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margharris
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Body dysmophia: Intrusive thoughts. It doesnt stop

Permanent Linkby margharris on Sat Mar 21, 2015 9:28 pm

As my son's reliance on compulsions to ease the anxiety has reduced there has been a spike in intrusive thoughts. It is all day. 80% are still on hair loss, 10% on body hairiness and 10% on his wife. I asked him for a breakdown of how his thoughts were going. By talking about them, I reasoned he might be actually distancing himself from them. But there is a fine line to triggering and yet again I crossed it.
After triggering a panic, he goes to bed and puts his hands wrapped in the top of the blanket to stop touching. With this high level of emotion present it seems hard to get going with anything like mindfulness. He doesn't understand what to do as he doesn't own a chore and is not invested in helping out. Trying a hobby seems a way off and reading anything than news grabs or celeb updates doesn't hold his interest for long. Basketball watching serves to create that blank trance like state that is thought absent. Alcohol does the same thing.
My friend likened these thoughts to a runaway wheel. I like the analogy. They just keep coming and are so difficult to find the brake for how to stop them. Theory says you should welcome them and just divorce the feelings from them. Separating thoughts from feelings just isn't easy when the feelings create panic.
I tried tapping yesterday. I can see it would work for those who were well into their own healing and just wanted to release the regret of past hurts through forgiveness. It seems a very calming, caring thing to do for yourself. Even the act of writing out your own chant to tap on is an excellent tool for letting go of the past. The problem, as I see it is that you have to be well enough to have perspective. The very nature of BDD, I liken to a lying disorder. The doubt, fear and catastrophizing cycle at every stage creates such emotion that reasoning fails. The problems are created through that timid soul finding an outlet in imagination. The solution lies in a transformation rather than working logically with the past to find the blame and wounds. Don't get me wrong, there are blame and wounds but they are not the cause of my son's BDD. He took the blame and gave himself more wounds than would have ever been done to him. Why is his timid soul feeling so broken and not whole?
Marg

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