var title = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed';
		var url = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html';
		var site_url = 'https://www.psychforums.com';
		var site_desc = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum';
		var time = 'Thu, 07 Aug 2025 00:16:07 -0400';

		var data = new Array();
		

		data[0] = new Array();
		data[0]['title'] = 'My screwed mind - GID and DID';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_screwed_mind_gid_and_did_c-3_u-237822_b-5401.html';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_screwed_mind_gid_and_did_c-3_u-237822_b-5401.html';
		data[0]['username'] = 'omeganashik';
		data[0]['blog_id'] = '5401';
		data[0]['blog_message'] = 'At the age of eleven, five years ago, I recall calling a voice in my head the narrator, because he would refer to my life in third person, always negatively, constantly talking, and arguing with me, To this day. As far back as I can remember I have had a want to become female, purely for physical reasons, however, this need was intermittent, usually I had the standardly accepted gender identity, I even imagine being a father- not a parent or mother, a father- and now at sixteen my gender identity feels as if it has split into two, transgendered and &#039;normal,&#039; while I am now &#039;turned on&#039; by material of transgendered nature at times, but usually am not. The narrator has also evolved, triggering bouts of sudden uncharacteristic anger, while I am usually calm and cheerful. I sometimes find that my face is curling into a look of anger or contempt, or that I have sudden images of badly hurting people who do something I dislike, that may have been an acceptable thing to do, but for whatever reason I just feel foreign satisfaction in imagining pain.<br /><br />I began looking through myself, basically just trying to figure out what the hell is wrong, and the following are the results:<br /><br />At the age of six I had a crush on a girl in my primary school class, she left that year, for other reasons. This is the most definite starting point I can place for my tgism. then, at eleven, I had my second crush, on another classmate, and she walked up to me and told me to stay away from her shortly after the two friends I told this secret to went and told everyone. My theory is that my subconscious took these rejections, and the stereotypical views on geeks and indians, and sculpted from them the idea that I was so repulsive that the only way I could ever have a girl in my life was to be a girl, and so that shard of my gender identity broke away, and from this information I called that shard Lust. Lust doesn&#039;t seem to be as conscious as the narrator (who is now named Anger), though she has on two occasions exclaimed on how &#039;hot&#039; a guy was, though this may be because of nightly masturbation to the idea of being a girl, leading to lust already being expressed. Anger, however, is kept under lock and key, and so usually has a voice. There are other signs as well. I used to use electronic devices excessively, even when supposed to be sleeping, but I voluntarily stopped, and recently I&#039;ve started feeling tired after 11am, as if I hadn&#039;t gotten the sleep that I obviously did. Occasionally, when writing, my hand forms a squiggle instead of a letter, and my handwriting has deteriorated, and today when trying to write while holding the pen loosely, I could only make squiggles.<br /><br />There may be other voices, occasionally when playing a sport I become giddy, speaking without thinking, and really jumpy, and sometimes I hear a crowd, but that may be Anger messing with me.<br />There&#039;s a chance I am only imagining all of this, but I don&#039;t want to take that risk.<br />Help me please.';
		data[0]['blog_time'] = 'Thu, 19 Sep 2013 17:25:27 -0400';
		

		data[1] = new Array();
		data[1]['title'] = 'Desire to abuse cat?????';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/desire_to_abuse_cat%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94_c-3_u-344099_b-9871.html';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/desire_to_abuse_cat%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94_c-3_u-344099_b-9871.html';
		data[1]['username'] = 'Darkfirerip';
		data[1]['blog_id'] = '9871';
		data[1]['blog_message'] = 'Alright let me start this off with some context, I am a 18 year old senior who&#039;s life revolves around animals. At my house I have a cat and 7 reptiles (all mine), but at my grandparents who i vist every weeked, has not just a cat, but a spawn of pure evil. Now this cat we bought from a home as a kitten and raise it up to the evil it is today, it has never been abused and has a life full of enrichment amd everything it needs. But even so this cat does not let anyone pet it, it never purs, it breaks stuff, attacks at random, and has a ever growing desire to murder. My cat at home is the complete oppisite, so needless to say I was taken back by the attitude, and tried many things to correct this behavior. But recently I have had this ever burning passion to strangle the cat, step on its neck, or simply kill it in anyway possible. This started when the cat decided to ######6 fling one of my gecko enlosers across the room, break in, and eat its tail. It must have thought the taste was good too, because now she wont ######6 leave any of my enclosures alone and i have to hide them in the basement. Ever since she touched my precious child, I&#039;ve felt this way, and I have given up on trying to fix whatever mental problem this cat has, because whenever I see it, I get a visual image in my mind of abusing the thing. This freaks me out, I would never hurt my other animals or even my cat, but this ######6 evil has me going crazy, and these thoughts i have need to stop.';
		data[1]['blog_time'] = 'Sat, 30 Apr 2016 01:13:40 -0400';
		

		data[2] = new Array();
		data[2]['title'] = 'My friend scares me.';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_friend_scares_me._c-3_u-420947_b-11256.html';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_friend_scares_me._c-3_u-420947_b-11256.html';
		data[2]['username'] = 'Baloo197';
		data[2]['blog_id'] = '11256';
		data[2]['blog_message'] = 'My friend absolutely terrifies me. He has never done anything violent or harmful to me and is the most gentle and peaceful person I know (Though he is quite distant). He is also the most dangerous person I know. He usually has a calming air about him. It&#039;s calming to the point where he picked a bee off a flower and held it in his open palm for who knows how long before he sent it back on the flower without it stinging him. However, his air about him changes to absolute dread when he gets aggressive. This dread caused a dog to whimper and hide just by being near him. A moment to feel this dread is to ask him about his past.<br /><br />My friend has a rather dark past. He had drug addict, alcoholic, and sick parents for the first three years of his life who were constantly fighting. He also was being watched by his legally crazy grandparents who were also drug addict alcoholics. He saw his mother brutally die in front of him from a car accident he was in. His father legally died then came back into a coma. He was physically, emotionally, and psychologically abused. He was raped. He was constantly being bullied at school and at home by his cousins. He hasn&#039;t seen his sister for ten years. He almost died countless times. He was also taken away from his father by the CPS. I was his first friend ever, and that was in the 5th grade (He was held back one year). I am still one of his only friends. The bullying never really stopped, it&#039;s just that everyone was to scared to.<br /><br />As I said before, he is the best person I have ever met. However, he becomes a monster when aggressive. During these moments, he is not angry in any way. He is actually very happy when he is aggressive. I have seen him do some monster like things when he is like that. Ranging from will his way through a sleep hold to overpowering four football players. A note to take is how he is a 5&#039; 5&quot; 135 lbs slender-athletic build guy who isn&#039;t very bulky despite his martial art training, but he is stronger than he looks and is very resilient. When he becomes aggressive, his entire being changes. His eyes become empty and have a death stare, his body language becomes feral and relaxed, He gets a joker like smile and tries to keep himself from giggling and almost growls, the air around him becomes full of dread, and his already efficient and dangerous fighting style becomes even more efficient and dangerous. When he is in a fight, killing an insect, or gutting a hunted animal he laughs harder and smiles harder. He clearly enjoys being hit or hurting things when he is in that state. He also doesn&#039;t feel any physical pain in that state. After he snaps back to normal, he bursts into a crying mess, and will often vanish when we all check to see if the guy he was fighting is okay.<br /><br />When he is normal, he has noble body language, a gentle look on his face, and love in his eyes. He will try to never harm anything and will resolve anything peacefully. He also genuinely cares about his few friends and gives amazing advise and can console anyone.<br /><br />My friend has gone to therapy, but the fact he couldn&#039;t remember what he did in the aggressive moment, the therapy didn&#039;t help him know what was wrong with him. He also went to anger management, but he apparently has an outstanding control over his anger. We both wonder what is wrong with him, and I am absolutely terrified of him even when he isn&#039;t in his aggressive state.';
		data[2]['blog_time'] = 'Fri, 14 Jul 2017 03:40:15 -0400';
		

		data[3] = new Array();
		data[3]['title'] = 'What to do?';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/what_to_do%CA%94_c-3_u-214057_b-4862.html';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/what_to_do%CA%94_c-3_u-214057_b-4862.html';
		data[3]['username'] = 'Orange16';
		data[3]['blog_id'] = '4862';
		data[3]['blog_message'] = 'I&#039;m not sure what I should do, I had a dream and my therapist was in my dream, by the way the dream was NOT sexual. I am wondering if I should tell him about my dream or not????';
		data[3]['blog_time'] = 'Sun, 07 Jul 2013 00:58:11 -0400';
		

		data[4] = new Array();
		data[4]['title'] = 'WTF?';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/wtf%CA%94_c-3_u-246885_b-5612.html';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/wtf%CA%94_c-3_u-246885_b-5612.html';
		data[4]['username'] = 'asoulfragmented';
		data[4]['blog_id'] = '5612';
		data[4]['blog_message'] = 'Mood: Exhausted<br />Listening to: Blake Shelton - Sure be cool if you did<br /><br /><br />It is one of those nights where I cannot get my mind to shut up. I am so sleepy but alas it manages to escape me. Racing thoughts and the like, This is my first time online today and it is 4:45 am so I guess that would technically mean that I was not online at all yesterday. I have not been able to focus enough on one thing to read a book. That is very stressful as reading is an outlet for me, I have my youtube playlist playing on shuffle so I don&#039;t even have to make a decision about a song cause right now my mind won&#039;t let me even think on it enough. I thought coming on here and writing for a bit would make me feel better or at least give me something to do but even now it is difficult to focus enough not to stray the subject. I love music there is rarely a time in my life that music is not playing. I listen to just about every genre I can think of with the exception of polka. Lately when I try to go to sleep paranoia takes over, it seems like the moment I become &quot;still&quot; the $#%^ hits the fan so to speak. Paranoia,agitation, conversations in my head with more than one voice. WTF? I moved across the country and have yet to see a therapist or mental health professional for that  matter. I have been off meds since roughly June. I sometimes feel like I am watching my life play in front of me like a movie without the option to react. I mean my body is reacting but I am not, what the hell is that about? The other night I went to bed around 3 am to try to sleep but the moment I stopped listening to music and reading articles online and settled down in my bed with the lights off it got ugly. First the paranoia set in, it was extreme. I felt like I was screaming inside my mind but no sounds escaped me. It seemed endless then a soft little crying voice was in my head like a thought but not my thought. Then the weirdest thing happened.... I got this mental image of a little girl crying holding a teddy bear curled up in a corner. I don&#039;t know how I knew but the little girls name is Sophia and she is 6. I have never seen this little girl before so how would I know her in my mind? Let me say this, My name is not Sophia and I have never personally met anyone by that name. After the image of the little girl left the &quot;screaming&quot; in my head started back up. I don&#039;t know.... I am lost and not sure what is going on. After that night I called and made an appointment with a dr in the new town I am in. I am nervous about going to a new dr, I do not trust easily and I don&#039;t know if I can open up to them. <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_confused.gif" alt=":?" title="Confused" />';
		data[4]['blog_time'] = 'Sat, 19 Oct 2013 05:48:44 -0400';