var title = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed';
		var url = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html';
		var site_url = 'https://www.psychforums.com';
		var site_desc = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum';
		var time = 'Tue, 05 Aug 2025 07:48:44 -0400';

		var data = new Array();
		

		data[0] = new Array();
		data[0]['title'] = 'My screwed mind - GID and DID';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_screwed_mind_gid_and_did_c-3_u-237822_b-5401.html';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_screwed_mind_gid_and_did_c-3_u-237822_b-5401.html';
		data[0]['username'] = 'omeganashik';
		data[0]['blog_id'] = '5401';
		data[0]['blog_message'] = 'At the age of eleven, five years ago, I recall calling a voice in my head the narrator, because he would refer to my life in third person, always negatively, constantly talking, and arguing with me, To this day. As far back as I can remember I have had a want to become female, purely for physical reasons, however, this need was intermittent, usually I had the standardly accepted gender identity, I even imagine being a father- not a parent or mother, a father- and now at sixteen my gender identity feels as if it has split into two, transgendered and &#039;normal,&#039; while I am now &#039;turned on&#039; by material of transgendered nature at times, but usually am not. The narrator has also evolved, triggering bouts of sudden uncharacteristic anger, while I am usually calm and cheerful. I sometimes find that my face is curling into a look of anger or contempt, or that I have sudden images of badly hurting people who do something I dislike, that may have been an acceptable thing to do, but for whatever reason I just feel foreign satisfaction in imagining pain.<br /><br />I began looking through myself, basically just trying to figure out what the hell is wrong, and the following are the results:<br /><br />At the age of six I had a crush on a girl in my primary school class, she left that year, for other reasons. This is the most definite starting point I can place for my tgism. then, at eleven, I had my second crush, on another classmate, and she walked up to me and told me to stay away from her shortly after the two friends I told this secret to went and told everyone. My theory is that my subconscious took these rejections, and the stereotypical views on geeks and indians, and sculpted from them the idea that I was so repulsive that the only way I could ever have a girl in my life was to be a girl, and so that shard of my gender identity broke away, and from this information I called that shard Lust. Lust doesn&#039;t seem to be as conscious as the narrator (who is now named Anger), though she has on two occasions exclaimed on how &#039;hot&#039; a guy was, though this may be because of nightly masturbation to the idea of being a girl, leading to lust already being expressed. Anger, however, is kept under lock and key, and so usually has a voice. There are other signs as well. I used to use electronic devices excessively, even when supposed to be sleeping, but I voluntarily stopped, and recently I&#039;ve started feeling tired after 11am, as if I hadn&#039;t gotten the sleep that I obviously did. Occasionally, when writing, my hand forms a squiggle instead of a letter, and my handwriting has deteriorated, and today when trying to write while holding the pen loosely, I could only make squiggles.<br /><br />There may be other voices, occasionally when playing a sport I become giddy, speaking without thinking, and really jumpy, and sometimes I hear a crowd, but that may be Anger messing with me.<br />There&#039;s a chance I am only imagining all of this, but I don&#039;t want to take that risk.<br />Help me please.';
		data[0]['blog_time'] = 'Thu, 19 Sep 2013 17:25:27 -0400';
		

		data[1] = new Array();
		data[1]['title'] = 'About me and how I need help psychologically...';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/about_me_and_how_i_need_help_psychologically..._c-3_u-82459_b-2233.html';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/about_me_and_how_i_need_help_psychologically..._c-3_u-82459_b-2233.html';
		data[1]['username'] = 'bookofwildthoughts';
		data[1]['blog_id'] = '2233';
		data[1]['blog_message'] = 'About me and how I need help psychologically...<br /><br />So this page is all about me, myself and my book of wild thoughts.  Obviously my name is not Bookof!! I’m intending to keep anonymity at least for now; that’s because I’m a bit ashamed of what I write! I did not even link it to my own personal Facebook profile, I preferred to create a different entity, and this is being applied onto all my self-owned social network profiles.  Besides, it’s in my constitutional rights to do so and if anybody’s got a problem with that, well…. Door’s open, please go !!<br /><br />So what is book of wild thoughts all about, I can hear you mumbling… As said above, this book is all about me and my personality and how I’m intending, with the help of all my readers, to achieve in linking them harmoniously.   There are other areas I’m looking forward to improve as well: my own English writing style, some books and stories I wanted to publish.  So this website is all about gathering enough courage in me to really do what I always wanted <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /> !!<br /><br />I’ll probably add some more text in the future for that’s all I feel like writing at the moment; my wife’s nearly finished with cooking dinner and it’s about time to wrap the napkin around the closet, oops sorry! I meant around the neck;<br /><br />Just to let you know how it took me days before I started to lay my hands on my own personal blog, I even threw up out of eating whatever came in, I think it’s the stress LOL ! I don’t know why such a reaction would occur to me, maybe I got too lazy to start working on it… So you can guess by now, or I can already hear you screaming, “How am I supposed to know that?? Ain’t you old enough to know it (oh, btw, how rude of me, I’m male, thirties, and married. Where were my manners!?) yourself why are you asking me??”<br /><br />So here we go: my answer is exactly your question, I don’t know myself enough and this has caused me (and is still causing me) tremendous trouble in whatever I do, whoever I lived with, in all what you can think of! This lack of personality, of self-esteem has brought me to where I am at present, a lousy web developer after 10 years in the field and writing this blog! Of course, I managed to get a nice girl to fall in love with, a little plot of land I managed to get on a good opportunity, but ‘all’ this achievement (LOL) seems so small as compared to the $#%^ I brought to my family, my wife and luckily no kids so far! Imagine the disaster, for my wife: 2 stubborn kids in the house!<br /><br />So many of my friends have excelled in the field, they took courage, had the balls still have, and grabbed life with firm hands to build their dreams and be happy with their life now.  It would have sounded so selfish if I had ended this sentence with “except me”!! I have a great family, wonderful parents whom I never blame for where I’m standing now, a wonderful wife who has accepted to bear me for three years now and a nice work atmosphere, what more could I want? What more would a man need to start flying on his own ship and start his business ‘happily ever after’ ??<br /><br />So all these lines of thought, these wild thoughts (I’ve got more, don’t worry!!) have led me to share my life and my own thoughts into a small book which I’ll update online of course, from time to time.  I’ll be pretty close with it, since I’m intending to use it anywhere I’ll be, using my mobile phone; yes, even when I’m taking a $#%^ !<br /><br />That’s because it’s better to be writing something than doing anything else #######5, how about that !?<br /><br />Thanks for reading my article down to here and hope I can get to read your comments very soon!';
		data[1]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:44:34 -0500';
		

		data[2] = new Array();
		data[2]['title'] = 'What should I do (urgent!)?';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/what_should_i_do_%28urgent%C7%83%29%CA%94_c-3_u-91117_b-3090.html';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/what_should_i_do_%28urgent%C7%83%29%CA%94_c-3_u-91117_b-3090.html';
		data[2]['username'] = 'IdaColeman';
		data[2]['blog_id'] = '3090';
		data[2]['blog_message'] = 'I&#039;ve been looking everywhere online for advice, and everyone I talk to says I should go to some sort of psychotherapy. I don&#039;t know about it, though.. I finally had the courage to tell my sister what&#039;s been going on - I&#039;ve been hallucinating, I can&#039;t sleep too well (3 hours a night is my current average), I get very nauseated whenever I eat so I&#039;ve lost a significant amount of weight. There&#039;s headaches, dizziness, fear (of nothing, really), anxiety, trembling, it&#039;s hard to breathe sometimes, too. I had a panic attack about two weeks ago, it lasted for maybe fifteen minutes. My dad says he used to have panic attacks, and I read somewhere that it&#039;s more likely for me if it runs in the family. I can&#039;t stand being alone because these hallucinations get worse when I am. I&#039;m also being cold(-hearted) lately towards my mom and sister. I feel very anxious -at night especially- and self harm calms me down. I started scratching my wrists and digging my nails into them. I don&#039;t want to do this, but it&#039;s become very addicting and even soothing. My sister wants me to see a psychiatrist, and put me on anti- depressants. What should I do about this? Please help.';
		data[2]['blog_time'] = 'Wed, 18 Jul 2012 14:33:04 -0400';
		

		data[3] = new Array();
		data[3]['title'] = 'I feel like its my fault because im not good enough';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_feel_like_its_my_fault_because_im_not_good_enough_c-3_u-269792_b-7698.html';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_feel_like_its_my_fault_because_im_not_good_enough_c-3_u-269792_b-7698.html';
		data[3]['username'] = 'rhianne-reneau';
		data[3]['blog_id'] = '7698';
		data[3]['blog_message'] = 'Okay so I caught my fiance using my email to find girls on Craigslist o guess to have sex with. I was just going through my email and happen to see it i know it wasnt me because that was the night he was using my phone while i stayed at my mom&#039;s house amd some of the things he was messaging to these girls was really upsetting I confronted him about it at first he insisted he didnt remember ever doing it Then he said he might have had a moment of weakness. Then he kept insisting on how We changed in a good way because while he did that he said he realized he loves me amd I&#039;m the only girl in his life and that he only wants me. And. What really bother me is that this happened not even a week after he proposed and altogether We been together almost three years and We have a baby on the way in less than two months. Before all this I would find porn on his phone Where he would watch it or download videos or pictures and it really makes me feel like crap. I mean I know I&#039;m nothing really to look at I put on thirty pounds while being pregnant and sometimes it&#039;s like he don&#039;t want to touch me like he is completely discusted by me and it&#039;s always like he wants some super skinny girl that he can wrap his arMs around and have sex with all night I mean We don&#039;t even have sex like We used to it seems like he is watching the TVs more than he is even looking at me I can&#039;t really lose weight right now being pregnant and all. I don&#039;t have the pretty face or the perky boobs that he wants I just wish I could magically change how I look completely. I Love him so much I would spend all the money in the world to be the completely sexy girl he wants. D&#039;:';
		data[3]['blog_time'] = 'Mon, 24 Nov 2014 23:58:15 -0500';
		

		data[4] = new Array();
		data[4]['title'] = 'What Now?';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/what_now%CA%94_c-3_u-258910_b-6958.html';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/what_now%CA%94_c-3_u-258910_b-6958.html';
		data[4]['username'] = 'shortsnorts';
		data[4]['blog_id'] = '6958';
		data[4]['blog_message'] = 'So, my step brother took the plea. What now? What happens next? I have been preparing for the worst, and now I&#039;m suppose to be happy? I don&#039;t understand.';
		data[4]['blog_time'] = 'Mon, 19 May 2014 19:19:31 -0400';