| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Zor/index_sid-e5df256014f838d3b3fe715247d29b65.html |
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| Author: | Zor [ Fri Mar 15, 2019 2:53 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | Old Writings |
I shared several old poems on the forums here (https://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic211905.html) and thought I'd make a blog post here to make them easier to find for people. The Unknown (Oct-Dec 96) A constantly erratic theme Where only the stars gleam A place of nightmares and dreams a place of forever equals and no teams The great motion in works Where the ultimate unknown lurks A forest of stellar sights A thousand maybes and mights A place of wonder no one will find A world only within our mind Open Wounds (3-13-97) My life is full of nothing holes I cannot fill in my mind nightmares, dreams, hopes, fears all inside but not all mine Open woulds bleeding inside in places I don't know in places I can't find She dances, she is a flower, she is my precious fairy, he is my strength, he is my mirror, none are me who are all me These open wounds remain buried beneath the skin so far they pull me down like tar these open wounds a hidden pain Pixie No One Knows (6 Dec 98) No one knows that this is true Deep within, other versions of me Longing to be open and free as you Desperately hidden, desperate that you don't see We cling inside to our lights Hiding from the shadows dark No one knows the pain and frights No one knows we are your fire's spark My Grief (3-28-97) I'm walking through the trails by Moose Lake, it's 2AM the branches pull at the tights, tug on the skirt "I feel pretty." I hear the words but it's not me, I don't say them If I knew how I got here, if the heels didn't make my feet hurt Another night sneaking into the house dressed like a girl I'll bury the clothes in my closet, deep inside the feel I'll get caught, I want to hurl I hate that again this happened, ashamed I'll hide Why don't I remember how it began, where I got this dress the things I'm in, down to the panties, too scared to be amused a 10 minute walk, I left as a boy, over an hour later an amnesiac girl, what a mess so much time, many actions, no memory, I feel self-abused I know I'm not gay, or think I'm a girl, so what the hell?! How does this keep happening to me, why has it always happened to me?! I feel like I'm living between lives, the memory gaps a prison cell I wish I knew what was concealed, what my mind hides from me Another weekend babysitting, wearing worthless clothes is fine so when I find myself away from here dressed like a pretty flower long since thrown away what I wore, it won't be a big loss of mine I don't know what I'll be in or doing, and I hope it's not longer than an hour My Monster (5-7-97) I feel the monster stirring inside it plagues my mind, haunts my dreams it is the nightmare I cannot forget or hide I fear it is more real than it seems A dark man standing like an overlord whose menacing presence makes me shake his touch as dark as his form, I feel whored he comes just a few times a year, how much can I take My monster is the worst kind not only because he makes me a little kid My monster lives within my mind always punishing my crying after doing what he did How am I so awful to deserve this fate what did I do to be punished by his touch despite my dear friends inside, it's me I hate Am I so awful to deserve this pain, because it's just too much My monster says he loves me while he destroys openly gentle and loving with a smile but when he comes for me alone, it's a menacing poise what he did poisons the mind with toxic bile My monster chases me, catches me, causes strife could I ever be free without ending my life Nashville (17 Apr 02) A dark train pulls into Nashville He can't remember from where he just came The city lights confuse his brain he doesn't know where to go The sky above is just ascloudy as the day he's seen He keeps looking into the mirror every day hoping he'll see something he knew yesterday he keeps looking into himself hoping to find the answers to who he was A cold rain falls over Nashville He can't stop shivering from deep within The... [ Continued ] |
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