on the one hand
i want to change or do something about this
build a life
bond with people
ball and chain

but i dont seem to be going in that direction very fast.
why is that

on the other hand
deeper inside all the way at the core
i just
dont
care
im actually quite happy with what i am
pretty content to be a loser
a happy loser with less doing less
just existing
i think
nothing has interested me enough
to really keep it forever
no one and nothing
the real obvious but strange thing is
even if i did get locked up for life
in some tiny cell and never come out
il actually be okay
if i get thrown out by society
and live in a mountain
sit on a rock all day
il be okay with it
il eat the bugs on the floor
and just sit there
just me
okay
loser
scum
void
hello there!