document.write('<div style="border: 1px solid #C5D7EF;"><h2 style="margin: 0px; padding: 2px; color: #3366CC; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 1.1em; font-weight: normal; background-color: #E5ECF9; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html">Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed</a></h2>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_12169\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_12169\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_12169\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/personality_disorder_c-3_u-445630_b-12169.html">Personality Disorder</a></div><div id="b_12169" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">I don&#039;t know whats going on with me, its getting worse and im getting tired. Im a boy, 20 years old and  I can&#039;t remember as many details as I would like to remember about who and what I was before that &#039;something&#039; happened thats why I&#039;ll be vague with some things. If you think you may have and idea or have some information or a good advice on this please feel free to answer cause I&#039;m desperate.  <br />I&#039;ve been in and out of psychiatric institutions since high school and I&#039;ve been diagnosed multiple times by different doctors (Antisocial personality disorder, Borderline personality disorder, Anxiety, Depression, Schizophrenia Paranoid, Schizoaffective disorder, Bipolar not otherwise specified.) When I was younger I was pretty much in control of myself, some things with me were off but nothing that really bothered me, things like excessive boredom, intrusive thoughts, derealization and depersonalizations and not being able to not to fake every social interaction, a giant disgust for every human, an entertained mind with every mechanic answer, things people could just not see, I planned everything I said and everything I did, it was automatic, It was sorta exciting getting everything I wanted, I stole things like whole outfits in expensive clothes stores even though I had the money just because it was exciting and made me feel good, I abused all kinda of drugs and people in a way, I got sorta lost in the drug path, I started getting psychotic and I did a lot of crazy things like going out of town, not sleeping, spending weeks on the street, drugs, wild parties, sex with strangers,  but then a day I started to notice that I wasn&#039;t so sure of what I was doing, something that I think I never felt before, I was kinda lost, I was kinda alone and I didn&#039;t knew what was the next step to take, like if the part of me that was sure of everything and had everything sorted out disappeared, the drugs were getting down and I was so exhausted and desperate feeling that I couldn&#039;t go out for more, now i&#039;m clean except for weed (auto medication) I became aware of every little thing but didn&#039;t know how to deal with it or what was the importance of everything, I have a cloud in my mind and im not sure of anything I don&#039;t know how to explain it, its driving me crazy, I want to stab my face multiple times after I stab everyone else, I always thought that in a way (a proxemic way) I can read peoples minds but after this happened it was like their thoughts and expression became sharp and aggressive to me, and now its like they can hear my thoughts too in that way also, something happened to my nerves, I can&#039;t be relaxed, not in my house, not in my bed, not in my sleep, I just can&#039;t relax its like If I am possessed and my brain and inside my body its burning I have ricing and negative thoughts, i&#039;m angry and irritable to the core, to the point that if some one talks to me in that moment I snap and attack them with everything I have and I hurt myself cause I need it to stop now, it so much. Everyday I end up screaming and scratching my face because I don&#039;t quite get what im feeling  but it is a lot, I can&#039;t concentrate, I can&#039;t decide between stupid easy things, I feel guilty all the time, I can&#039;t organize my mind and put whats first first, that makes me angry as ###$,  I can&#039;t sleep well, I have panic attacks, night terrors, my stomach hurst and I need to throw up since I wake up, this are just some things that are happening, there are a lot more but I don&#039;t know what its important what its not, I also some times experience selective mutism when some one asks me what is happening because my brain does not know the answer or at least thats what I think. No one has been able to help me, not the doctors, not in the clinic , I don&#039;t trust anybody and im fearing that Im gonna have to kill myself because I won&#039;t live like this my whole life, and its not getting better, 2 years now, I feel hopeless.  Alexithymia and mixed bipolar episode are things that can describe...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/personality_disorder_c-3_u-445630_b-12169.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a></div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_11982\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_11982\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_11982\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i%CA%B9m_worried_i_might_be_a_sociopath._please_help%CA%94_c-3_u-443587_b-11982.html">I'm worried I might be a sociopath. Please help?</a></div><div id="b_11982" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">I m worried that I might be a sociopath/psychopath. The main reason why I think this is because I was very mean to animals when I was kid. I don t know why I was, but I have been reading up on signs of sociopathy/psyhcopathy in children and this is one of the biggest signs. I never got in serious trouble as a kid like in school or anything. I never really had friends, I always stick to myself and would just swing by myself at recess. I started wanting to make friends in junior high though and wanting to fit in more. I just need help because I don t want to be a sociopath/psychopath. The idea of me being one makes me want to cry. I want to be normal person. However, I start to doubt myself and my emotions. Like, &quot;do I really feel this emotion or am I just making myself feel this to try to make myself think I m not a sociopath?&quot; I literally doubt every emotion I feel and every mistake I ve ever made, I connect it to me being a sociopath. Like I said, the main reason I think I am one is because I was cruel to animals as a child and this is a sign. I know I need to talk to a healthcare professional, but don t know if I can handle the truth. I m worried I ll get diagnosed a sociopath, I don t know if I can live with that. I just don t why I was the way I was as a child, that s what scares me. Any thoughts are appreciated.</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_7870\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_7870\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_7870\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_may_be_going_insane_c-3_u-273445_b-7870.html">I may be going insane</a></div><div id="b_7870" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">Thank you for your time<br />I am currently a male upperclassmen in high school. My grades are... For lack of a more accurate word bad, I have about a 2.0 cumulative. I used to want to be a 2d animator you know like cartoons. When I think about it that goal it is as far as can be from my reach. About a year and 4 months ago I saw this girl who is now the only thing I think about, I talk to her In very small conversations daily, she is the only reason I even want to go to school when I&#039;m in class I zone out and just think about her I would do anything, everything, and more to make her smile. I go home from school too depressed that I&#039;m not more to her than just someone to talk to for ten-twenty minutes and forget my homework and just think about her, cry for a few hours. Then my mother gets home and it&#039;s time for me to fake a smile and make sure she never worries about me. I usually talk to friends on skype which surprisingly takes my mind off of her a little bit, then nighttime comes and I&#039;m back in bed crying,shaking, tired but too scared of how bad my depression may get if I don&#039;t keep working for her I&#039;ve even caught myself whispering her name and talking about how much I love her when I&#039;m in this state. So I&#039;m trapped in this cycle, I ignore school and think of her then I remember she&#039;s the one and only thing I would ever work for and my grades just keep dropping. The one funny thing, nobody knows I have this problem, I seem so mentally stable, and I have plenty of friends, I&#039;m only lonely because i avoid talking to people sometimes so I can just lay in bed and think about her. I had brought this problem to a different site and I was banned within a day (I must&#039;ve swore or something) and I felt like nobody could help me, i have 3 ways I think of my life going, either I end up with this girl that I would be as loyal as a dog too, I somehow manage to pursue my dream of being an animator, or I don&#039;t end up with her and my depression takes over, and It scares me so much. Please just give me feedback, I need this help I feel empty.</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_6972\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_6972\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_6972\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/stepmother_desire_c-3_u-259763_b-6972.html">stepmother desire</a></div><div id="b_6972" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">Ok, so I&#039;m pretty sure there is something wrong with me. I have had this feeling toward my stepmother since I could remember. Like a desire. I know it&#039;s wrong, it&#039;s not right because she is married to my father and she is my stepmother. My father cheated on her and I just wanted to tell her so bad how I felt about her, and how much she deserved better but they got back together. My father married her without telling her he had a vasectomy. And all these years later she really wants a kid, I wish I could help her have a kid... <br />   I am 21 years old, and I moved back into their house about a year ago because my roommate moved out of state and left the bills all on me. I go into their room sometimes when they go to work and I smell her freshly worn panties, and masturbate to them. I found a box of her toys(dildos) and I masturbated to them and licked them. I also found their sex tape and watched it so I could see what she looks like naked. Sometimes when my dad leaves to go to work, I hear her getting into the shower and I fantasize going in there and joining her, or going into the room and waiting on her to get out. <br />   I have control enough to never do anything to crazy, but what should I do? Should I just get help, or tell her what I have done/ how I feel, or nothing? Please don&#039;t comment how sick I am, and how I need to find god.. I know I am sick, I just can&#039;t control myself sometimes.</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_8685\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_8685\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_8685\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_just_want_to_have_successful_sex_c-3_u-292788_b-8685.html">I Just Want to have Successful Sex</a></div><div id="b_8685" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em;">My Fiance won&#039;t stop masturbating.  We&#039;ve been together for a year and a half.  In that time, we&#039;ve had sex at least twice a week, average.  And he has been able to finish only a handful of times.  I have begged him to stop.  Tried to explain to him how awful I feel when I can&#039;t make him finish.  Nothing works.  Today, we had a big fight about it.  Because he told me, yet again, he hasn&#039;t stopped.  He tried to compare the fact that I cannot finish during sex to him not being able to.  He makes me finish every time we attempt to have sex, it isn&#039;t vaginally but it still makes us both feel good.  He was mad at me for not having the ability to finish while he is inside me.  Something I can&#039;t help, something out of my control.  He thinks that is the same despite the fact that this wouldn&#039;t even be an issue if he would just stop masturbating.  Claims that if I can&#039;t, its okay that he doesn&#039;t even though it makes me feel awful knowing he is just going to do it later.  We are getting married, planning our life together.  What if we can&#039;t have children because we can&#039;t have sex?  What if we end up resenting each other because of this?  Am I wrong or crazy to think that something has to be done?</div>');
		
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