I left my husband just over a year ago now. At first, my life improved. I got into a routine, lost weight, ate healthily, dated, felt good about myself. It wasn't perfect, I still had occasional meltdowns, but in hindsight, it was an improvement on my current state.
Currently I've had months of erratic living: 2 morning after pills, an abortion, flitting between two houses, living out of a backpack, more relationship breakups than I care to imagine, stepfamily problems,accelerated alcohol abuse, comfort eating, weight gain, you name it. Consequently my self-esteem has plummeted. I've given up going to the gym - which has probably been the anchor in my life - it gave me confidence, it gave me social contact, it kept me mentally and physically healthy and it nourished my routine. I've given it up because I feel fat (irony!) but also because my erratic lifestyle means:
1. I've been miles away from it most of the time and I don't drive so can't get there.
2. I've been unable to book classes as I've never known where I'll be from one day to the next.
My erratic lifestyle also means I've cancelled doctor appointments that I made in my best interests (to seek counselling, change medication).
This is a super low point in my life, and Christmas rubs salt in the gaping wounds. Christmas is a time to feel happy and secure, to feel loved. I feel none of these things. How can I pull my life together? I still don't know where my home is, so can't join any gym. And my relationship is all over the place so I feel scared and lonely a lot.