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- January 2024
Time to give up on something
   Sat Jan 13, 2024 9:40 am

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Permanent Linkby floatingtree on Mon Oct 08, 2012 5:45 pm

So it seems I have two options:

(1) Just muddle through my life. I'll get nowhere and may well end up in dire straits, but I'll be relatively sane in the meantime.

(2) Try and fix things. This inevitably leads to despair and rage.

I had an insight into (2) earlier. The reason I lose my sanity when I try and change my life is because it brings up so many bad memories. Stirring up past failures, other people's judgements (real or imagined), the fear of making the same mistake again, losing all my money etc.

It's a bit like moving house - you're disturbing all these possessions, uprooting bits of your life. I remember being highly strung when I moved house years ago. I read an interesting article somewhere, explaining the psychology behind the stress of moving house. I've got the feeling that anyone reading this will be wondering what the hell I'm on about!

I've been having a lot of thoughts about... how to put it.... dumping my friends! Particularly the one guy I mentioned in an earlier post. There's definitely a distance growing between us. It's funny how that can happen. With a couple of girlfriends it was the same. I'd be thinking, I wish I had my freedom, I don't want to be in a relationship right now. Then very soon afterwards, I'd be dumped! Haha. I'm a sceptical kind of guy but maybe we can sense when we're not wanted, even over large distances.

I've been reading a book about a guy who travelled across the world without getting into a plane. Man, I'd love to do that right now!

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