God. I just want to savor that Subject Heading.
2 full months behind me and I'm IN my 3rd month. It's something I just never really believed could be. I know it doesn't sound like much, but I'm talking COMPLETELY gambling free. Not even a a scratch & win. Not even a lotto 649. I'm a bonafide non-gambling fool. Of course, the 'fool' part is much longer than 2 months, but I'm looking on the positive.
It's a Milestone day today so I'm going to be careful, but I'm feeling pretty good. Feeling pretty damned good.
I don't really have a lot to say in this blog but I just wanted to celebrate a date that, to be honest, I wasn't sure would ever happen. AND IT DID! WOOOOT!
I don't have any secret wisdom to share. No game changer trick that worked. Just incredibly good fortune at picking a time to quit that worked out really well. And finding determination to struggle when I needed to and also celebrate when I needed to, too (God knows I needed THAT at times).
Will I succeed in the long term? God, I hope so. That's the plan and I'm not looking for the journey to be 'over' quick or stress-free. It's enough to know that it will be easier and easier, even with the occasional urge. I haven't had one for a few days, so I'm pretty sure I"m overdue, but you know what? They're survivable and growing farther and farther apart. I'm not going to fool myself that I'm 'fixed', I never will be. But I AM going to pronounce myself out of the woods and on the path.
Positive thinking is great during the easy times and strengthens me for the harder times. I don't complain about or fear them anymore. I know that with a little work, I get past them. And seriously, that's enough. After everything that gambling has put me through, that's MORE than enough.
Today, in my 3rd month of freedom, I will not gamble. Never again.
