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margharris
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Body dysmorphia: Another crash

Permanent Linkby margharris on Tue Jun 23, 2015 12:54 am

Well he came home after a day and a half of keeping up the pretense that all was well. He crashed spectacularly. Decided he needed the booze. Supposedly drank in the back bedroom. I smelt it later in the day. I took his car to his sisters so he wouldn't drink drive. He in the meantime decided a night walk to the pub was appropriate because he thought I was gone for the night. He was paralytic at 10.30pm. Fell over a low fence and scraped his face. I called the cops this time as I don't think he is taking this seriously. He has an intervention order for drinking at home already. Obviously he is doing too much and not handling the anxiety. It might be the BDD or more GAD. I just cant be taking responsibility for all of this. It has become a pattern. He crashes after a night with the new girlfriend.
There is just no problem solving. He is creating more problems as his orientation is to avoid anything that seems at all hard. Distraction is all he wants to do. Play mode keeps him in that childhood space. While I spend all my day doing the admin that keeps us all managing.
I suppose we are either a problem fixer or a creator. When you don't face your fears, they grow. You avoid and postpone and never get anything accomplished. There is nothing more completely consuming than a mental illness to fog your brain. Add alcohol and you can't even see where the problem is. They call it blind drunk.
Maybe there are three types of people. Those you can rely on to help and be there to fix and listen. Those who tell you they are too busy and move away from you and those who can even hurt you through criticism when you feel down. They can blame you for your mental illness making you feel worse still. Being type one, I am starting to worry that I am enabling but I don't like the sound of those other options. My son's mental illness seems to have trapped him in teenager mode, acting on impulse without any sound judgement.
I am so tired and feel gutted. I thought we had turned a corner but the high was only the brow of the hill on the road that hid the steep descent down. He has to be able to solve life problems well to be well. Two weeks from cutting as he tells it. First day sober again. Marg

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