| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Shawniecat12345/index_sid-414a792daaa571c4fc61a84934e603ca.html |
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| Author: | Shawniecat12345 [ Mon Jul 01, 2013 2:38 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | I hate this label!! Newly Diagnosed |
I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for many years now. When I was diagnosed with BPD about a month ago, the only info I knew about BPD was what I had gleaned from the movie Girl Interrupted. So I went on line and read as much as I could about the disorder. I know a lot more about it now, but here is my issue. My already unstable identity is now thrown into chaos. Where do I end and where does this disorder begin? What characteristics are me and what are the disorder? I cant deal with the idea that my personality is somehow inherently flawed. Depression and anxiety are illnesses that I thought I would eventually overcome. But a disordered PERSONALITY?!! Yikes! This seems insurmountable! Yes my moods are very unstable. Yes I have distain for other people most of the time. Yes I have turbulent relationships. Yes I self injure. Yes I am impulsive. Yes I feel empty and I am lost. Yes Im self destructive etc etc. But cant these things also be symptoms of depression? Im so confused. Who am I? I thought I was just a troubled woman with past trauma, whos life didn't turn out the way I thought it would. Now I feel like a walking DISORDER! All I can think now is Oh Im so effed up, which is making me feel worse! Im really having a hard time with this label!!!!! |
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