var title = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed';
		var url = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html';
		var site_url = 'https://www.psychforums.com';
		var site_desc = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum';
		var time = 'Sun, 07 Sep 2025 21:58:21 -0400';

		var data = new Array();
		

		data[0] = new Array();
		data[0]['title'] = 'I feel like nothing...';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_feel_like_nothing..._c-3_u-402724_b-10936.html';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_feel_like_nothing..._c-3_u-402724_b-10936.html';
		data[0]['username'] = 'reoww25';
		data[0]['blog_id'] = '10936';
		data[0]['blog_message'] = 'My boyfriend has been in this really bad place for the past couple of weeks. He says that he doesn&#039;t feel like himself (or act like himself) &amp; that he feels like &#039;nothing&#039;. He&#039;s saying that he doesn&#039;t feel like a friend or a boyfriend. And that he feels nothing towards our relationship, even though he loves me like crazy. He just feels nothing towards everything right now.<br /><br />Because of this he wants us to take a break from our relationship so he can focus on himself and getting better. He wants to do it alone.<br /><br />I am really worried about him. I can&#039;t just leave him to battle this on his own when i&#039;m the only one that knows he&#039;s in this bad place. <br /><br />Even though we are on a break I really want to be there for him and help him. I just don&#039;t know how...';
		data[0]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 28 Mar 2017 21:10:19 -0400';
		

		data[1] = new Array();
		data[1]['title'] = 'My Best Friends Step dad harasses me and him';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_best_friends_step_dad_harasses_me_and_him_c-3_u-311565_b-9238.html';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_best_friends_step_dad_harasses_me_and_him_c-3_u-311565_b-9238.html';
		data[1]['username'] = '339737';
		data[1]['blog_id'] = '9238';
		data[1]['blog_message'] = 'This all started about a year and a half ago. I was spending the night at my best friends house for the first time and i got a little warm so i was changing into a tank top and while i had my shirt off his step dad came into the room. i saw him give me a strange glare and walk away. i hadn&#039;t thought anything of it for about seven months. Then after noticing that we weren&#039;t hanging at his house at all anymore i started wondering. so one day after school i went over to his house. his mom let me in and we talked until he got home. Throughout the this whole time his step dad has blocked my number on their home phone, tried convincing the homeowners community not to allow me to walk on his street, he&#039;s banned me from his property, and his son can no longer come over to my house at all anymore. Ive overheard his dad call me a few very unflattering names. and his mom has called my parents a complete waste of time. I&#039;m wondering what options i have either to file a suit against him or how i can get him to understand what he has done over the years.';
		data[1]['blog_time'] = 'Fri, 13 Nov 2015 21:58:13 -0500';
		

		data[2] = new Array();
		data[2]['title'] = 'Feeling Suicidal the Closer Trial is Coming';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/feeling_suicidal_the_closer_trial_is_coming_c-3_u-258910_b-6886.html';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/feeling_suicidal_the_closer_trial_is_coming_c-3_u-258910_b-6886.html';
		data[2]['username'] = 'shortsnorts';
		data[2]['blog_id'] = '6886';
		data[2]['blog_message'] = 'I was doing pretty well for a while. My coping skill was eating(more of a mechanism) and it was helping me a lot. Now, I can&#039;t even stomach anything. The closer the trial is getting, the more my depression is hitting me. It feels like I can&#039;t distract anymore. I can&#039;t even look at anything with a razor any more. I feel so sick. Some one please help me.';
		data[2]['blog_time'] = 'Sat, 10 May 2014 14:22:13 -0400';
		

		data[3] = new Array();
		data[3]['title'] = 'Running Out of Options, Time to Try Catharsis';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/running_out_of_options_time_to_try_catharsis_c-3_u-248903_b-5872.html';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/running_out_of_options_time_to_try_catharsis_c-3_u-248903_b-5872.html';
		data[3]['username'] = 'ThanatosRising';
		data[3]['blog_id'] = '5872';
		data[3]['blog_message'] = 'I was diagnosed with PTSD after a car accident in 2010 (age 25), and was shocked when repressed memories from the past started surfacing without warning. Along with the scenes from the car accident replaying without end, images of an abusive relationship I had been in for three years started playing, a sexual assault by a boyfriend at 19 that I blocked out, a rape I had experienced at age 18 that I COMPLETELY blocked out, emotional and mental abuse from age 11 at the hand of a boyfriend of my mother&#039;s, and various bullying events I had sustained from around age 8 through 14. It was entirely overwhelming; for about two months after the accident I spent most of every day in bed, having nightmares when sleeping, waking up screaming thinking whatever I was dreaming about was happening, then having no perception of time when I was awake, being continually trapped in recurring flashbacks that seemed to last for hours when they were really just 10-15 minutes. I sustained serious lumbar spine and nerve injuries that required heavy medication (50mcg fentanyl patches every 3 days, 200mg neurontin daily for nerve pain, 10mg klonopin for panic attacks, 30-50mg oxycodone daily for breakthrough pain, 100-200 mg orphenadrine daily for muscle spasm and opiate potentiation). I could barely muster the energy to get out of bed to go to the bathroom and shower because of the pain, so I stopped eating, lost nearly 25 pounds within a few weeks (I am a 5&#039;5&quot; female and was an active and relatively muscle-toned 130 lbs., so I became underweight and lost a majority of my muscle tone), so coworkers I ran into once when I had to go to my office to sign some insurance paperwork started rumors I was abusing drugs due to my frail and noticeably gaunt appearance. I withdrew almost entirely from my social circle with the exception of a few friends who were so worried abouy my sudden changes they forced me to keep in contact with them. After nearly two full years of weekly psychotherapy, many hurdles, setbacks,  tears, angry and violent outbursts, losing my job, and weaning off all the pain medication, I finally got my PTSD symptoms under control in 2012. During this time I was also pursuing my undergraduate degree in psychology, which obviously delayed my studies as I dealt with my illness and injuries. Since then, I have had a very exaggerated startle response that never went away (loud noises or someone approaching me from behind seriously frightens me, causing an immediate panic response). I&#039;ve had difficulty with controlling or moderating anger, and sometimes respond angrily way out of proportion to the irritant or situation. Social anxiety that I always had got somewhat worse, and depression has been a nearly constant battle also. However, I was able to find a new, better job, and maintain my GPA at 3.85.<br /><br />Things were going relatively smoothly until this October, where I suddenly experienced a PTSD retriggering event. I did not consciously recognize or want to acknowledge it at first, instead convincing myself that the eerily familiar feelings were just imaginations and nothing serious, until it suddenly dawned on me one day what was happening, about three weeks after the initial retrigger. I began addressing it with my psychologist and the psychiatrist I started seeing right before the retrigger for my depression that was getting out of control in the summer. It just caught me so off guard and has made me feel so powerless again. I keep thinking that no matter how far I get in time from these events, no matter how well I do, these horrible feelings are going to arise at any time and ruin my happiness. I feel that I never truly have felt happiness, and that now I may never know what it is like. It&#039;s caused me such horrible thoughts, the suicidal thoughts, the thoughts of giving up on everything, the thoughts of withdrawing into myself, the paranoia that everyone can see through me and thinks I&#039;m pathetic and weak for not being able to just get over it....<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/running_out_of_options_time_to_try_catharsis_c-3_u-248903_b-5872.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[3]['blog_time'] = 'Wed, 20 Nov 2013 09:22:08 -0500';
		

		data[4] = new Array();
		data[4]['title'] = 'Cutting away the ugly part of me...';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/cutting_away_the_ugly_part_of_me..._c-3_u-87678_b-4008.html';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/cutting_away_the_ugly_part_of_me..._c-3_u-87678_b-4008.html';
		data[4]['username'] = 'cfit60';
		data[4]['blog_id'] = '4008';
		data[4]['blog_message'] = 'Hello, I&#039;m a cutter...<br /><br />Why do I cut?  What turned me into a self hater who scars his body and often wants to die?<br /><br />I&#039;m a 44 year old man who has seen his world fall apart two years ago.  I was seriously injured on the job to the point of full disability.  I can no longer do the job I lived to do, which was Police work.  Add to that the fact that I suffer horrific pain everyday due to my back injury.  I have crushed a total of 9 discs in my upper, middle and lower back and have to use a cane to walk.<br /><br />Not only do I have permanent nerve damage, but as a result I lost function of my bladder and need to urinate with a catheter and a leg bag.  I have had several surgeries to include a two level cervical fusion, an interstim implant for my bladder and a Morphine drug pump implant. Despite these surgeries, the Morphine pump and oral pain meds I am still in a great deal of pain all day and night; awake and sleeping.  I still have a few more surgeries I must endure in the next year. This physical pain alone is one reason why I cut myself. <br /><br />Since I don&#039;t have any control of the constant pain related to my back injury I at least have control over the pain I endure when I cut myself.  I don&#039;t scratch myself...when I cut I cut deep and I have scars over 70% of my body.  I often cut out of anger or frustration, because I lost my passion for life when I lost my career as a Police Officer.  It&#039;s extremely difficult to go from being physically able to chase bad guys, make arrests and help others to someone who can barely walk and is in constant pain.  <br /><br />Over the past two years I have gone from a mentally confident and competent person to a mental basket case.  Now I must say that prior to my career ending injury I suffered from PTSD and bouts of depression related to my Police experiences while employed by NYPD during 9-11 and survivor&#039;s guilt.  Also, growing up I would from time to time cut myself. Oh yeah and when I was 13 years old I slit my wrist and OD on medication in an attempt to end my life.  It was really tough covering up the huge ass scar on my wrist, especially while applying for work as a Police Officer.  I don&#039;t regret the scar, I regret the fact that I lived.  Looking back I guess there have been many times where I was in harms way and could of, should have died, but didn&#039;t.  This happened more often of course during my Ten years of Police work.  Looking back now I can honestly say that I wanted to be a Police Officer so I could die. Had you asked me while I was still working as a Police Officer I would have said it was so I could help people and save lives.<br /><br />Anyways, I now suffer from a whole host of mental disorders, such as Major Depressive Disorder, BiPolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD and a couple of other disorders that escape me at this time.  I&#039;m taking a handful of medication daily in the hopes of controlling my mental and physical pain.<br /><br />It&#039;s not working, I can&#039;t sleep and the urges to cut keep getting stronger.  I also envision me cutting my own throat with a knife. I can be sitting on the couch watching a TV show and out of no where I see it...I see the knife in my hand held to my throat.  I wonder, is this how I am supposed to die?  I always hoped it would be via lead poison ( aka a bullet).  No matter, I keep cutting and my wife sees the cuts and scars and naturally freaks out.  I&#039;m putting her through hell and that just adds to my anxiety and frustration that often boils over and results in even more cutting!  I wish I could post pictures so you can see my scars and know that this is for real.  I&#039;m living a nightmare and I&#039;m ashamed of myself for being so weak. Two years ago I was a decent role model for other Officers and the community I lived to protect and serve.  Now...now I am suicidal and spend most of my time at home, in pain and alone.  <br /><br />The urges are becoming too great and I&#039;m fast losing any control. My cuts are becoming deeper and deeper.  How can I cut out the ugly side of me when...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/cutting_away_the_ugly_part_of_me..._c-3_u-87678_b-4008.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[4]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 15 Jan 2013 22:33:57 -0500';