var title = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed';
		var url = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html';
		var site_url = 'https://www.psychforums.com';
		var site_desc = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum';
		var time = 'Fri, 15 Aug 2025 02:52:04 -0400';

		var data = new Array();
		

		data[0] = new Array();
		data[0]['title'] = 'My screwed mind - GID and DID';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_screwed_mind_gid_and_did_c-3_u-237822_b-5401.html';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_screwed_mind_gid_and_did_c-3_u-237822_b-5401.html';
		data[0]['username'] = 'omeganashik';
		data[0]['blog_id'] = '5401';
		data[0]['blog_message'] = 'At the age of eleven, five years ago, I recall calling a voice in my head the narrator, because he would refer to my life in third person, always negatively, constantly talking, and arguing with me, To this day. As far back as I can remember I have had a want to become female, purely for physical reasons, however, this need was intermittent, usually I had the standardly accepted gender identity, I even imagine being a father- not a parent or mother, a father- and now at sixteen my gender identity feels as if it has split into two, transgendered and &#039;normal,&#039; while I am now &#039;turned on&#039; by material of transgendered nature at times, but usually am not. The narrator has also evolved, triggering bouts of sudden uncharacteristic anger, while I am usually calm and cheerful. I sometimes find that my face is curling into a look of anger or contempt, or that I have sudden images of badly hurting people who do something I dislike, that may have been an acceptable thing to do, but for whatever reason I just feel foreign satisfaction in imagining pain.<br /><br />I began looking through myself, basically just trying to figure out what the hell is wrong, and the following are the results:<br /><br />At the age of six I had a crush on a girl in my primary school class, she left that year, for other reasons. This is the most definite starting point I can place for my tgism. then, at eleven, I had my second crush, on another classmate, and she walked up to me and told me to stay away from her shortly after the two friends I told this secret to went and told everyone. My theory is that my subconscious took these rejections, and the stereotypical views on geeks and indians, and sculpted from them the idea that I was so repulsive that the only way I could ever have a girl in my life was to be a girl, and so that shard of my gender identity broke away, and from this information I called that shard Lust. Lust doesn&#039;t seem to be as conscious as the narrator (who is now named Anger), though she has on two occasions exclaimed on how &#039;hot&#039; a guy was, though this may be because of nightly masturbation to the idea of being a girl, leading to lust already being expressed. Anger, however, is kept under lock and key, and so usually has a voice. There are other signs as well. I used to use electronic devices excessively, even when supposed to be sleeping, but I voluntarily stopped, and recently I&#039;ve started feeling tired after 11am, as if I hadn&#039;t gotten the sleep that I obviously did. Occasionally, when writing, my hand forms a squiggle instead of a letter, and my handwriting has deteriorated, and today when trying to write while holding the pen loosely, I could only make squiggles.<br /><br />There may be other voices, occasionally when playing a sport I become giddy, speaking without thinking, and really jumpy, and sometimes I hear a crowd, but that may be Anger messing with me.<br />There&#039;s a chance I am only imagining all of this, but I don&#039;t want to take that risk.<br />Help me please.';
		data[0]['blog_time'] = 'Thu, 19 Sep 2013 17:25:27 -0400';
		

		data[1] = new Array();
		data[1]['title'] = 'Please help. I feel like such a freak and I hate myself so much.';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/please_help._i_feel_like_such_a_freak_and_i_hate_myself_so_much._c-3_u-83711_b-2348.html';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/please_help._i_feel_like_such_a_freak_and_i_hate_myself_so_much._c-3_u-83711_b-2348.html';
		data[1]['username'] = 'Vexed111';
		data[1]['blog_id'] = '2348';
		data[1]['blog_message'] = 'I am a sixteen year old female who is sexually attracted to her own mother. I&#039;m incredibly ashamed of it and I have no idea why I feel this way. I don&#039;t find her attractive. And I&#039;ve actually had an absolutely horrible relationship with her ever since i was 13 and I cannot stand the woman. <br />Honestly, the relationship is so horrible. I have trouble hearing her voice without getting incredibly pissed off. But recently I&#039;ve been getting so angry, that I actually become turned on. Now, the littlest things she does that used to make me so angry, now turn me on. For example, the way she handles everything so delicately, how soft her voice is...ect. ect. <br /><br />I&#039;ve been feeling this way for about 6 months and its been progressively getting worse. Now I find it invading my thoughts, and being on my mind frequently.<br />I have struggled with OCD in the past... Obsessive thoughts about things such as incest and bestiality .. but I&#039;ve never had problems with obsessive thinking AND erotic feelings.<br /><br />Please. help. I&#039;ve attempted suicide because of this, and I haven&#039;t been able to bring myself to tell my therapist or psychiatrist.<br />I have looked on some forums saying that feeling sexually attracted to a family member is more common than people realize... which makes me feel a little bit better.<br /><br />But I would like to know why on earth do I feel this way? And how can I make it go away?';
		data[1]['blog_time'] = 'Fri, 16 Mar 2012 17:30:38 -0400';
		

		data[2] = new Array();
		data[2]['title'] = 'I can haz a blog?';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_can_haz_a_blog%CA%94_c-3_u-94420_b-3275.html';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_can_haz_a_blog%CA%94_c-3_u-94420_b-3275.html';
		data[2]['username'] = 'lbailey71';
		data[2]['blog_id'] = '3275';
		data[2]['blog_message'] = 'I am notoriously self absorbed, so the idea that others will be able to read what I right tickles me.  It more than tickles me, it gratifies me.  Right now I am struggling unsuccessfully with a gambling addiction.  It goes against the public persona that I have created for me to struggle this way, so I was actually thinking of setting up an alter account for my alter ego on a main blog site.  This will work just dandy.  Now I get to be my own dirty doppelganger and still be on the downlow with what a #######5 person I am.';
		data[2]['blog_time'] = 'Sat, 01 Sep 2012 01:45:36 -0400';
		

		data[3] = new Array();
		data[3]['title'] = 'Loving relationship has been destroyed by a PD, help required';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/loving_relationship_has_been_destroyed_by_a_pd_help_required_c-3_u-116128_b-3884.html';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/loving_relationship_has_been_destroyed_by_a_pd_help_required_c-3_u-116128_b-3884.html';
		data[3]['username'] = 'Devastated-husband';
		data[3]['blog_id'] = '3884';
		data[3]['blog_message'] = '*Trigger* This is a long story but I will try to be as brief as possible. I am very new to forums and anything I say is without judgement of any form of disorder, as I am all to aware of the impact it has on all parties and how the sufferer is impacted. Please do not take any offence as I&#039;m still trying to understand, accept and work with its far reaching concsecuences and would ask all posters to remain non-judgementa. Thank you.<br /><br />My wife and I have been in a relationship for 16years, married for 4 and have 3 year old Daughter together.<br /><br />Most of the revelations from the events of the past two months have made me realise that in hindsight my wonderful true love has suffered from more than the diagnosed general anxiety and depression that has been interwoven in our lives for all this time.<br /><br />Two months ago my mother in-law lost her on/off 10 year battle with cancer. We were all left devastated, but my wife who has always been considered the most emotional member of the family showed little grief, despite being greatly consumed for the entire decade of this fight.<br /><br />Two days after her passing, my wife had a memorial tattoo and immediately confessed she had fantasised over the artist and made sexual advances towards him. My wife has always despised adultery and we had talked openly about friends who had committed this most &quot;despicable&quot; of acts. My wife has also always been very timid around strangers, sexually unadventurous and incredibly attached to myself.  I put this down to the trauma and suggested that some form of therapy for her grief, along with open discussion would help and that I would support her all the way.<br /><br />The situation became worse on the day of her mothers funeral, as the following day she confessed she had been awake all night sending naked pictures of herself to men she had never met.  She made in her own words &quot; throw away &quot; comments that she would be better off dead, how a massive hole was consuming her and how she was unable to love anyone or inflict her &quot;issues&quot; on me anymore.  <br /><br />Her family although unaware of the full facts all agreed she should see her GP immediately, who subsequently referred her directly to A&amp;E.  The Doctors fortunately could see the full picture and my wife&#039;s reluctance to open up, or even admit she had a problem.  They talked to both her sister and I and after discussions at board level, generally agreed she suffered from a personality disorder and offered immediate therapy and support, this has sadly been refused and ignored by my wife.<br /><br />During this period our daughter was also suffering from pneumonia and my wife was unable to fully cope with this and embarked on offering herself for NSA sex via the Internet, sleeping with 6 unknown men (at least) in a period of weeks, all of the encounters potentially dangerous given the unknown quantity of the individuals and the environments the acts were taking place. <br /><br />My wife has always suffered from angry outbursts, issues of social acceptance, &#039;living in and blaming the past&#039;, fear of abandonment and an inabilty to focus on positive aspects of life.  Its also important to teveak that she was beaten by her father as a child, along with her sister and mother and her fathers family also had a history of sexual abuse, although my wife claims she was never assaulted in this manner.<br /><br />Whilst this has left me devastated and whilst an exact diagnosis is not possible without therapy and dialogue from my wife, I know the most caring and loving person I fell for all those years ago, now has some form of explanation as to why she feels like this, as do I for the roller coaster relationship we have experienced.<br /><br />As a footnote, not only does my wife not accept their is a problem with her actions or health, she has also started drinking heavily and vilifies me to anybody that she is able to convince, normally those who have infrequent contact with her or myself and are unaware of the full picture . These individuals are now validating...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/loving_relationship_has_been_destroyed_by_a_pd_help_required_c-3_u-116128_b-3884.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[3]['blog_time'] = 'Fri, 28 Dec 2012 17:59:48 -0500';
		

		data[4] = new Array();
		data[4]['title'] = 'My relationship with my therapist';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_relationship_with_my_therapist_c-3_u-435562_b-11460.html';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_relationship_with_my_therapist_c-3_u-435562_b-11460.html';
		data[4]['username'] = 'ChocoSara';
		data[4]['blog_id'] = '11460';
		data[4]['blog_message'] = 'Hi guys , <br />This is pretty awkward to me talking about anything related to therapy to anyone. I&#039;ve been seeing my therapist for a month now , we had 4 sessions and 3 walks so far. What i wanna talk about is how i can open up to him and not feel so stiff around him and end up regretting not saying all i want or any of it at all. He says we have a good relationship but it’s different for me. I feel really disconnected. I have so much to tell him but it always ends with me not saying what i REALLY wanna say , especially when we have a walk. There’s that thing i do when i feel &quot;bad&quot; , i pretend that i&#039;m telling him what i&#039;m feeling so i calm down. Maybe it’s the reason i have nothing left to say ? <br />The reason i&#039;m trying to find a way to be more open is that i feel forced by myself. I’m regretting everytime i see him and end up not saying what i feel at all , and i don’t wanna drop therapy. I really really need it. I had a really unpleasant event by the time of our 3rd session and it made me realize how lucky i am to have a therapist at all. I wanna start fresh and on good terms with him. I wanna trust him enough to be comfortable around him to make our process better and not feel pushed. And he’s just a nice person idk what’s wrong with me  <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" title="Neutral" /><br />I want to want to get better and not feel so forced by myself.';
		data[4]['blog_time'] = 'Thu, 28 Sep 2017 04:07:19 -0400';