that felt pretty good, what i got out yesterday. feeling much better today. still sorta disassociative and walled up. i realized that i have nobody to talk to, just have that feeling that i wish there was 1 person in my life that i could say anything to, EVERYTHING. but there isnt, and i fear, at this stage of the game, there never will be.

i just wanna yell my head off. im so tired of being alone through this journey. life has become as much a curse as it has a blessing. im tired of having no one to talk to. everyone is only able to get a little part of me. im tired of remembering which mask to wear for which person or group i am with. i am tired of everyone being so wrapped up in themselves, nobody listens, nobody hears, nobody gives a ###$! everyone says they care, until you try to talk to them, and for ###$ sake STOP trying to relate, with your fake " i know what youre feeling" #######4... you dont, you cant, you are incapable of even scratching the surface of understanding anything or anyone like me.