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margharris
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Body dysmorphia. The storytelling, why? loop.

Permanent Linkby margharris on Mon Mar 23, 2015 10:13 pm

The urge reduction and restriction had been working well to limit the time and effect of compulsions. The initial list I made has served well to draw attention to all the components in my son's illness. Storytelling and touching might have been on that list.They are proving the most difficult to shift and down regulate. He still cringes at the thought of tying his hand to some clothing. A barbaric restraint..Oh my good... But you do do it to dogs and babies to prevent scratching.
But he is in the illness still and trying to defend it.
He had a break out on browsing online for fixes. He wanted to explore the why? of hairloss some more. Millions of hours ..not enough. He came completely unstuck. He found the Indian female doctor who had written studies on Dutasteride for hairloss was a fake. She had been convicted of forging her own credentials. He believes he took the drug on her advice. This is most likely another story. The web is chock full of scam websites acting like forums to peddle advice to the anxious ridden hairloss worried. It is a billion dollar industry. He was gullible to the stronger better line of thinking. No care about sterility when you are in your twenties. This storytelling in the search for the certain answer must be at the hub of all OCD/BDDs. You are just trying to stop the doubt from returning. If you really know the why? of it...then the reasoning is that the wheel of intrusive thoughts will stop.
But it is never like that. The stories are strongly defended as though the ego in creating them, will completely fall apart, if it acknowledges the thoughts are from the imagination.
So the story that you get complete loss of hair moving from Dute to Fin goes on. Some one said it..No everyone says it. It must be true,is it true? Just tell me, you have never told me. Write it out so I know. See you can't, you don't know. Did you ask my brother? What did he say? But can that be true? How would he know it doesn't? People say it does, I have read it loads of times.

Yes, you learn never to open the debate with a storyteller. There is no resolution.The defence of it against all logic is too strong. I just had to state that it was part of his illness and not debatable in the end. I wrote out a guideline for dealing with the stories. They are going to come. They are part of your BDD. They are your illness. They cant be debated.
It is a loser battle to try and bring any logic into the OCD cycle. The thoughts can only be deleted.
It is like the amygdala fires an alarm and immediately a drop down menu of stories opens as a reflex. All the stories are in grey but a click on with your cursor opens them up and a myriad of pop up windows explodes in your brain. Why?why?why? If I only know why? it will stop.
But it just keeps going in a loop. The wording of the questions can be exactly the same each and every time. It all can run on autopilot, logic went MIA or was paralyzed by the first shot in the battle for the brain.
I have tried many times on the forum to lock heads in a battle of storytelling versus logic. I never did win. The stories are tightly held and defended by the ego with the full strength of will. They are right and if right, then not ill at all. The distress and limited life, perfectly normal.
The stories provide the context for the fear and unknowing. Without them, the illness has no basis.
Fragmentation of the ego. The energy has to go somewhere. It needs to enter the living body to give vitality to the doer. Mindful action that can be of value to life. Marg

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