var title = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed';
		var url = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html';
		var site_url = 'https://www.psychforums.com';
		var site_desc = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum';
		var time = 'Thu, 07 Aug 2025 00:16:27 -0400';

		var data = new Array();
		

		data[0] = new Array();
		data[0]['title'] = 'Personality Disorder';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/personality_disorder_c-3_u-445630_b-12169.html';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/personality_disorder_c-3_u-445630_b-12169.html';
		data[0]['username'] = 'recklesswho';
		data[0]['blog_id'] = '12169';
		data[0]['blog_message'] = 'I don&#039;t know whats going on with me, its getting worse and im getting tired. Im a boy, 20 years old and  I can&#039;t remember as many details as I would like to remember about who and what I was before that &#039;something&#039; happened thats why I&#039;ll be vague with some things. If you think you may have and idea or have some information or a good advice on this please feel free to answer cause I&#039;m desperate.  <br />I&#039;ve been in and out of psychiatric institutions since high school and I&#039;ve been diagnosed multiple times by different doctors (Antisocial personality disorder, Borderline personality disorder, Anxiety, Depression, Schizophrenia Paranoid, Schizoaffective disorder, Bipolar not otherwise specified.) When I was younger I was pretty much in control of myself, some things with me were off but nothing that really bothered me, things like excessive boredom, intrusive thoughts, derealization and depersonalizations and not being able to not to fake every social interaction, a giant disgust for every human, an entertained mind with every mechanic answer, things people could just not see, I planned everything I said and everything I did, it was automatic, It was sorta exciting getting everything I wanted, I stole things like whole outfits in expensive clothes stores even though I had the money just because it was exciting and made me feel good, I abused all kinda of drugs and people in a way, I got sorta lost in the drug path, I started getting psychotic and I did a lot of crazy things like going out of town, not sleeping, spending weeks on the street, drugs, wild parties, sex with strangers,  but then a day I started to notice that I wasn&#039;t so sure of what I was doing, something that I think I never felt before, I was kinda lost, I was kinda alone and I didn&#039;t knew what was the next step to take, like if the part of me that was sure of everything and had everything sorted out disappeared, the drugs were getting down and I was so exhausted and desperate feeling that I couldn&#039;t go out for more, now i&#039;m clean except for weed (auto medication) I became aware of every little thing but didn&#039;t know how to deal with it or what was the importance of everything, I have a cloud in my mind and im not sure of anything I don&#039;t know how to explain it, its driving me crazy, I want to stab my face multiple times after I stab everyone else, I always thought that in a way (a proxemic way) I can read peoples minds but after this happened it was like their thoughts and expression became sharp and aggressive to me, and now its like they can hear my thoughts too in that way also, something happened to my nerves, I can&#039;t be relaxed, not in my house, not in my bed, not in my sleep, I just can&#039;t relax its like If I am possessed and my brain and inside my body its burning I have ricing and negative thoughts, i&#039;m angry and irritable to the core, to the point that if some one talks to me in that moment I snap and attack them with everything I have and I hurt myself cause I need it to stop now, it so much. Everyday I end up screaming and scratching my face because I don&#039;t quite get what im feeling  but it is a lot, I can&#039;t concentrate, I can&#039;t decide between stupid easy things, I feel guilty all the time, I can&#039;t organize my mind and put whats first first, that makes me angry as ###$,  I can&#039;t sleep well, I have panic attacks, night terrors, my stomach hurst and I need to throw up since I wake up, this are just some things that are happening, there are a lot more but I don&#039;t know what its important what its not, I also some times experience selective mutism when some one asks me what is happening because my brain does not know the answer or at least thats what I think. No one has been able to help me, not the doctors, not in the clinic , I don&#039;t trust anybody and im fearing that Im gonna have to kill myself because I won&#039;t live like this my whole life, and its not getting better, 2 years now, I feel hopeless.  Alexithymia and mixed bipolar episode are things that can describe...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/personality_disorder_c-3_u-445630_b-12169.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[0]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 12 Jun 2018 16:04:25 -0400';
		

		data[1] = new Array();
		data[1]['title'] = 'A little lost and confused, maybe used and abused';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/a_little_lost_and_confused_maybe_used_and_abused_c-3_u-316719_b-9353.html';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/a_little_lost_and_confused_maybe_used_and_abused_c-3_u-316719_b-9353.html';
		data[1]['username'] = 'Have1veryniceday';
		data[1]['blog_id'] = '9353';
		data[1]['blog_message'] = 'this is going to be my first post, i&#039;m not really sure where to start this post so i&#039;m going to jump right in, i have a been wondering lately whether i may suffer from borderline personality disorder, i have had this feeling for a long time that i am not quite right, i have this emptiness inside me, it feels like i am a camera stuck on live feed but no ones watching, i often feel like this regardless of whether i am content or unhappy.<br /><br />onto how i feel, sometimes i lie awake at night reliving the past day, i feel ups, downs, and sometimes a cold icy rage. i have little control over my thoughts and feelings at these times, or anytime really. i can maintain at times, but only for seconds before i&#039;m lost again. during the day when faced with interactions with people at work etc. i wear a mask that&#039;s all smile and charm, at times it feels more real than others. when like this i have little room for empathy or genuine care and affection, because one chink in my armour it could all come crumbling down. regardless of this, time, tiredness, stress and everyday interactions slowly erode it away. the harder i try to keep it on the worse the emotional comedown is. at home i can hide away in a book or hobby, at work i will feel like a zombie, just going through the motions, lost.<br /><br />i have always known that i have a very adaptable personality, it became more clear with a friend recently pointed out to me, that i completely change, interaction to interaction, almost instantly, depending who is around, effectively becoming a different person. i think i choose the path of least resistance, the easiest and the safest. at times it feels like i am just mirror, lost in someone elses reflection. my lack of self has made me easy to be manipulated and used for the benefit of others at times sadly.<br /><br />the people i allow myself to care about seem to effect me the most, i don&#039;t wear a mask with them, even if i wanted to i can&#039;t , this can result in myself becoming this mirror colored thing, for the most part i don&#039;t mind because we are happy, and i am more comfortable asserting myself, or the self i want to be,<br /><br />i think this has been a pretty long post, i will leave it here. if there are any questions i will be happy to answer them. thankyou';
		data[1]['blog_time'] = 'Fri, 11 Dec 2015 22:12:30 -0500';
		

		data[2] = new Array();
		data[2]['title'] = 'I can haz a blog?';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_can_haz_a_blog%CA%94_c-3_u-94420_b-3275.html';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_can_haz_a_blog%CA%94_c-3_u-94420_b-3275.html';
		data[2]['username'] = 'lbailey71';
		data[2]['blog_id'] = '3275';
		data[2]['blog_message'] = 'I am notoriously self absorbed, so the idea that others will be able to read what I right tickles me.  It more than tickles me, it gratifies me.  Right now I am struggling unsuccessfully with a gambling addiction.  It goes against the public persona that I have created for me to struggle this way, so I was actually thinking of setting up an alter account for my alter ego on a main blog site.  This will work just dandy.  Now I get to be my own dirty doppelganger and still be on the downlow with what a #######5 person I am.';
		data[2]['blog_time'] = 'Sat, 01 Sep 2012 01:45:36 -0400';
		

		data[3] = new Array();
		data[3]['title'] = 'I think I love someone I should'nt...?';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_love_someone_i_should%CA%B9nt...%CA%94_c-3_u-137603_b-4136.html';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_love_someone_i_should%CA%B9nt...%CA%94_c-3_u-137603_b-4136.html';
		data[3]['username'] = 'LookToTheNightSky';
		data[3]['blog_id'] = '4136';
		data[3]['blog_message'] = 'I&#039;m a teen girl and a bit confused. I&#039;ve looked up on this and read stories similar to mine but not exactly the same. As long as I have remembered I would get crushed on boys and even had a boyfriend not long ago. I remember having friends that were girls and loved being around them, especially if they had a great personality but that&#039;s all..when I got with my boyfriend, it was great at first and I knew I liked him because I always got butterflies around him and he always made me smile without even saying anything. At the same time I was gaining a best friend and we we&#039;re getting really close really fast. She became like a sister to me and I loved her, like a sister nothing else. Later on I began to loose interest in my boyfriend and was getting stressed out because I didn&#039;t want to hurt him and break up with him so I stood with him for almost a year but towards the end we didn&#039;t really talk and I was stressing out. My friend was there through it all, when I was stressing out because me and my bf weren&#039;t talking later that day she was the one making me laugh, smile, and feel happy again. Because of it I got the feeling of wanting to protect her as much as possible and promising her I&#039;d always be there for her like she is for me. She knew I wa having boyfriend problems because I didn&#039;t like him anymore yet we we&#039;re still together, she encouraged me to break up with him saying I&#039;d be better off without him. At school we acted like really close friends but outside of school either at volleyball practice at home she acted a bit different. She acted more silly when it was just us and always laughed at anything I did, be it I mess up or just being clumsy. soon I began getting tongue-tied talking to her because she kept eye contact the whole conversation, something I couldn&#039;t do. So I would look away for a second while we were talking and when I&#039;d look back she still would be watching me, trying to hide a smile which started giving me butterflies. these little feelings have been getting stronger &amp; I don&#039;t know what&#039;s happening. We promised each other we&#039;d be there for each other always, she&#039;s so close to me and my family and me with hers. At school I don&#039;t have any classes with her this year and try to be with her as much as possible, I just really love her company, even if it&#039;s less than 5 minutes. If I see her this force makes me call her, it literally feels like a physical force, and when I call her I see her turn and when she sees me she always smiles. Seeing her smile always makes me happy and when I&#039;m not with her I can&#039;t wait to see her. I&#039;m starting to miss her very easily and sort of get jealous when she&#039;s with her other friends, one in particular. When she&#039;s with that one particular friend and Im there it&#039;s like I don&#039;t exist yet later when she&#039;s gone Im the one she stays close by to, even if there&#039;s other people we talk to with us. I&#039;ve told her &quot;I love you&quot; and she actually said &quot;I love you too&quot; but it was at night when we were going to sleep, I wasn&#039;t sure if she actually meant it or she was half-asleep when she said it. Another thing is that when we sleep together in the middle of the night she always ends up cuddled next to me, her arm around me like she&#039;s hugging me, honestly It&#039;s something I look forward to whenever she spends the night, even if she is asleep when she does it. If I don&#039;t she her for a while I swear I get depressed. These feelings have just been getting stronger since I broke up with my bf. I still get crushes on guys yet she always manages to get stuck on my mind, I don&#039;t know whats going on....I feel like im in love with someone I shouldn&#039;t be in love with. Help?  <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" />';
		data[3]['blog_time'] = 'Thu, 07 Feb 2013 23:35:38 -0500';
		

		data[4] = new Array();
		data[4]['title'] = 'Food for thought.';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/food_for_thought._c-3_u-435395_b-11445.html';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/food_for_thought._c-3_u-435395_b-11445.html';
		data[4]['username'] = 'Velfang';
		data[4]['blog_id'] = '11445';
		data[4]['blog_message'] = 'How are mental diseases like ADHD even thought about? What are people thinking when they categorise someone in the ADHD category? Doesnt the society actually decide this? &quot;Okay, youre hyperactive, i bet you have ADHD&quot;. Im an indian and ive seen a lot of people who may have been suffering from ADHD according to the intn guidelines but they lead a normal life mostly. ADHD medication is basically a drug, amphetamine. So, enlighten me pls? Btw, i dont have ADHD. Its just food for thought.';
		data[4]['blog_time'] = 'Sun, 24 Sep 2017 14:04:37 -0400';