document.write('<div style="border: 1px solid #C5D7EF;"><h2 style="margin: 0px; padding: 2px; color: #3366CC; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 1.1em; font-weight: normal; background-color: #E5ECF9; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html">Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed</a></h2>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_9817\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_9817\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_9817\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_thoughts_and_your_thoughts_on_me_c-3_u-337763_b-9817.html">My thoughts and your thoughts on me</a></div><div id="b_9817" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">So i&#039;ve never written a post ever on any forum, ever, and since things have changed for me recently, i&#039;d  decide to give this a go. Might not come back to this but i want to get whats in my head out there and see if anyone has anything to say about me and my problems.<br />My problems: I care about my family too much. I&#039;m almost certain that I have depression, mild anxiety and a myriad of other mental health problems but I&#039;ve never been properly diagnosed because I care about my family too much to have them worry about me at all. I also come from a culture where mental health is not a &#039;real&#039; problem, but rather a thing for the weak or the bored.<br />I think about death a lot BUT i&#039;m not suicidal. I&#039;m fine with death and i&#039;m not scared of it but I would never be able to go through with it as long as my parents are alive because I can&#039;t put them through all that pain. If they died though, I would have not much of a reason to keep going, but that is not the point of this post. <br />I&#039;ve always been very aware of my issues and i&#039;ve always been able to talk myself down in my head like there was a third person that tells the two conflicting voices in my head what to do. This third voice sounds like a trusty friend, insightful parent, or even a advising counsellor, when i think about it. This voice knows what people views as normal and suppresses my arguing voices to make me seem &#039;normal&#039;. It usually takes effort but I know it works because everyone thinks I&#039;m still this smiley, happy girl, which really hasn&#039;t been the case since about 7 years ago (when my first encounter of death in the family happened)<br />My dog (who&#039;s been with me for almost 15 years) died yesterday and I was sad but it wasn&#039;t a fearful, regretful sadness. It was more of a &quot;i&#039;ll miss you&quot; and &quot;we&#039;ve spent good time together&quot; happy sadness, though it was really sudden and shocking. I still miss him but I don&#039;t think I&#039;m doing too bad. My parents on the other hand haven&#039;t been able to sleep, eat, not spontaneously cry, and not talk about morbidity every couple of hours. They also hug me a lot because they think its comforting for me, and probably themselves too.<br />I guess what I&#039;m saying is that is it weird that I&#039;m so aware of what I&#039;m almost sure I have? Does this mean I don&#039;t have these mental health issues because it doesn&#039;t really affect my daily life and I know what triggers it, how to control it, and what works/doesn&#039;t work? Do other people with mental health issues experience this too? <br />An analogy (if you&#039;re still reading): I deal with my problems like dealing with my period. When it starts, I know what I can do to not let it leak out for the world to see. I know what the best way to deal with the dirty pad/tampon is, to chuck it out (feeling all my feelings/non-feelings but in a physical location where no one will see me then throw them out or at least leave them where they can&#039;t be seen). I clean up after myself and flush the bloody mess away (make sure no one can physically see or pick out that I have problems at any point of any time)<br />What do you think?</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_2348\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_2348\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_2348\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/please_help._i_feel_like_such_a_freak_and_i_hate_myself_so_much._c-3_u-83711_b-2348.html">Please help. I feel like such a freak and I hate myself so much.</a></div><div id="b_2348" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">I am a sixteen year old female who is sexually attracted to her own mother. I&#039;m incredibly ashamed of it and I have no idea why I feel this way. I don&#039;t find her attractive. And I&#039;ve actually had an absolutely horrible relationship with her ever since i was 13 and I cannot stand the woman. <br />Honestly, the relationship is so horrible. I have trouble hearing her voice without getting incredibly pissed off. But recently I&#039;ve been getting so angry, that I actually become turned on. Now, the littlest things she does that used to make me so angry, now turn me on. For example, the way she handles everything so delicately, how soft her voice is...ect. ect. <br /><br />I&#039;ve been feeling this way for about 6 months and its been progressively getting worse. Now I find it invading my thoughts, and being on my mind frequently.<br />I have struggled with OCD in the past... Obsessive thoughts about things such as incest and bestiality .. but I&#039;ve never had problems with obsessive thinking AND erotic feelings.<br /><br />Please. help. I&#039;ve attempted suicide because of this, and I haven&#039;t been able to bring myself to tell my therapist or psychiatrist.<br />I have looked on some forums saying that feeling sexually attracted to a family member is more common than people realize... which makes me feel a little bit better.<br /><br />But I would like to know why on earth do I feel this way? And how can I make it go away?</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_5767\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_5767\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_5767\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_don%CA%B9t_know_what_to_do_anymore._c-3_u-248158_b-5767.html">I don't know what to do anymore.</a></div><div id="b_5767" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">So for my first post, Im just going to do this as a journal I guess. I don&#039;t know.<br /><br />So basically, Im a teen. Please don&#039;t even ATTEMPT to judge me because I&#039;ve been through so much already and I am going to lose it.<br /><br />I feel so sad, hopeless, and SO angry all the time and I don&#039;t get why certain things happen to me. I mean, I was never a bad person. I don&#039;t know why I deserve all this at such a young age and I&#039;m so depressed and It&#039;s so UNFAIR.<br /><br />I hate me, I hate everyone, I hate the world. I hate everything. I never wanted to feel this way. I never EVER did. And now I do, and everything freaking sucks.<br /><br />My family thinks I&#039;m emo and my friends think I&#039;m outgoing and happy and I&#039;m going to lose it. I can&#039;t be who I really am because I&#039;m so afraid of being judged and I hate it so much.<br /><br />I spend most of the time in the bathroom breaking down to the point where I have to cover my mouth to make myself quiet. <br /><br />I&#039;m a TEEN.<br /><br />I never wanted to be like this AT ALL. I wanted to worry about my looks, my studies, and pop stars such as One Direction or Justin Bieber or something but NO. Life will not permit it and IT&#039;S UNFAIR.<br /><br />I want to be normal and so many bad experiences happened to me at such a young age and I&#039;m trying my best to BE happy but I can&#039;t and I don&#039;t know why.<br /><br />Instead of being HAPPY I&#039;m depressed, hopeless, angry and I HATE IT SO MUCH.<br /><br />I don&#039;t know what to do. I don&#039;t see any future of mine. I want to die but I don&#039;t and I really don&#039;t know what to do anymore and I&#039;m sick of it!<br /><br />I want to have dreams and I want to have crushes but I don&#039;t and as I said so many times,<br /><br />IT&#039;S SO FREAKING UNFAIR.<br /><br />I&#039;m too young and all these experiences and troubles in family, friends, school, and life is just piling and piling. <br /><br />I thought that maybe, this was a phase or something but I&#039;ve always been this way ever since I was young and I&#039;ve only realized it this year.<br /><br />I&#039;ve always been quiet and emo. Even in school, but I changed myself because there were people who teased me so, in a snap, after one summer, wow, I was happy on the outside. People used to say that I was really quiet and I always looked like I was mad and I just realized that I was just really sad. And now that developed into depression. I know you think I&#039;m lying since I&#039;m too young but we&#039;re all different here and we go through different things and I just had to go through many things at a young age.<br /><br />I&#039;m really tired. I really am. I tried everything. I even self harm. I have scars from razors and my parents think it&#039;s something I got from my dad called Keloid wherein you just get tiny scratches and they turn to look like scars and I agreed so they won&#039;t be suspicious. But after awhile, they did of course, so I started to cut elsewhere other than my wrist. <br /><br />Anyways, other than that rather disturbing paragraph, I just want help.<br /><br />I don&#039;t want to be some depressed teenager with anxiety. I hate always being jumpy, nervous and I want to be NORMAL.<br /><br />So. If anyone reads this. Please help me before this gets worse. I&#039;m really tired of feeling this way and I don&#039;t think I can hold my sadness and anger in any longer. I just want to scream at the world that I&#039;m upset and lost and to help me but I can&#039;t. I have no one to talk to. No one I trust.<br /><br />But I know there are people out there who will understand and that&#039;s why I am here now. I don&#039;t like thinking of suicide or anything. I really don&#039;t. And I want it to stop. So if anyone can PLEASE help me, just... HELP ME. <br /><br />Please, I&#039;m begging you. I&#039;m so desperate and I just really need someone to be there for me right now.</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_10180\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_10180\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_10180\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_unfriended_my_depressed_friend._c-3_u-360950_b-10180.html">I unfriended my depressed friend.</a></div><div id="b_10180" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">I unfriended my depressed friend. She was very demanding and refused to accept criticisms, but she tried to be a friend, and that&#039;s what makes me feel guilty. She has depression and anxiety, but I&#039;m not the kind of person who&#039;s patient and understanding enough to deal with someone who gets angry at constructive criticisms and isn&#039;t willing to help herself. She asked me if I only befriended her out of pity, and I said &quot;yeah a little&quot; because I&#039;m a very straightforward person and I&#039;m not a very &quot;empathetic&quot; person per say, and yes that&#039;s a horrible thing to say, but I wanted out of the friendship that made me so anxious and unhappy all the time. Our friendship lasted for about 2 years, which was rather long considering that I only befriended her out of pity. It ended unhappily, with her telling me that I was selfish, but I know I couldn&#039;t put up a fake front anymore and I feel more liberated than sorry. Can someone tell me if what I did was right? Ending the friendship? I wanted to be a more understanding friend as well and attempted to make it last, but she really made me lose my head, any advice on that?</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_6871\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_6871\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_6871\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/is_my_mom_sick%CA%94_c-3_u-258910_b-6871.html">Is my Mom Sick?</a></div><div id="b_6871" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em;">I have been wondering this for a while now. Ever since I was little, my Mom tried to fit in with her boy friend&#039;s life style. The guy could have been a raging alchoholic, who was a complete ass(most of them were) and she would stay with him, no matter what. Last year, I told my mom that my step brother had been sexually abusing me for a little over two years. When I told her, she at first seemed shocked and had called him in the room with my step dad. They kicked him out of the house for two days; during those two days, my mom didn&#039;t talk to me, yet alone speak to me. She began making me feel guilty for getting in trouble, and even tried bribing with my graduation dress for my 8th grade ceremony. I eventually gave in, and they moved him back in. I was forced to live with him for six months, until I ran away to my dad&#039;s house. The thing that I have had trouble coping with is how she could have just turned away from me. It hurts so much. I would have maybe understood if she was a dad, since they don&#039;t really go through the pregnancy and the pain mothers feel. I have just have had the hardest time grasping how my mom could have just left me like that. She told I could tell her anything. Why would she have done that? I&#039;d like to assume she just has some mental illness that she had never told me about, but maybe she just didn&#039;t care what happened to me.</div>');
		
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