| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/index/index_b-2722.html |
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| Author: | kadssdak [ Thu May 17, 2012 11:10 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | slipping through the cracks |
Lately things have been quite trying on me my T ditched me for not progressing as fast a she wanted so i was aparently i was being uncooperative i had to explain to her that she was askibg me to undo a 15 years on surpressed emotion anger and resentment on comand on a post i made yesterday i likend it to trying to unlock an old rusted lock or trying to push a door marked pull. The bigest issue is she didnt know what i have locked away all these years and i wish i didnt. Iwas always told to stay calm not to let it show when im upset and never lash out phisically or verbally so i didnt i held it all in and kept it to myself all through my teens in school taking every insult every beating and never saying a word my mother eventually move my schooling rather than confrount the school and even now at 24 i still stay quiet and take it, i stil dont show my emotions to the outside world only these posts really show any of that. As dramatic as it sounds im sick of wareing a mask hiding how i really feel but its so deeply engrained i dont really renember how not to hide it. |
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