Our partner

Blog Stats
11437Total Entries
4232Total Comments
Search Blogs

  • Category
    Blogs
Random Blog Entry
In memory of my wayward uncle by Lucinda on Thu Feb 06, 2014 9:23 pm
..he died yesterday at 5am. I want to devote some writing to this wayward man, whose life was fraught with strife.
He was brilliant academically but like many of his peers two of whom started AA in Ireland, he battled with alcohol addiction. We have many dark comedy sketches to draw on, which depict his dysfunction. One story is when two Russian guards, on duty guarding the Russian embassy in Ireland ( Uncle Liam lived next door)...left their post to wrestle him to the ground in an effort to prevent him from driving to procure more alcohol. To have left their post would have entailed punishment had they been caught.....
He was handsome; a Paul Newman lookalike, and all his offspring ( my first cousins) were beautiful to look at ; equally as talented and equally dysfunctional. Two sons suicided and last year his 15yr old grandson chose the same route.
Liam was 80yrs old and had managed to beat the demon alcohol for the past 15yrs with but one relapse. During this relapse our family had to intervene and nurse him back to health, his own family ( those remaining alive ) were unable to show the required Love or care to do so.
The death of his grandson was the only death he dealt with whilst sober. Perhaps the strength he showed at handling the grief, exerted an inward toll and his reward for such stoicism was cancer.
He was diagnosed less than a week ago, and is now dead. So hard to believe.; so fast...
His humour was witty and layered and often inappropriate. I remember at his eldest sons funeral he drank and drank and made lewd jokes about his flaccid penis. How ''it is not everyday a man's son dies' and we should all drink up and make merry.....
The past two years were spent searching for meaning and purpose to life. Being a 'left brained' man , he was desperate to seek proof that Jesus and God existed and refuted dates and facts in the literature he accessed. He drove us insane with his critical analysis of books like the thirteenth apostle...We would joke about it. My dad, his brother ( a monosyllabic emotionally detached different kind of alcoholic )would complain about having to listen to Liam rant and rave about that f'ucking 13th apostle and who the f'ck was that apostle?
Liam resisted the idea there is a God, yet desperately wanted to find evidence to prove himself wrong.
My angelic sister was the only one who could listen to him or endure his company these past few years. His wife and daughter lamented the fact he was sober as he was ''more likeable when drunk''
And this weird pair who hibernate from the world and have understandably little Love in their hearts must now face another funeral. They will be grateful I am overseas as for some reason I am a threat to them. For some reason my female cousin has felt I have succeeded in life and she has failed. Being close in age, ridiculous comparisons were made by family when we were younger. Uncle Liam always put his daughter down in his comparisons to me. :( Now we are fearful of each other without really knowing why)....
In a strange way his tenacity to life in the face of so much adversity was a source of strength to all who knew him.
I am filled with sadness that he is gone.
Anyway Liam, if there is anything I wish for you, it is that you have found peace. And to request if there is an after life you send us a sign. My sister deserves it if not I. :)

1 Comment Viewed 18326 times
Feed Recent Blog Entries
Strange Feeling by fisherwoman on Thu Aug 18, 2022 1:46 pm
I want to drink water from your hands but the 1st thought I have is germs. Why do I get groused out? Don't I love you? Yes I do. Why can't I swallow your saliva without kringing? Maybe I need to get to...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 38 times
I haven't done any compulsions for a year by Kaleb28 on Wed Aug 17, 2022 10:48 pm
E.R.P. therapy is meant to expose you to the things that trigger your compulsions in an effort to stop you from doing your compulsions. The thing is I haven't done any compulsions in the past year. Yes...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 43 times
Relationship and work; 31; WHere am I now. by OMNICELL on Wed Aug 17, 2022 1:24 am
WHere am I now.
.
After the universe unveiling how to move beyond old relationships where I was fooled by people who were never my friends; real monsters that set me up that Ive been crippled by for...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 170 times
Thirty-one by Chels91 on Tue Aug 16, 2022 6:54 pm
Looking back, the 30th year of my life has sure been an eventful one and an age I know I'm going to be looking back on for the rest of my life. My dad and longtime molester had died, I finally faced all...

[ Continued ]

2 Comments Viewed 410 times
Relationship and work issues; #30; New Directions by OMNICELL on Tue Aug 16, 2022 6:06 pm
New Directions; thats where Im headed because their are no directions in the 12 step groups; Im almost done with them; they can work for relief of PTSD and Dissociation but they are also layden with...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 135 times
Feed Recent Comments
Re: Thirty-one by Chels91 on Wed Aug 17, 2022 2:44 am
Thank you.

Re: Thirty-one by Snaga on Wed Aug 17, 2022 2:40 am
Happy Birthday!

Re: I wish I was more expressive by Chels91 on Tue Aug 16, 2022 8:53 am
I disagree. You’ve been far too helpful for me not to be.

Re: I wish I was more expressive by Snaga on Tue Aug 16, 2022 3:59 am
Oh I'm the last person you should be humbled by!

Re: I wish I was more expressive by Chels91 on Tue Aug 16, 2022 3:17 am
Aggie78 wrote:Hi Chelsea: I get it. Separation from emotions is a way of protecting the self. It’s like elevating one self above those troublesome emotions. Thank God we were c...


[ Continued ]

Who is online

Registered users: ArbreMonde, Bing [Bot], ethanthealien, gavinbox, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, greyalex, Henryprusy, Kaleb28, LearningToo, locro, Majestic-12 [Bot], Pennyjer, Ubinix800, ViTheta, zippy0083