Our partner

To Be Human;
Kit. 19. Male. Ohioan. I'm a college student majoring in humanities. I want to be a beautiful mystery.

Formal diagnosis: Adjustment Disorder, Mood Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Self diagnosis: Histrionic Personality Disorder
coneyislandking
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Consumer 6
 
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Permanent Linkby coneyislandking on Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:37 pm

So I told my boyfriend about HPD, and though he was very accepting and nurturing, he did tell me it didn't seem like a personality disorder, but just a description of many gale males. I see the similarities, but to disqualify HPD because there are histrionic traits in some normal personalities is to disqualify depression because some people are sad sometimes, or pessimistic.

I think if I had claimed to have any cluster B personality, he would have said the same thing--in reference to the same group of people.

People with sufficient personalities, even when they are charming and gregarious, are not suggestible to the extent of someone with HPD. They do not get sick whenever they get anxious or are faced with a daunting task. In the sufficient personality, when they act seductive, it's because they want to have sex--not because they want the validation of being wanted. Sufficient personalities can enjoy sex, because they do not compulsively act aroused.

Sufficient personalities outgrow the stage of development where your identity is too sensitive. Histrionics do not, and in the likeness of OCD, the histrionic cannot settle on an identity because of doubt that is experienced as old identities become functionally obsolete, so the histrionic discards the identity and starts anew, only to repeat this cycle.

After some explaining, my boyfriend was very respectful of the conditions I said this put on our relationship. I told him clear communication is key, because if I feel him avoiding me, I will feel like he doesn't want me and I will leave before I am left. I also told him to respect my demands during sex, so he doesn't touch me anywhere that will give me a startle response.

I find myself compelled to still want other boys to want me, though I am not going to cheat on my boyfriend. I don't want to cheat on him. I just feel like making other boys want me, to be like "look what you can't have".

I hate thinking.

There are some mornings when the sky looks like a road.
There are some dragons who were built to have and hold.
And some machines are dropped from great heights lovingly,
and some great bellies ache with many bumblebees,
and they sting so terribly.
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