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Author:  margharris [ Tue Jun 23, 2015 10:57 pm ]
Blog Subject:  Body dysmorphia: First AA meeting

Well he went to his first AA meeting. That is actually a big step. About twelve people, all of whom he described as similar to himself meet at the local church at 7.30 in the evening. They were not the street vagabond types but intellectuals, mostly well spoken. They all told their story as he was a newbie. It was not religious. They only repeated the Serenity prayer at the end of the meeting. He tells me he needs to go to these meetings each week. He has crashed today. Bed rescue. Hopefully this is not just a prequel to going out tonight to see the new girlfriend.
His case worker also came yesterday. She recognized he needed more support so will come next week again. She was able to see the scrap along his nose and the skin off his chest from the fall over the fence. She, along with the police the night before have tried to ram it home to him that this is serious and he cant dismiss it. He is an alcoholic and needs to address it. This is very much a symptom of BDD too.
He was trying to self medicate the thoughts away. It might work at some level like a miracle pill but you can't get the genie back in the bottle. It becomes an vile evil devil. You can't remember what you did or what conversation you had. You can't recall what you are to do today. It is an anaesthetic for your pain while insidiously making sure you get even more. You went through the door to the darkside.
What is the excuse today. Lie, just another lie. Suspend judgement about what you are doing. Who you are deceiving? Who is the victim?
Hopefully this AA works and he does start his own journey on a road of recovery with the passion and mindset to overcome this demon.
Marg

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