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margharris
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Awakening through BDD
   Wed Dec 12, 2018 9:20 pm

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Body dysmorphia: It makes you unsafe.

Permanent Linkby margharris on Sun Jun 14, 2015 11:44 pm

Body dysmorphic: Unsafe in your own skin.
I see my son so tormented by his own reasoning that something is wrong and needs to be fixed. His hand constantly touches somewhere on his body to feel his own hair.
Going on a date seems to aggravate the whole thing. Talking about BDD or me even posting on the forum can take his thinking back to his concern. He then starts to ask for reassurance. He feels unsafe.
There seems to be no ability to resist this thinking once it has started. As his recovery continues he is able to occupy himself with more normal pursuits around the computer. He has downloaded stuff, reconnected with friends on Facebook and rekindled his interest in music. Plaid is now his recent favourite. This, his real life, needs to be his safe haven.
Doing urges is not the safe option to relieve his inner distressing thoughts. Going to the mirror or getting the hat is not safe. He has to constantly remind himself not of how much relief he can get from“ doing a check” but what he becomes when he needs to check.
It is the same for all his safety, rescue, avoidance maneuvers. He can give in to the urge to drink alcohol but he can’t escape what he becomes when he is drunk. He can use bed as a rescue but creating a den of doom is no life. He can avoid social contact but he only becomes more depressed.
So the safety, avoidance urges are only instant gratification. What he becomes after giving in, he never really likes. He never likes himself more after he has cut his hair off. So he has to learn to control the urges and think long term of what he wants to become. That goal is a long term integration with himself and his own destiny. Then he will be able to manage life better. It will still be tough at times but he will know giving into a urge will not ever lead to safety. At best it will only be temporary. He doesn’t want to become someone who always needs to check. He doesn’t like that person who thinks looks are so important or at least his are. He doesn't want to fear what he sees.

The alcoholism must be handled the same way. Yet another compulsion. But what does he become when drunk? I think he needs to write that story out and keep it on him so he doesn’t forget. But will he see it as important to do? Saving himself from ever drinking again and what the consequences can look like if he doesn’t take this seriously….
So what do you become when you do urges????? Down the road to regret.

Prozac 60mg is his current dose. I read up on the Katherine Phillips research. Her dosages for Prozac working were 67mg +or- 24mg as an average with results appearing in 8 to 12 weeks. So we are sitting on that now.
I tried to find her talk from the recent conference but wasn’t able to find it there yet. Wish us all well. Marg

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