var title = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed';
		var url = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html';
		var site_url = 'https://www.psychforums.com';
		var site_desc = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum';
		var time = 'Sun, 24 Aug 2025 04:17:07 -0400';

		var data = new Array();
		

		data[0] = new Array();
		data[0]['title'] = 'HOCD is ruining my life';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/hocd_is_ruining_my_life_c-3_u-118937_b-3921.html';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/hocd_is_ruining_my_life_c-3_u-118937_b-3921.html';
		data[0]['username'] = 'mastercross1';
		data[0]['blog_id'] = '3921';
		data[0]['blog_message'] = 'OK. so first of all my name is Phil and i am 17 years old and a few months ago i have had the fear of becoming gay. I am a very anxious person and have always worried about things ever since i was about 5. for example, i would worry that i would go deaf, blind, have a heart condition etc. Every time i get over a fear and stop worrying a new worry comes to my mind maybe a few weeks later. my longest fear was that i had a retinal detachment because i saw floaters in my vision which were completely normal. i went to the doctors 3 times in 2 years. they scanned my eyes and did the best eye exam i ever experienced but afterwards i would always convince myself that there was still something wrong. i would always check and squint to see these things floating in my vision to the point i would feel sick and have panic attacks. when i was 11, i also felt a pain in my eye 24/7 and it got me really worried. but 1 month later when i went to the doctors and they said everything was OK, i never felt it again. it is clear to me that this was pain that i was causing by thinking!<br />now to the HOCD. A few months ago, i had this dream that i was watching 2 men kissing eachother. i felt no pleasure in the dream whatsoever. i then woke up sweating and panicking, disgusted by this dream. this was always in the back of my mind for 1 month until i really started to think about it. i was forcing these gay thoughts on myself to see if i would get aroused. it didnt at first but i was thinking about not getting an erection so bad that it increased in size a tiny bit and i had a panic attack. it didnt feel like an erection i would get though that i would get when i think of something nice like girls. Before all this, i had never had a gay thought and i actually used to think about gay stuff to make my erection go down when i had an unwanted one when i was in school last year:) I have always loved girls ever since i can remember and and i know deep down that I am not gay and this is just a worry like my other OCD problems in the past. I always look for attention from girls when i am shopping for example. i am apparently a cute/attractive guy and i love it when i know girls are checking me out. today i saw this girl and i would walk around her on purpose so she would see me because i knew she was checking me out and i just love that tingly feeling. But then i thought &quot;what if i am just imagining this attraction&quot; and gay images came into my head and i started to worry again. I have never checked out guys in my life until this HOCD kicked in. As soon as i see a good looking man, i just look and fear that i am attracted to him which i know im not but i just wait for ages for some feeling to make myslef worry even more. I cant control it.<br />However, when i am totally relaxed and haven&#039;t thought about gay things all day and then think about it, it doesnt do anything to me. i dont worry and i dont feel disgusted. but the more i think and think i find it hard to breathe and get this weird feeling. yesterday when i was really relaxed, i had an erection and went on gay porn to check if this is just my mind and my erection went down so fast. <br />This HOCD was much worse than it is now but it keeps coming and going and i want it to stop because it is really ridiculous but i cant control it whatsoever and it is ruining my life. it is as if i am like possessed and there is another person inside me making me worry. <br />please help me. i dont know how to stop it. i have had so many OCD problems in the past but this is really the worst one.<br />thanks for reading!';
		data[0]['blog_time'] = 'Fri, 04 Jan 2013 13:15:28 -0500';
		

		data[1] = new Array();
		data[1]['title'] = 'I think I am Covert narcissists and a gifted';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html';
		data[1]['username'] = 'MarC0Sand0';
		data[1]['blog_id'] = '8642';
		data[1]['blog_message'] = 'Whole of my life I know that I am unique. Since I was 7 years old I can feel that I am always out of place from other children. I can&#039;t feel any deep connection. I was just always quiet and shy. <br />My situation at home is that I have a parents whose having an incredibly expectation from me since I was always in 1st section in the class. My mother is always spoiling me(also having codependency tendency), my father will never listen to anyone aside from himself and always having a rough words(narcissistic tendency) and I have a big brother who I think having autism with narcissistic personality disorder who is a big bully in my life that always abuse me physically and verbally.<br /><br />My brother abuse me a lot verbally(threatening, bullying, devaluing) almost everyday since I was 13 I already used silent treatment in our relationship till now that I was 20. Thanks a lot since he moved to other place now. <br /><br />When I was 16 and I am in college I went far away from home to study in university. This is the time that I can really conclude that I have something inside of me. I became so depressed, but I don&#039;t want to commit suicide. All of the characteristics of covert narcissists I did. <br /><br /><br /><br />___ I can become entirely absorbed in thinking about my personal affairs, my health, my cares or my relations to others.<br />___ My feelings are easily hurt by ridicule or the slighting remarks of others.<br />___ When I enter a room I often become self-conscious and feel that the eyes of others are upon me.<br />___ I dislike sharing the credit of an achievement with others.<br />___ I feel that I have enough on my hand without worrying about other people&#039;s troubles.<br />___ I feel that I am temperamentally different from most people.<br />___ I often interpret the remarks of others in a personal way.<br />___ I easily become wrapped up in my own interests and forget the existence of others.<br />___ I dislike being with a group unless I know that I am appreciated by at least one of those present.<br />___ I am secretly &quot;put out&quot; or annoyed when other people come to me with their troubles, asking me for their time and sympathy.<br />___ I am jealous of good-looking people.<br />___ I tend to feel humiliated when criticized.<br />___ I wonder why other people aren&#039;t more appreciative of my good qualities.<br />___ I tend to see other people as being either great or terrible.<br />___ I sometimes have fantasies about being violent without knowing why.<br />___ I am especially sensitive to success and failure.<br />___ I have problems that nobody else seems to understand.<br />___ I try to avoid rejection at all costs.<br />___ My secret thoughts, feelings, and actions would horrify some of my friends.<br />___ I tend to become involved in relationships in which I alternately adore and despise the other person.<br />___ Even when I am in a group of friends, I often feel very alone and uneasy.<br />___ I resent others who have what I lack.<br />___ Defeat or disappointment usually shame or anger me, but I try not to show it.<br /><br />Link to the above information: http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/23-signs-youe28099re-secretly-a-narcissist-masquerading-as-a-sensitive-introvert/<br /><br />I will admit. It&#039;s like reading my self. . .<br /><br /><br />last two months ago. While watching youtube I suddenly came up with &quot;How to know a secret narcissists&quot;. First I was just having fun but when I literally looked at it. That&#039;s me. So I researched it and found the questions above.<br /><br />Talking of being gifted. I&#039;m not just telling this since I am a narcissists &#039;cause I literally have evidences that I am a gifted. I take an online IQ test and I range in a gifted person. I also members musical bands, marching band, Rondalla(string instrument players) and I always excel and excellent in this area. I also always competing in chess competition and got 2nd place in national level. And a very good math thinker. I am not telling lies but it&#039;s up to you if you will. Since I am an ultimate pathological lair I might lying. <br /><br />But this is where I am confused since gifted and covert narcissists...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[1]['blog_time'] = 'Mon, 06 Jul 2015 21:31:54 -0400';
		

		data[2] = new Array();
		data[2]['title'] = 'Shoplifting Mother!! HELP!';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/shoplifting_mother%C7%83%C7%83_help%C7%83_c-3_u-446624_b-12259.html';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/shoplifting_mother%C7%83%C7%83_help%C7%83_c-3_u-446624_b-12259.html';
		data[2]['username'] = 'Greyartist';
		data[2]['blog_id'] = '12259';
		data[2]['blog_message'] = 'Hi, this will be my first post on here and I really need some advice or help and I’m beyond desperate. My mother is a shoplifter, and I’m only a teenager and I’m the only one in the family that knows and I’m scared to go anywhere with her because I know she will steal items. <br /><br /> So basically since before I can remember, my Mom would steal things. Mainly it was groceries (she would get plastic reusable bags and bag everything up in an empty aisle and walk out looking like she payed) and I remember watching her do this when I was around 5 and not realizing it was stealing. I didn’t realize until i was around 7. She wouldn’t just steal groceries tho, she would steal perfume, lotion, makeup, shoes and other goods. This is where it gets a bit complicated, after doing this for years, she got caught around 2years ago and was put on house arrest, I am the only person who knows that she has ever shoplifted/ that she was on House Arrest. At the time, she told me she had a disorder and was going to seek treatment, but she never did. After she attempted a fake 2 minute apology for years of emotional distress, I sort of forgave her. I know it seems impossible but deep down inside, i wanted to believe that she just made a mistake and that everything was going to stop. And for a little bit, it did. I didn’t really see her take anything and I thought she was better, until she started again. One day we were at the store and I saw some stuff she stuffed into her purse and I couldn’t take it and ran out of the store into the car. She then came into the car after finishing shopping, and flipped out. She kept on pressing me to tell her what made we leave and sorta came off scary when she began listing off random reasons I ran out, (Did you see your crush? Did something happen on Instagram? Etc) then she got this overly confused (and sort of scary) exaggerated face and went, “is it because of ME?” I just kept on saying no to everything she said cause I didn’t know what else to say. Things have just gotten worst from there, one time I was in the store with her (cause she manipulated me to go with her I didn’t want to) and I was walking behind her and she started getting REALLY mad at me for no reason. She said “stop stalking me you weirdo” and “go find this random thing, NOW”. I just walked a few feet away and I kept my eye on her and she went into an empty aisle and shoved some stuff into her purse. When we were waking out the alarm thing went off and my heart sank but nothing happened, we just kept walking  and no one realized. In the past months or so she has appeared with new makeup and luxury soap and lotion and all this crap, and she has come home with groceries in reusable bags, meaning she stole it. Recently she noticed I was getting extremely distant from her (and I think rightfully so),and we had “a talk”. after prying for ever, I told her it was because of her taking stuff and she took a FIRM position that she hasn’t taken anything since she was on House Arrest and that she only stole stuff in the first place because she was “desperate” and didn’t have money, however that’s a straight lie. We aren’t by any means super well off, but when she started stealing my Dad had a great job and we were going on vacations to Disneyland, Las Vegas and California. Not to mention my grandparents are relatively well off and would help us out if we really were that “desperate”. Anyways, she started pathetically crying SWEARING she hadn’t done anything, but I know for a fact she has. That night I went to a friends house and she sent me an angry text saying I was going to start showing her respect “and stop treating her like a thief” BUT SHE IS ONE. Now, we are in an awkward position, and it’s extremely complicated because she’s my mom and I want to love her and sometimes we get along sort of (it sounds crazy I know) but I’m starting to come to a breaking point. Thank you so much if you’ve read all of this.<br />I’m currently crying while typing this, it probably ...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/shoplifting_mother%C7%83%C7%83_help%C7%83_c-3_u-446624_b-12259.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[2]['blog_time'] = 'Sat, 14 Jul 2018 01:13:38 -0400';
		

		data[3] = new Array();
		data[3]['title'] = '...';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/..._c-3_u-80481_b-2003.html';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/..._c-3_u-80481_b-2003.html';
		data[3]['username'] = 'lilnumber9';
		data[3]['blog_id'] = '2003';
		data[3]['blog_message'] = '...';
		data[3]['blog_time'] = 'Sun, 15 Jan 2012 16:50:19 -0500';
		

		data[4] = new Array();
		data[4]['title'] = 'My Best Friends Step dad harasses me and him';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_best_friends_step_dad_harasses_me_and_him_c-3_u-311565_b-9238.html';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_best_friends_step_dad_harasses_me_and_him_c-3_u-311565_b-9238.html';
		data[4]['username'] = '339737';
		data[4]['blog_id'] = '9238';
		data[4]['blog_message'] = 'This all started about a year and a half ago. I was spending the night at my best friends house for the first time and i got a little warm so i was changing into a tank top and while i had my shirt off his step dad came into the room. i saw him give me a strange glare and walk away. i hadn&#039;t thought anything of it for about seven months. Then after noticing that we weren&#039;t hanging at his house at all anymore i started wondering. so one day after school i went over to his house. his mom let me in and we talked until he got home. Throughout the this whole time his step dad has blocked my number on their home phone, tried convincing the homeowners community not to allow me to walk on his street, he&#039;s banned me from his property, and his son can no longer come over to my house at all anymore. Ive overheard his dad call me a few very unflattering names. and his mom has called my parents a complete waste of time. I&#039;m wondering what options i have either to file a suit against him or how i can get him to understand what he has done over the years.';
		data[4]['blog_time'] = 'Fri, 13 Nov 2015 21:58:13 -0500';