|Psychology and Mental Health Forum|
|Author:||Sarandipity [ Sun Jun 24, 2018 11:09 pm ]|
|Blog Subject:||Random Writing|
Writing for myself more than anything I guess.
So today was hard. Letting wake up and time to different aspects all in one day.
Not feeling comfortable in self at moment due to having to strictly monitor self due to my new routine.
Although the park helped and watching a cartoon and making Yorkshire pudding.
Couldn't even fully relax today due to outside discord.
Suppression of parts for safety is pretty disruptive to me. Need to avoid becoming what I call "actually ill" which involves derealisation, depersonalisation and sometimes dissociative fugue. Derealisation can last longest and is most dangerous.
Anyway I need to avoid all that.
Get through this week and fingers crossed have a much better weekend next weekend although I think that's unlikely due to outside person.
I'll need a plan for that probably but I'm too tired to tgink of one now.
Anything important to remember or note? (I'm using this like a note pad)... Not really except for as usual you seem to find yourself in a very constricting relationship and you're not doing anything to get out of it even though you know full well he'll always be how he is and he's been using you for months but you know this. And you also know he'll most likely read this because he's a jealous control freak. And that'll cause you more problems. Not really sure what you're doing it for.
Does anyone know? - Somehow stabilising by constantly triggering - so basically we're rhesus monkeys.
Relationship is our last hurdle. Get over the current hurdle and then tackle it - now that makes some sense.
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