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Zdlwoo
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Joined: Mon Dec 07, 2015 10:51 pm
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   Tue Dec 08, 2015 10:08 pm
Conversion disorder
   Tue Dec 08, 2015 12:09 pm
Posted this on Schizoeffective forums yesterday
   Tue Dec 08, 2015 11:53 am
Number 1
   Tue Dec 08, 2015 11:52 am

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Permanent Linkby Zdlwoo on Tue Dec 08, 2015 10:08 pm

I was reading something about being stuck online like you give yourself an imaginary line and imagine yourself on one side of it but if you could cross it you would be free and able to behave how you want. It's like he says they is really because you don't want to experience negative feelings in a new situation I'm not sure that's inaccurate I don't know if I want to livefreely because I make it to a point where I'm doing really well and then I have a mental breakdown and be so decking weird and inept

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Conversion disorder

Permanent Linkby Zdlwoo on Tue Dec 08, 2015 12:09 pm

I looked on the forums scrolling down I try to find out if I have a disorder other than when I was diagnosed with which is schizoaffective (I am diagnosed with it but still don't know that i feel secure with just saying I have Schizoeffective like maybe it's schizotypal personality disorder)but I came across this thing called conversion disorder when I looked it up it was something strange described by Wikipedia or web M.D. But I think it wasblindness or could be other things like limb paralysis(maybe I made that up) something that is like hard to explain and remember I have to look it up more but I made a post about it my situation in the conversion forms I think it applies to conversion disorder but I haven't had a reply back since it is only been hours since I posted it

Zdlwoo wrote:I am having conversion attacks I didn't know I was I went on this psych forums list looking to hone in on my disorder and make sure that I had schizoaffective disorder make sure it is the only thing .I will try to link my voices to people that I used to know right when they would talk about something or not want me to say or do something however strenuous that might cause them the most limited amount of stress my vision would blur incredibly (at that moment) (id say something like ###$ you that's ridiculous or "I'm so sorry" and it would come back.I also sometimes lose feeling in my muscles lose feeling in my back that I would attribute to the voices and , on a side note,I don't give them power When I am not really bored. When I'm not bored I continue life fairly normal( granted I'm not speed balling )and empowering them by starting to think about them in turn in my mind causing them stress I guess drawing their attention on me .then my feeling went away from my body namely my back .I can use the muscles in a portion of my back it's like my mind was drawn off from whatever it was That makes me able to use the muscles in that part of my back "now my posture is probably messed up because whether I am working out or takes weeks off , sleep downstairs or up, its like I can't get feeling back bc I've upset them .Anyway I'm constantly popping my back because of irritation. Also I was wondering if not feeling substances or over feeling substances these days would qualify for a conversion attack. Like taking a tenth of heroin plus a big ass crack rock in a single shot feeling sober its and sometimes I'd drink like a beer by myself and feel overintoxicated.
Last edited by Ada on Tue Dec 08, 2015 10:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Edited to make bbcode work. No other changes.

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Posted this on Schizoeffective forums yesterday

Permanent Linkby Zdlwoo on Tue Dec 08, 2015 11:53 am

[quote="Zdlwoo"]do I have a lot of time spent in the last day trying to find something for focus but going back I did get some Strattera from my psychiatrist after waiting for about a month trying to get an appointment .my Schizoeffective if that is what it actually is got hella worse so now I'm back on Seroquel after being off of it for months and I can't find Adderall on the Internet and my psychiatrist won't give it to me because it might make my schizoaffective what I think is schizoaffective worse.adderall help me a lot and at Highschool I could concentrate my grades were Good good or great instead of pretty Poor without adderall.

Though now that I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective I'm not sure that I still could take Adderall And be all right it could amplify voices.(any drug use is a major ######6 thing between me and voices) i don't think I have a terrible mental affliction but maybe brain damage I was a big-time drug user of speedball 2.5 years ago since then sober but I couldn't feel a tenth or heroin mixed with a fat crack rock in a shot or a shot of meth. Im skeptical all drugs will work on me or that old ones will function like before I had my diagnosis.not sure if drugs are going to go to help me but my motivation is pretty ###$ up i'm not sad but I don't do anythingmama told me to try I'm sure she would and it's not like I don't want to do the task but $#%^ like staring in a ######6 wall is doing a task I thought about getting modafinilbut don't think that helps with motivation[/quote]

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Number 1

Permanent Linkby Zdlwoo on Tue Dec 08, 2015 11:52 am

I just figured that most of these messages im posting on the psych forums should really be a blog or just or they are messages saved somewhere obscurely on my phone all these messages that I am thinking of posting on the forums about me I can post maybe show them to the judge for disability purposes

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