My first entry in a few years. I've decided it's time to completely give up on trying to get my full driver's licence. A lot of people won't understand that sentence because of different rules in different countries. Most people might say "don't give up", but trust me, if you could see what the nerves and stress of that stupid thing does to me, you'd be more likely to agree with my plan.

Now the whole thing is to ACCEPT this decision, even though it can be incredibly depressing to not have a licence. But it's not as if I have a choice really, I literally cannot handle the stress of it all. No one's gonna understand this anyway lol, story of my life. Time to focus on other things. Maybe if I eventually get rich enough I could pay someone to drive me places.

Not too sure why I'm bothering with this post.

"Talk to someone". That's the cure for all mental problems apparently. In reality I've found it to be just about the worst thing you can do. And the worst thing is when people put pressure on you to talk but then they don't understand a word you're saying. As if that wasn't bad enough they judge you, or mock you, or both. This goes for both the average Joe and the "professional".

I've been thinking recently, well I may be messed up but these "normals" are even worse, for reasons such as those outlined in the previous paragraph. But of course "abnormals" such as us are just as bad really, which you can prove for yourself if you read around the forum like I've just been doing. And I'm not singling out this forum, others are the same.

You'd think we'd have more empathy, but no, everyone is a judgemental twat. And I guess that includes me, being part of the group "everyone".

Where do my mental issues come from?

Often mental issues are blamed on genetics. They're something you inherit.

I was a very sensitive kid. I was also somewhat eccentric and stuck in my head a lot, but generally fairly content. I could become very anxious quite easily, for example I once became very afraid of a friend's father for some reason. Maybe some kid told me he had a bad temper or something. I got into a panic one day when I was supposed to be going to his house for something or other. But I quickly got over it.

Later my family moved to another country. Language wasn't a huge issue because it was another English-speaking country... or was it an issue? I had a very different accent and vocabulary, plus stubbornness! I remember another kid repeatedly saying to me that I was going to end up with the local accent because that's what happened to a friend of hers. Possibly this was a big factor in me not picking up the local accent..

I was also very disoriented by the move in general. Perhaps I have a touch of Asperger's in the sense that the different routine took a lot of getting used to.

Then loads of bad stuff happened, such as being picked on by psychopathic teachers, going to another school and having to adjust again (and not adjusting very well). My parents started fighting constantly.

I guess one of the main points I'm making here is that inheritance is a factor in mental issues, but the other factor is a world which doesn't cater enough for differences, I suppose. A certain amount of people find typical "life" stuff, as is considered normal and even good by society in general, fairly okay. Others find it horrific.

Let "different" kids be treated fairly. Don't just say "He should ask for help" or some #######4 like that, when asking for help is taboo and no one really wants to help anyway, or if they do want to help, they often do more harm than good.

Right, I had forgotten about this forum, and this short blog I made.

In the past few years I've used a couple of forums for recovering from a specific addiction. Today I was thinking it would be good to be on a similar forum but for people with mental health issues, and especially people who aren't in love with authority all the time. So yeah, I'm a bit sceptical about psychiatry, psychology, big pharma, alternative medicine... lol. Quite a lot of scepticism in general, but at the same time I am fairly open-minded. I'm able to see many points of view, generally.

Today was fairly okay. A couple of anger issues. Well, one was definitely an anger or rage issue. I was doing housework when I knocked over some water and I threw something in a brief flash of rage. I got over it quickly though.

The other event was getting an email from an email buddy. He "corrected" something I had written to him and added "HAHAHA". I quickly replied saying I'll answer the rest of your email soon but in the meantime, here's proof that I'm right, and I copied and pasted the proof. I also said "HAHAHAHA yourself". A while later he sent me a message on an app but he deleted it before I could read it. I'm not sure if I regret that reply. I think a lot of my anger issues come from suppressing my anger. When I was a kid I frequently wasn't allowed to have any anger whatsoever. And people have abused my occasional inability to express my anger. because I was taught to suppress it, even though that didn't really work anyway - did it turn anger into rage? Of course at other times I overreact. I'm not a dick when I'm angry though. I don't shout abuse at people or anything.

Anyway. Here I am again on this site. Thanks for reading and feel free to reply to my posts, as long as you're not a troll!

Apologies if it was hard to read, maybe I'll edit the post at some point.

An interesting development. I got the results of a food intolerance test. I knew I was intolerant to dairy, but wait, there's more! Several types of nuts, eggs, gluten and yeast are out too. So that means most grains, oh and most alcoholic drinks, apart from spirits.

It's kind of shocking but also potentially exciting. If I can just avoid these foods and quickly feel a whole lot better, then brilliant!

I've been avoiding the bad stuff since I got the news, but it's too early to tell yet. It'll take at least a few days or maybe weeks. I'm probably going to lose weight on this diet even though I don't need to.

Let's see what happens..