| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/ScAfLi/index_sid-ac5132ad44a40d91a9c563d2d804de7f.html |
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| Author: | ScAfLi [ Thu Jun 13, 2013 11:27 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | Cutting off my medication |
I made a decision to quit my medication today because I don't like it. I have talked to my doctors before about it but they are scared of what will happen if I quit taking it, so they tell me it can't be done. I think like this - It's my head, my life and my concequences. They don't know what it does to the head taking these drugs and they can't be inside my head. All the "medicine" I have taken has made me feel like $#%^ - twitching, can't stand sunlight, no orgasm, no happiness, no sadness, anxiety, no creativity.... Creativity brings me to the point. I play guitar and sing, I also make my own songs. On this medicine I can't write anything because I don't feel anything. It's important to me to do my music. I don't think I am going to be a star or anything, but the music is my biggest therapy. Much bigger than these $#%^ pills they are pushing to me. I am currently on 10 mg of abilify, last night I cut it down to 7.5 mg. I will do 7.5 mg for one week, then 5 mg for two weeks, 2.5 mg for one week and then I'm off. I will update this blog and write down how it's going. |
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| Author: | ScAfLi [ Tue Apr 30, 2013 9:05 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | Be aware of drugs! |
This entry is about the dangers of using drugs as self medication. I never realized how bad I felt inside until I tried hashish the first time. It was like suddently I had found my reason to live - I fell in love. I could relax, laugh and feel "real" joy. It did not take long before I was smoking every day. After a while it was not about happiness and joy. It was about not feeling "normal" when not intoxicated. The drug had becomed my identity and I did not realize it. I lost my friends who didn't use drugs. And I allways stood up for the drug and defended my use aswell as the drug itself, like it was my best friend. When I was eighteen, I got a chronic, painful disease that's called Crohn's Disease. To ease the pain, I smoked even more hash. After a couple of years I got diagnosed with Crohn's, and got medicine that took the pain away. I was glad I could go on with my life, but I was still depressed and I still had a drug-problem. I started experimenting more with different drugs and got more and more socialy dysfunctional. I went away to school and got top grades when the year was over. That year I hardly did drugs and focused on getting good grades. But when the year was over I got psychotic. I think it was because of stress and being depressed for so long. My diagnosis was "drug-induced psychosis". Of course drugs was a important factor for me getting sick, but what came first? drug abuse or mental issues? I guess I will never know. All I know is that not taking drugs does not make my issues go away. I am still bothered by mood swings, depression, dellutions, hallucinations and paranoia. But taking drugs makes it worse. Taking drugs to feel better is like pissing your pants to stay warm! |
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