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A little about who I am.
I began drinking in my early teens and it was probably out-of-control from the very beginning. Alcohol seemed to be what had been missing all my life in how it made me feel (or not feel).
I dabbled in soft drugs, but nothing very serious. Luckily cocaine never did anything for me or else my story would likely have been shorter and sadder.
While all my alma-mater was getting married, buying homes and raising families, I was still busy being a bar-fly and the life of the party. I missed out on a lot and made a mess of things while I was in my 20's.
At 30, I was a daily, chronic, homeless, unemployable liquor bottle-gulping alcoholic. I always thought that this happened to other people and never thought that it could happen to me. :shock:
I was no longer being invited to parties and drank alone. I kind of liked it better that way too. My emotional development probably ceased when I started drinking. In many ways, I was stopped at an adolescent level.
My health and hygiene were suffering. Things like, gagging every time I tried to brush my teeth. My digestion and mental health was degrading. I was becoming apathetic. Everything sounded like criticism. I was clinically delusional. I was never a wet-brain, but that would likely have been a future consequence of alcoholic organ damage.
I had to quit drinking, but I found out that it just wasn't that easy. My first attempts at recovery were unsuccessful. I was trying to do it my self and my way, but the rooms and people in AA got me out of myself and saved my life. I couldn't just cut down or just stick to beer, I had to stop.
An AA friend brought me into his house. There were 4 guys here that rented rooms. It was a safe place for recovery and for working men. He eventually sold me the house and moved on.
After the alcohol was lifted, I was finally able to address depression and anxiety issues at a mental health facility. I was on Buspar and Imipramine for years. You can't really treat an active alcoholic for psych and I would have been ineligible for any surgeries.
I got married at 46 and have a great step-son. My future wife and I knew each other since grade-school and lived in the same neighborhood, but didn't really hang out together. We reconnected at the wake of a classmate.
I changed jobs at 50 because of musculoskeletal problems. I had to find physically less rigorous work (auto mechanics to electronics).
I still have the house as I first got well here. It is a cornerstone to my recovery. I moved the last people out and we moved in.
Today: Helping others. Trust God. The Golden Rule. A kind word. Family. Hobbies. Contessa, my rescue cat. Bicycle rides. Deep breathing/clearing the clutter in my mind. Trying different recipes. Moderation. Planning the future. Spontaneity without fear.
I just turned 60 years old and life is better every day.
Best of luck to y'all. :D
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