var title = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed';
		var url = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3_sid-17368abd44074a93c684f7553b8841a4.html';
		var site_url = 'https://www.psychforums.com';
		var site_desc = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum';
		var time = 'Thu, 14 Aug 2025 21:45:53 -0400';

		var data = new Array();
		

		data[0] = new Array();
		data[0]['title'] = 'I may be going insane';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_may_be_going_insane_c-3_u-273445_b-7870_sid-17368abd44074a93c684f7553b8841a4.html';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_may_be_going_insane_c-3_u-273445_b-7870_sid-17368abd44074a93c684f7553b8841a4.html';
		data[0]['username'] = 'Rednation';
		data[0]['blog_id'] = '7870';
		data[0]['blog_message'] = 'Thank you for your time<br />I am currently a male upperclassmen in high school. My grades are... For lack of a more accurate word bad, I have about a 2.0 cumulative. I used to want to be a 2d animator you know like cartoons. When I think about it that goal it is as far as can be from my reach. About a year and 4 months ago I saw this girl who is now the only thing I think about, I talk to her In very small conversations daily, she is the only reason I even want to go to school when I&#039;m in class I zone out and just think about her I would do anything, everything, and more to make her smile. I go home from school too depressed that I&#039;m not more to her than just someone to talk to for ten-twenty minutes and forget my homework and just think about her, cry for a few hours. Then my mother gets home and it&#039;s time for me to fake a smile and make sure she never worries about me. I usually talk to friends on skype which surprisingly takes my mind off of her a little bit, then nighttime comes and I&#039;m back in bed crying,shaking, tired but too scared of how bad my depression may get if I don&#039;t keep working for her I&#039;ve even caught myself whispering her name and talking about how much I love her when I&#039;m in this state. So I&#039;m trapped in this cycle, I ignore school and think of her then I remember she&#039;s the one and only thing I would ever work for and my grades just keep dropping. The one funny thing, nobody knows I have this problem, I seem so mentally stable, and I have plenty of friends, I&#039;m only lonely because i avoid talking to people sometimes so I can just lay in bed and think about her. I had brought this problem to a different site and I was banned within a day (I must&#039;ve swore or something) and I felt like nobody could help me, i have 3 ways I think of my life going, either I end up with this girl that I would be as loyal as a dog too, I somehow manage to pursue my dream of being an animator, or I don&#039;t end up with her and my depression takes over, and It scares me so much. Please just give me feedback, I need this help I feel empty.';
		data[0]['blog_time'] = 'Wed, 07 Jan 2015 02:50:11 -0500';
		

		data[1] = new Array();
		data[1]['title'] = 'My first entry, thank you whoever reads this';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_first_entry_thank_you_whoever_reads_this_c-3_u-275674_b-7954_sid-17368abd44074a93c684f7553b8841a4.html';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_first_entry_thank_you_whoever_reads_this_c-3_u-275674_b-7954_sid-17368abd44074a93c684f7553b8841a4.html';
		data[1]['username'] = 'Joshykinsx';
		data[1]['blog_id'] = '7954';
		data[1]['blog_message'] = 'Hello dear reader, I&#039;ve recently discovered my disorders and wrote something a while ago in a blog. Sorry if it&#039;s too long but I can&#039;t really divide it into part, you may find it very boring but I want to thank you to whoever read the whole thing or even just looked at!<br /><br />Introduction, burning iceberg/frozen flame<br />I’m not very good at writing; in fact I suck pretty much at everything.<br /><br />I think of myself as a walking bag of issues. I’m a highly sensitive person, I have borderline personality disorder, social anxiety, I have little bit of OCD and ADD and I often think that I’m bipolar.<br /><br />I understand that everybody goes through some kind of stress in their lives and that other people might have bigger problems than me…honestly I don’t give a ###$, ###$ those people! ###$ people who judge ( I do that sometimes too but then I get punished at night by my over thinking habit), ###$ people who pretend to be nice, ###$ overconfident people, ###$ people who are shy, ###$ people that like politics, ###$ people that are into religion now that I think of it, ###$ everybody! Myself included!!<br /><br />I’m sorry I didn’t meant to offend anyone (maybe I did), so I have extreme mood swings(as you’ve already noticed), sometimes I wanna meet people but most of the times I hate people. It’s probably because of my social anxiety, every time I’m in public I feel like everybody’s staring at me, I always thought it was some teenage stuff and that it would eventually subside but it never truly did, in fact sometimes I feel like it’s gotten worse. Each pair of eyes feels like a burn and I start sweating and panicking and I keep telling myself “oh god why are people staring at me? Is it because I’m overweight? (at a time I was but even after I lost weight I felt the same way) is my hair messed up?” Sometimes I do feel ok when I’m in public, most of the time it’s when I’m drunk or in an extremely good mood, unfortunately both don’t last very long and don’t happen very often and sometimes are mutually exclusive.<br /><br />I feel like I’m the ugliest person in the world, the most weird too but at the same time I realize that I’m just an ordinary guy, nothing special at all. Other times I label myself very special because I’m pathetic and I want that pity but there’s just no one in my world that would ######6 understand me so I only have myself, which is just not enough but sometimes can be overwhelming. My biggest fear and my biggest enemy are both- myself. I tend to over think stuff, stuff that other healthy normal people don’t even care about, don’t notice. I like to analyze my day right before going to sleep, every ######6 time. Every time before going to sleep my brain’s like “Oh you wanna rest? ###$ that! Let’s go through all the ###$ up $#%^ that happened today. The mean stuff people said to you or you said to them.  The stupid awkward situations you put yourself or others to, about how it’s gonna haunt you for a couple of years until you do something more ###$ up, which is gonna happen pretty soon by the way.<br /><br />I always feel lonely and sometimes I just wish I had a girlfriend, actually every guy wants that…but then I remember what it’s like for me to be in a relationship with someone. It’s ######6 hell, both for me and for the unluckiest girl in the world who agreed to be in a relationship with me. Whenever I’m in a relationship (which is SUPER rare now) I tend to idealize (or even idolize) my partner and I cling very tightly to that person. Thinking she can understand me, support me and just always be there (which is literally ALWAYS) and of course eventually I get disappointed, always. Because I’m a selfish bastard, the very kind of people that I hate. It is part of the curse of having the borderline personality disorder, no one will ever be good enough for you and you’re never gonna be good enough for anyone as well. When people I’m really attached to stop messaging me or talking to me for whatever reasons (busy, not in the mood) I instantly take it the wrong wa...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_first_entry_thank_you_whoever_reads_this_c-3_u-275674_b-7954_sid-17368abd44074a93c684f7553b8841a4.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[1]['blog_time'] = 'Wed, 28 Jan 2015 02:43:02 -0500';
		

		data[2] = new Array();
		data[2]['title'] = 'About me and how I need help psychologically...';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/about_me_and_how_i_need_help_psychologically..._c-3_u-82459_b-2233_sid-17368abd44074a93c684f7553b8841a4.html';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/about_me_and_how_i_need_help_psychologically..._c-3_u-82459_b-2233_sid-17368abd44074a93c684f7553b8841a4.html';
		data[2]['username'] = 'bookofwildthoughts';
		data[2]['blog_id'] = '2233';
		data[2]['blog_message'] = 'About me and how I need help psychologically...<br /><br />So this page is all about me, myself and my book of wild thoughts.  Obviously my name is not Bookof!! I’m intending to keep anonymity at least for now; that’s because I’m a bit ashamed of what I write! I did not even link it to my own personal Facebook profile, I preferred to create a different entity, and this is being applied onto all my self-owned social network profiles.  Besides, it’s in my constitutional rights to do so and if anybody’s got a problem with that, well…. Door’s open, please go !!<br /><br />So what is book of wild thoughts all about, I can hear you mumbling… As said above, this book is all about me and my personality and how I’m intending, with the help of all my readers, to achieve in linking them harmoniously.   There are other areas I’m looking forward to improve as well: my own English writing style, some books and stories I wanted to publish.  So this website is all about gathering enough courage in me to really do what I always wanted <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /> !!<br /><br />I’ll probably add some more text in the future for that’s all I feel like writing at the moment; my wife’s nearly finished with cooking dinner and it’s about time to wrap the napkin around the closet, oops sorry! I meant around the neck;<br /><br />Just to let you know how it took me days before I started to lay my hands on my own personal blog, I even threw up out of eating whatever came in, I think it’s the stress LOL ! I don’t know why such a reaction would occur to me, maybe I got too lazy to start working on it… So you can guess by now, or I can already hear you screaming, “How am I supposed to know that?? Ain’t you old enough to know it (oh, btw, how rude of me, I’m male, thirties, and married. Where were my manners!?) yourself why are you asking me??”<br /><br />So here we go: my answer is exactly your question, I don’t know myself enough and this has caused me (and is still causing me) tremendous trouble in whatever I do, whoever I lived with, in all what you can think of! This lack of personality, of self-esteem has brought me to where I am at present, a lousy web developer after 10 years in the field and writing this blog! Of course, I managed to get a nice girl to fall in love with, a little plot of land I managed to get on a good opportunity, but ‘all’ this achievement (LOL) seems so small as compared to the $#%^ I brought to my family, my wife and luckily no kids so far! Imagine the disaster, for my wife: 2 stubborn kids in the house!<br /><br />So many of my friends have excelled in the field, they took courage, had the balls still have, and grabbed life with firm hands to build their dreams and be happy with their life now.  It would have sounded so selfish if I had ended this sentence with “except me”!! I have a great family, wonderful parents whom I never blame for where I’m standing now, a wonderful wife who has accepted to bear me for three years now and a nice work atmosphere, what more could I want? What more would a man need to start flying on his own ship and start his business ‘happily ever after’ ??<br /><br />So all these lines of thought, these wild thoughts (I’ve got more, don’t worry!!) have led me to share my life and my own thoughts into a small book which I’ll update online of course, from time to time.  I’ll be pretty close with it, since I’m intending to use it anywhere I’ll be, using my mobile phone; yes, even when I’m taking a $#%^ !<br /><br />That’s because it’s better to be writing something than doing anything else #######5, how about that !?<br /><br />Thanks for reading my article down to here and hope I can get to read your comments very soon!';
		data[2]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:44:34 -0500';
		

		data[3] = new Array();
		data[3]['title'] = 'My thoughts and your thoughts on me';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_thoughts_and_your_thoughts_on_me_c-3_u-337763_b-9817_sid-17368abd44074a93c684f7553b8841a4.html';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_thoughts_and_your_thoughts_on_me_c-3_u-337763_b-9817_sid-17368abd44074a93c684f7553b8841a4.html';
		data[3]['username'] = 'psychlois';
		data[3]['blog_id'] = '9817';
		data[3]['blog_message'] = 'So i&#039;ve never written a post ever on any forum, ever, and since things have changed for me recently, i&#039;d  decide to give this a go. Might not come back to this but i want to get whats in my head out there and see if anyone has anything to say about me and my problems.<br />My problems: I care about my family too much. I&#039;m almost certain that I have depression, mild anxiety and a myriad of other mental health problems but I&#039;ve never been properly diagnosed because I care about my family too much to have them worry about me at all. I also come from a culture where mental health is not a &#039;real&#039; problem, but rather a thing for the weak or the bored.<br />I think about death a lot BUT i&#039;m not suicidal. I&#039;m fine with death and i&#039;m not scared of it but I would never be able to go through with it as long as my parents are alive because I can&#039;t put them through all that pain. If they died though, I would have not much of a reason to keep going, but that is not the point of this post. <br />I&#039;ve always been very aware of my issues and i&#039;ve always been able to talk myself down in my head like there was a third person that tells the two conflicting voices in my head what to do. This third voice sounds like a trusty friend, insightful parent, or even a advising counsellor, when i think about it. This voice knows what people views as normal and suppresses my arguing voices to make me seem &#039;normal&#039;. It usually takes effort but I know it works because everyone thinks I&#039;m still this smiley, happy girl, which really hasn&#039;t been the case since about 7 years ago (when my first encounter of death in the family happened)<br />My dog (who&#039;s been with me for almost 15 years) died yesterday and I was sad but it wasn&#039;t a fearful, regretful sadness. It was more of a &quot;i&#039;ll miss you&quot; and &quot;we&#039;ve spent good time together&quot; happy sadness, though it was really sudden and shocking. I still miss him but I don&#039;t think I&#039;m doing too bad. My parents on the other hand haven&#039;t been able to sleep, eat, not spontaneously cry, and not talk about morbidity every couple of hours. They also hug me a lot because they think its comforting for me, and probably themselves too.<br />I guess what I&#039;m saying is that is it weird that I&#039;m so aware of what I&#039;m almost sure I have? Does this mean I don&#039;t have these mental health issues because it doesn&#039;t really affect my daily life and I know what triggers it, how to control it, and what works/doesn&#039;t work? Do other people with mental health issues experience this too? <br />An analogy (if you&#039;re still reading): I deal with my problems like dealing with my period. When it starts, I know what I can do to not let it leak out for the world to see. I know what the best way to deal with the dirty pad/tampon is, to chuck it out (feeling all my feelings/non-feelings but in a physical location where no one will see me then throw them out or at least leave them where they can&#039;t be seen). I clean up after myself and flush the bloody mess away (make sure no one can physically see or pick out that I have problems at any point of any time)<br />What do you think?';
		data[3]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 05 Apr 2016 15:24:51 -0400';
		

		data[4] = new Array();
		data[4]['title'] = 'Am i getting over my OCD or is it getting worse?';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/am_i_getting_over_my_ocd_or_is_it_getting_worse%CA%94_c-3_u-157601_b-4356_sid-17368abd44074a93c684f7553b8841a4.html';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/am_i_getting_over_my_ocd_or_is_it_getting_worse%CA%94_c-3_u-157601_b-4356_sid-17368abd44074a93c684f7553b8841a4.html';
		data[4]['username'] = 'Archer808';
		data[4]['blog_id'] = '4356';
		data[4]['blog_message'] = 'Im really looking for help, just insight from people who have been through this tough and stressful road... (Cant afford, to see a therapist at the moment, insurance doesn&#039;t cover lol) <br />21, young.. <br />I love people... I would give my last dollar to someone who says they need it. <br />Have trouble keeping a job, but getting one is easy as cake, I just get bored real quick..<br /><br />Now that we&#039;ve been introduced, <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><br /><br />For a few years now I&#039;ve been struggling with panic attacks and high stress...at first it was just that id get dizzy and start panicking, and my heart would feel like I was just lifting a fridge. ha<br /><br />But as the years progressed I started looking up things like schizophrenia, and ADD and OCD, and for about a year and a half now my obsession with being scizo has consumed me... what sucks is that I developed a mean phobia of people doing things to my food.. I was afraid someone had done something to things prepared for me if it be in a dinner or already packaged food.. I would come home and think, what if someone broke in and tampered with the food my mom made.. Or if the delivery guy was late, did he do something to the food... I stopped eating mushrooms (because of the fear that I may eat a magic shroom lol ) I lost alot of weight because of this...lol Which would bring me to the conclusion ( and i know self diagnosing myself is bad) but that i may be scizo...<br /><br />Well I started attacking my fears head on, and began eating again, anything, and everything... Things got better.. and worse. I still get the occasional panic attack but my mind is now consumed by other thoughts regarding me being scizo for other reasons now...<br /><br />My mind is stuck on the what if idea that one day I snap and kill someone, or hurt someone i love.. My attention has been targeted to one person, (for a small period of time) then sometimes just anyone.. i started to push myself away from sharp objects and such.. STOPPED that early. ( i knew that once i went down that road id be screwed with more weight to carry.)<br /><br />I also read that if you loose emotion towards these ideas, and instead of fearing them you become excited, or question what if you might just enjoy murder, that you may be deranged. So I (being the hypochondriac that I am) started to question this as well.. I get these weird and obsessive thoughts but now I try to laugh bout it and keep moving but i cant tell if im just getting better or tricking myself and just getting worse....<br /><br />I also adopt symptoms as i read them, like i read that someone with scizo will have difficulty speaking or writing, or doing certain things, or they may hear noises or see things, so I began finding myself watching myself, (and almost forcibly) started having difficulty with speaking, or seeing things out the corners of my eyes, or hearing things around my house... I feel great when i write or talk about it, i just want to know if anyone is on the same boat as me. Am i crazy, is this normal OCD, or am I wierder than i think lol. I can get a job, I have no difficulty getting woman, Im kind of a metro sexual so i take a little to much care of myself, I like to talk, i can get along with anyone..Im just so lost rite about now, I want out of this fear, and what feels like limbo!!!<br /><br />What scares me the most out of all of this is that i know how to write well, and speak well, maybe my grammar is horrific on this little yahoo answers piece, but when i really want to throw down i can... And thats what scares me, am i sane, and just obsessing over being crazy or just crazy pretending to sane...?<br /><br />please leave a line, much love <br />Richie';
		data[4]['blog_time'] = 'Sat, 16 Mar 2013 17:34:21 -0400';