So I realise now that nobody was ever going to love me
I had such a high opinion of myself. I figured I was kind, charming, intelligent, fun, attractive, patient and basically all good things.
Maybe it's a gay thing. Or maybe I'm delusional about myself. The only gay people that take an interest in me on apps are fat or ugly or retarded. But I do notice that when gay people catch sight of me in person they will do things like "like" my statuses more. So I dunno maybe I'm being dumb with this. Maybe if I just went out to clubs and socialised I woulda found someone who'd love me. Someone acceptable.
The universe and my spiritual path hated me and wanted the worst for me. I had personal problems to overcome too, that being codependency and I suppose a lack of emotional fortitude.
Anyway I want to make people fall in love with me and crush them, which is a thing I learned is possible to do. It will be the only way I can be loved. If you dump someone or the break-up is mutual they'll forget you in some months, but if you leave them you could inhabit their psyche for years... I deserve to be loved by many people cause I'm superior and enlightened.