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margharris
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Body dysmorphia: Not real just what you fear

Permanent Linkby margharris on Sun Apr 05, 2015 10:30 pm

Well the success with just calling the thoughts questions in disguise was short lived. The very next day the thoughts rebounded with even more intensity. The thoughts left him screaming for relief. He is back believing they must be true. He read it online from dermatologists. If you go from Dute to Fin you get loss. If I finally convince him he has only made this up to fit his need for " knowing the answer to why?" he calms down. But that isnt the end of it. He is soon onto another story. " Upregulation of receptors, Fin will never work for me, the loss is permanent." The catastrophic outlook takes over. I know it is not debatable. It is just another hypothesis of worst case scenario.

But all this storytelling allows no one to have time to mention the elephant in the room. Where is his wellness plan? Where is his life? The genius mind has been so distracted by all the fracas that he doesn't seem to figure, life needs some work. Will he get up to function today? Probably not.
Does he feel that life is too difficult and this is his way out. The known pain of familiarity might just feel safe.

Is it a way to process 'inadequate' without realizing it?
From a carer perspective, the illness is not being processed as something to remove from life but something that is safe and protective. My son is not willing to give it away. He fights me to remain believing in his storytelling. So does BDD offer a control over life that real life doesn't offer? He is doing a good job of remaining in his illness and controlling me as well. There are very few times in the whole day that anything like cooperation is achieved. Even taking a shower only works with a bribe. Is this his passive aggressive tendencies or is mental illness in general something that requires a willingness and readiness to move towards recovery only when some inner transformation has occurred. The adult needs to be ready and willing to take up the reigns of an adult life.
He is in disorganized loops of fear at the moment. He is now asking for Valium. This is as bad as it gets I suppose so if you are feeling like you have this disorder get help when you still have the ability to do therapy. I tell him that his thought attacks are not real but just what he fears.
He replies and mentions his Dute to Fin is true though. And in all this, he has me back in his room getting him drinks of water, meds and reassuring him again. Is this a control issue? I think it is but that maybe just one aspect of it.
If he is in control, everything will work in his world and he will know all the answers. If he knows then he will not have that alarm going off in his brain. Marg

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