var title = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed';
		var url = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html';
		var site_url = 'https://www.psychforums.com';
		var site_desc = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum';
		var time = 'Mon, 18 Aug 2025 11:42:19 -0400';

		var data = new Array();
		

		data[0] = new Array();
		data[0]['title'] = 'My first entry, thank you whoever reads this';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_first_entry_thank_you_whoever_reads_this_c-3_u-275674_b-7954.html';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_first_entry_thank_you_whoever_reads_this_c-3_u-275674_b-7954.html';
		data[0]['username'] = 'Joshykinsx';
		data[0]['blog_id'] = '7954';
		data[0]['blog_message'] = 'Hello dear reader, I&#039;ve recently discovered my disorders and wrote something a while ago in a blog. Sorry if it&#039;s too long but I can&#039;t really divide it into part, you may find it very boring but I want to thank you to whoever read the whole thing or even just looked at!<br /><br />Introduction, burning iceberg/frozen flame<br />I’m not very good at writing; in fact I suck pretty much at everything.<br /><br />I think of myself as a walking bag of issues. I’m a highly sensitive person, I have borderline personality disorder, social anxiety, I have little bit of OCD and ADD and I often think that I’m bipolar.<br /><br />I understand that everybody goes through some kind of stress in their lives and that other people might have bigger problems than me…honestly I don’t give a ###$, ###$ those people! ###$ people who judge ( I do that sometimes too but then I get punished at night by my over thinking habit), ###$ people who pretend to be nice, ###$ overconfident people, ###$ people who are shy, ###$ people that like politics, ###$ people that are into religion now that I think of it, ###$ everybody! Myself included!!<br /><br />I’m sorry I didn’t meant to offend anyone (maybe I did), so I have extreme mood swings(as you’ve already noticed), sometimes I wanna meet people but most of the times I hate people. It’s probably because of my social anxiety, every time I’m in public I feel like everybody’s staring at me, I always thought it was some teenage stuff and that it would eventually subside but it never truly did, in fact sometimes I feel like it’s gotten worse. Each pair of eyes feels like a burn and I start sweating and panicking and I keep telling myself “oh god why are people staring at me? Is it because I’m overweight? (at a time I was but even after I lost weight I felt the same way) is my hair messed up?” Sometimes I do feel ok when I’m in public, most of the time it’s when I’m drunk or in an extremely good mood, unfortunately both don’t last very long and don’t happen very often and sometimes are mutually exclusive.<br /><br />I feel like I’m the ugliest person in the world, the most weird too but at the same time I realize that I’m just an ordinary guy, nothing special at all. Other times I label myself very special because I’m pathetic and I want that pity but there’s just no one in my world that would ######6 understand me so I only have myself, which is just not enough but sometimes can be overwhelming. My biggest fear and my biggest enemy are both- myself. I tend to over think stuff, stuff that other healthy normal people don’t even care about, don’t notice. I like to analyze my day right before going to sleep, every ######6 time. Every time before going to sleep my brain’s like “Oh you wanna rest? ###$ that! Let’s go through all the ###$ up $#%^ that happened today. The mean stuff people said to you or you said to them.  The stupid awkward situations you put yourself or others to, about how it’s gonna haunt you for a couple of years until you do something more ###$ up, which is gonna happen pretty soon by the way.<br /><br />I always feel lonely and sometimes I just wish I had a girlfriend, actually every guy wants that…but then I remember what it’s like for me to be in a relationship with someone. It’s ######6 hell, both for me and for the unluckiest girl in the world who agreed to be in a relationship with me. Whenever I’m in a relationship (which is SUPER rare now) I tend to idealize (or even idolize) my partner and I cling very tightly to that person. Thinking she can understand me, support me and just always be there (which is literally ALWAYS) and of course eventually I get disappointed, always. Because I’m a selfish bastard, the very kind of people that I hate. It is part of the curse of having the borderline personality disorder, no one will ever be good enough for you and you’re never gonna be good enough for anyone as well. When people I’m really attached to stop messaging me or talking to me for whatever reasons (busy, not in the mood) I instantly take it the wrong wa...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_first_entry_thank_you_whoever_reads_this_c-3_u-275674_b-7954.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[0]['blog_time'] = 'Wed, 28 Jan 2015 02:43:02 -0500';
		

		data[1] = new Array();
		data[1]['title'] = 'The devil still lurks, so why not raise my meth dose??';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/the_devil_still_lurks_so_why_not_raise_my_meth_dose%CA%94%CA%94_c-3_u-82459_b-2235.html';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/the_devil_still_lurks_so_why_not_raise_my_meth_dose%CA%94%CA%94_c-3_u-82459_b-2235.html';
		data[1]['username'] = 'bookofwildthoughts';
		data[1]['blog_id'] = '2235';
		data[1]['blog_message'] = 'So 2 weeks have gone by already.  The 12 induction days are now over, what a relief ! I can still remember how I was living this, how days went by so slowly, with those 2 ‘girls’, those 2 bi*ches ‘rendering ‘ my life hell.  Today, while we were on our meth doctor’s rendez-vous or consultation, one of my ex-induction friends (i accept to employ the word ‘friend’ here, how kind of me!) was talking over to me and that conversation TOOK ME BACK TO THE DAYS! Yes, back to the 12 induction days when we were all together, ha! To cut this story short (since I’m not writing about this today, some other day maybe…), I’m just glad I made it out! I imagined two more days with these animals in that cacophonic jukebox, that cacophonic cage, and I would have hung myself out dry, shyiiit.  Believe it or not, I even made a rope out of my blanket, ready to be used… “Anytime!” I mumbled, without even shedding a tear, not even afraid of dying, well it was just for a few minutes, since that feeling quickly got out of me.<br /><br />So today, when I went over to my meth doctor on consultation, the latter asked me if all’s well, if I didn’t get any side effects from my methadone or if I encountered any craving during my first week out and if I’m happy with my current meth dose.  Well I told him the truth, nothing but the plain truth: every morning, I would wake up with my yawnings and running nose well, not as much as the time when I was addicted to heroin like back in the days LOL, but I’m not supposed to get any of this, not even an inch of all this ! My body was not on top mode, which is true as compared to the days when I was on induction.  Even if I didn’t sleep at that time, my bosy was not as torn as it is now; we had less physical activities, less thinking to do and most of all, no stress at all, no phone ringing, no email to check, no meeting, nothing!  As on my current life situation, when all’s back on other than the heroin cravings gone, I would have to, for instance, assist my parents in cleaning their yards, yes yards with an ‘s’.  The truth? Well, I prefer to stay at work premises rather than spend a day home when my parents are at home as well since there would always be somewhere to go, something to do, no rest at all.  And the days where we have nothing to do (meaning no cleaning or house chores), well, we would spend the days at the beach swimming and running on the beach.  And I’d be all cranked up the next day at work, body all messed up, cramps, etc…<br /><br />So I told all this to my meth doc and the latter just thought that was gibberish, from what I could conclude.   The first thing he would mention was that I didn’t do as much physical efforts in an office, forgetting the fact that office is a part of my life.  He said he would raise my daily meth dose but the question remains, since he didn’t write anything in front of me, and that’s quite discouraging.<br /><br />Because then, the devil would lurk around me and maybe at a later stage, push me back on the streets who knows?? I know very well that a higher meth dose (maybe a 5ml raise might do to start with) is not recommended.  Is it not better to be on a relatively higher meth dose than to hit back the streets ?<br /><br />Think about it !';
		data[1]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 21 Feb 2012 13:14:02 -0500';
		

		data[2] = new Array();
		data[2]['title'] = 'Art Therapy &amp; Addiction: As a Treatment For Substance Abuse';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/art_therapy_addiction_as_a_treatment_for_substance_abuse_c-3_u-102283_b-3709.html';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/art_therapy_addiction_as_a_treatment_for_substance_abuse_c-3_u-102283_b-3709.html';
		data[2]['username'] = 'mnlfoojan';
		data[2]['blog_id'] = '3709';
		data[2]['blog_message'] = 'Usually people who struggle with drug and alcohol abuse or other forms of addictive behaviors come from a background of abuse or neglect or have experienced some kind of trauma when they were younger. Being in these situations, a child and/or a young person can experience various painful feelings such as fear, helplessness, shame, guilt, sadness and eventually hopelessness. Becoming overwhelmed by these emotions and not having anybody to help them and validate their feelings may lead to them learning to run away and avoid such feelings to protect against pain or become consumed by those feelings and act upon them impulsively. Later in life, they may use substances or engage in addictive and destructive activities to numb those painful feelings. Despite their effort in avoiding these emotions, they are stored implicitly in a deeper level of the brain and will be triggered more often than they may have expected.<br /><br />These emotions that have been stored in a less conscious part of the brain may not be accessible verbally, but can be found symbolically in images that the person creates. Therefore, the goal of art therapy is to access these hidden and avoided emotions that once had the purpose of protecting the individual, but either have been denied or exaggerated and lost its purpose to rediscover their adaptive qualities.<br /><br />Images in an art therapy session can simply be composed of a few lines, colors or pictures from a magazine to more elaborate drawings, clay sculptures and other forms of creativity. These images will give an expert art therapist the opportunity to help the recovering person uncover meanings behind the symbolic images, discover more information about oneself than just talking and open many deep thoughts and emotions. Participants in art therapy don’t need to have any skills in art.<br /><br />Talking about feelings can be very frightening and painful for a person who has been avoiding them for a long time. This person may not even be able to verbally express him/herself, but may be able to express thoughts and feelings about past and present events and situations non=verbally through lines, shapes and pictures. Creating them can become a new form of communication which is less threatening and safer for the recovering person.<br /><br />Individuals struggling with addiction are usually very judgmental of themselves and are flooded with shame and guilt. Creating art can give them a tangible, concrete perception of their feelings and thoughts and give them the opportunity to observe themselves from a distance which can help them gain a new, less judgmental and more compassionate understanding of self.<br /><br />Recovering individuals may engage in a simple art project whenever they feel overwhelmed or have an urge to take drugs/alcohol or engage in an addictive activity to distract and sooth themselves. Creating can give them a sense of control over the situation and a tool to accept and manage overwhelming feelings. Using their hands while using art materials such as colored pencils, markers, crayons, clay, paper and scissors can help them release some of their avoided feelings such as anger and lower its intensity, and to sooth and calm themselves when they are anxious.<br /><br />In general, in art therapy sessions, the recovering person will be given permission and opportunity to experience and express those feelings that he/she has been running away from and avoiding for a long time in a safe and supporting atmosphere, with the presence of an empathic professional psychotherapist /art therapist who will help him/her understand and make sense of those painful feelings, acknowledge and accept them with compassion, reduce their intensity and tolerate them, and finally use them effectively to fulfill their needs and goals.';
		data[2]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 27 Nov 2012 02:30:45 -0500';
		

		data[3] = new Array();
		data[3]['title'] = 'eI hav a characted in my head, and he won't leave me alone.';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/ei_hav_a_characted_in_my_head_and_he_won%CA%B9t_leave_me_alone._c-3_u-282940_b-8262.html';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/ei_hav_a_characted_in_my_head_and_he_won%CA%B9t_leave_me_alone._c-3_u-282940_b-8262.html';
		data[3]['username'] = 'pennyfortheselfish';
		data[3]['blog_id'] = '8262';
		data[3]['blog_message'] = 'I am a 19 year old girl and I have this male character about my age in my head, he has a name and characteristics and personality and everything already thought out for him. He&#039;s not alone, he has a bunch of friends...also in my head. I switch mainly between him and me, his friends are all just there for some reason. <br /><br />When I was in middle school I was bullied and alone so I started &quot;creating friends&quot; to entertain me during lunches...now, everytime I find myself feeling lonely, they&#039;re automatically there. Sometimes they&#039;re there when I&#039;m hanging out with other (real) people but that doesn&#039;t happen too often. <br /><br />I started out thinking I have DID but now I&#039;m confused, I can tell him to leave and he will but then he comes back again. It&#039;s mostly him talking to me and giving me advice and helping me but sometimes I actually become him and I end up just sitting on my sofa, staring at the wall, or walking around my room living in this imaginary world in my head. Sometimes I end up making faces or using body language without realizing that I am. Sometimes when something happens to me (when I am him) that saddens &quot;him&quot;, I physically cry. Or I can feel pain (I don&#039;t know how to explain that). <br /><br />I often find myself isolating myself from friends and family just to be him in that world.<br /><br />I&#039;m just wondering if anyone else experiences this? What is this? I can&#039;t seem to put a word on it. Also, I have no idea why I&#039;m suddenly identifying with a male...<br /><br />I haven&#039;t seen any posts similar to this so if someone experiences this I would be really glad if they could share cause I am so confused all the time.<br /><br /><br /><br />- Penny';
		data[3]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 14 Apr 2015 18:26:27 -0400';
		

		data[4] = new Array();
		data[4]['title'] = 'I think I am Covert narcissists and a gifted';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html';
		data[4]['username'] = 'MarC0Sand0';
		data[4]['blog_id'] = '8642';
		data[4]['blog_message'] = 'Whole of my life I know that I am unique. Since I was 7 years old I can feel that I am always out of place from other children. I can&#039;t feel any deep connection. I was just always quiet and shy. <br />My situation at home is that I have a parents whose having an incredibly expectation from me since I was always in 1st section in the class. My mother is always spoiling me(also having codependency tendency), my father will never listen to anyone aside from himself and always having a rough words(narcissistic tendency) and I have a big brother who I think having autism with narcissistic personality disorder who is a big bully in my life that always abuse me physically and verbally.<br /><br />My brother abuse me a lot verbally(threatening, bullying, devaluing) almost everyday since I was 13 I already used silent treatment in our relationship till now that I was 20. Thanks a lot since he moved to other place now. <br /><br />When I was 16 and I am in college I went far away from home to study in university. This is the time that I can really conclude that I have something inside of me. I became so depressed, but I don&#039;t want to commit suicide. All of the characteristics of covert narcissists I did. <br /><br /><br /><br />___ I can become entirely absorbed in thinking about my personal affairs, my health, my cares or my relations to others.<br />___ My feelings are easily hurt by ridicule or the slighting remarks of others.<br />___ When I enter a room I often become self-conscious and feel that the eyes of others are upon me.<br />___ I dislike sharing the credit of an achievement with others.<br />___ I feel that I have enough on my hand without worrying about other people&#039;s troubles.<br />___ I feel that I am temperamentally different from most people.<br />___ I often interpret the remarks of others in a personal way.<br />___ I easily become wrapped up in my own interests and forget the existence of others.<br />___ I dislike being with a group unless I know that I am appreciated by at least one of those present.<br />___ I am secretly &quot;put out&quot; or annoyed when other people come to me with their troubles, asking me for their time and sympathy.<br />___ I am jealous of good-looking people.<br />___ I tend to feel humiliated when criticized.<br />___ I wonder why other people aren&#039;t more appreciative of my good qualities.<br />___ I tend to see other people as being either great or terrible.<br />___ I sometimes have fantasies about being violent without knowing why.<br />___ I am especially sensitive to success and failure.<br />___ I have problems that nobody else seems to understand.<br />___ I try to avoid rejection at all costs.<br />___ My secret thoughts, feelings, and actions would horrify some of my friends.<br />___ I tend to become involved in relationships in which I alternately adore and despise the other person.<br />___ Even when I am in a group of friends, I often feel very alone and uneasy.<br />___ I resent others who have what I lack.<br />___ Defeat or disappointment usually shame or anger me, but I try not to show it.<br /><br />Link to the above information: http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/23-signs-youe28099re-secretly-a-narcissist-masquerading-as-a-sensitive-introvert/<br /><br />I will admit. It&#039;s like reading my self. . .<br /><br /><br />last two months ago. While watching youtube I suddenly came up with &quot;How to know a secret narcissists&quot;. First I was just having fun but when I literally looked at it. That&#039;s me. So I researched it and found the questions above.<br /><br />Talking of being gifted. I&#039;m not just telling this since I am a narcissists &#039;cause I literally have evidences that I am a gifted. I take an online IQ test and I range in a gifted person. I also members musical bands, marching band, Rondalla(string instrument players) and I always excel and excellent in this area. I also always competing in chess competition and got 2nd place in national level. And a very good math thinker. I am not telling lies but it&#039;s up to you if you will. Since I am an ultimate pathological lair I might lying. <br /><br />But this is where I am confused since gifted and covert narcissists...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[4]['blog_time'] = 'Mon, 06 Jul 2015 21:31:54 -0400';