online hairsites. It is all true he screams as another FUD attack hits his brain.
He has FUD occurring in the brain, fear, uncertainty and doubt, so what context can he find to give it life and become a symptom for his BDD. What is the context for the FUD? The screaming he is now doing is context for FUD. What context can he find to explain the fear in his brain? He tells me it is his story. The Dute story. He has connected to it and he instantly becomes terrified. So he has connected FUD to the story. I ask him what the story is? He replies it is his favorite.
This is his story that he has one hundred percent faith in even though no one else really does. So he is fearful due to a couple of online posters who scam for a website. This website I can't even post on because they don't want anyone honest on there. They just want to sell drugs and other products by insighting fear in anyone who browses out of concern over hairloss.
So why does my son think he knows more than all of us....In his mind, his stories are true and are not symptoms of BDD. So I ask what are his symptoms of BDD? He replies that touching the defect is his only symptom.
I ask if he thinks FUD in the brain is not a symptom of BDD? But he tells me that he knows it is a symptom of BDD.
I again try to explain that he is needing to connect and make sense of the FUD. So his storytelling is his brains attempt to reason what the FUD is about. Otherwise he wouldn't have a subject to fear. So his experience of life must conceptualize what FUD must be connecting to in order to give it meaning. At the moment he is connecting to some story online and believes this is the story that is now making him bedbound with terror. Not because this story now has anymore potency than when he first read it. So the potency factor of this story is not evident to anyone else. it was never banned from being posted. It was never a fear story but only an opinion. It was never an alert in the newspapers but my son alone gave it so much importance. But it only has importance in his brain because he attached it to his BDD FUD.
Our conversation went something like this..." Here now in this room where is the fear? There isn't any. You are making it up because you are connecting something you read long ago to FUD. The FUD is now being produced in your brain. Something you read long ago you are connecting to FUD.So you have to remember when you read it and disconnect from it and try to stop connecting it to the FUD of NOW. So you need to make an effort to mindfully relax and not let FUD connect to anything. You can feel the fear but not connect to something you did long ago. If you now really remember the first read of the story you might have thought maybe that is true, maybe I am doing something wrong and now I am reliving that by connecting the recall to FUD. I have such a safe life that I almost have nothing to fear so I have to go back in the past to dredge up something to fear. So I have this story from an online post from an anonymous poster, who possibly might have gone to a "hair doctor" but probably not and is most likely selling drugs because the whole site is bogus. But I will overlook all that because I need to assign FUD to something. To get relief from FUD I need to assign it to something and that is my symptom of BDD. Having FUD and assigning it to something that made me fear in the past.
I hope some of you get this because really this is what BDD is doing to all of you in some way. The fear needs context and you supply it with recall of something that was never diffused from the past. Imagination and exaggeration take over to catastrophize the experience and make it retell worthy for the level of FUD you now experience. Some of you retell the same thing over and over without ever acknowledging what you are doing. The fear needs to be expressed to get relief from it but in so doing it gains strength. So insidious. The fear is being created all inside you in the NOW moment.
Hint for the day: Think of someone else and do something nice for them. Marg