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margharris
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Awakening through BDD
   Wed Dec 12, 2018 9:20 pm

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Body dysmorphia: Negative management of thought attacks

Permanent Linkby margharris on Wed Apr 01, 2015 3:45 am

My son at some level does recognize BDD as a thought disorder. The fear the thoughts invite sends him into shock. This is the hell of an OCD visit to the brain. It always sends thoughts that are linked to what we fear the most. I suppose that knowledge might help in recognizing the BDD/OCD thought circuit from a normal thought. Normal thoughts don't carry the punch of fear every time. We can diffuse a normal thought and reason it away. That is not the case with a BDD/OCD thought. The thoughts keep coming making it really difficult for us to focus on anything else. As we know this is how any alarm system works. It makes a very loud noise to make us acknowledge something is wrong so we can take a look. But when this happens in your own brain it is very hard to deal with. You don't know the code to turn it off. So your alarm system can be firing on and off all day sending you into panics. You don't realize your thought system is faulty and firing thoughts that are wrong. You can remain convinced that the content of the thought must be important for years. You have linked alarm with something important to find. So you find the fault. It is really hard to give up on this perspective. It might take a leap of faith to acknowledge that your brain could be getting it wrong. The alarm system is stuffed.
My son processes his thoughts into stories that serve to vent his concerns. At the moment he has a Dute to Fin story that now links to increased androgenicity and increased DHT receptors. All it took was a bit of online browsing and his mind was awash with the hypothesis that he at last knew why he lost hair. But this certainty was short lived. Moments later he was asking whether the story was true. And that is the line drawn between facts and stories. If it was a verifiable fact, he wouldn't be asking. I have tried to dismiss his attempts to find a doctor who will confirm this because in reality no one knows any of this as a certainty. That is what he searches for..certain answers.
If he ever found a certain answer, he would probably start doubting it anyway. That is the nature of BDD and OCD. There is always an over riding doubt that creates a fear. The not knowing is processed as a reason for alarm. It is a catastrophe. The worst is going to happen and so the person with the illness responds as though it did happen. It is all driven by thoughts.
My son is into managing his thought attack negatively. He just tries to reduce them by bombing with meds, or going to bed to remain trance like, arms under the blankets to stop touching. He is reducing his life back to corpse like nothingness. In this state he doesn't hear the thoughts as much. If he calls out in alarm, I know he has just got another intrusive thought attack. Even in bed he cant turn off his brain. He is just scared. More thoughts and stories flood in. It is not easy to stay with him. Marg

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