var title = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed';
		var url = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html';
		var site_url = 'https://www.psychforums.com';
		var site_desc = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum';
		var time = 'Thu, 28 Aug 2025 08:15:02 -0400';

		var data = new Array();
		

		data[0] = new Array();
		data[0]['title'] = 'Loving relationship has been destroyed by a PD, help required';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/loving_relationship_has_been_destroyed_by_a_pd_help_required_c-3_u-116128_b-3884.html';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/loving_relationship_has_been_destroyed_by_a_pd_help_required_c-3_u-116128_b-3884.html';
		data[0]['username'] = 'Devastated-husband';
		data[0]['blog_id'] = '3884';
		data[0]['blog_message'] = '*Trigger* This is a long story but I will try to be as brief as possible. I am very new to forums and anything I say is without judgement of any form of disorder, as I am all to aware of the impact it has on all parties and how the sufferer is impacted. Please do not take any offence as I&#039;m still trying to understand, accept and work with its far reaching concsecuences and would ask all posters to remain non-judgementa. Thank you.<br /><br />My wife and I have been in a relationship for 16years, married for 4 and have 3 year old Daughter together.<br /><br />Most of the revelations from the events of the past two months have made me realise that in hindsight my wonderful true love has suffered from more than the diagnosed general anxiety and depression that has been interwoven in our lives for all this time.<br /><br />Two months ago my mother in-law lost her on/off 10 year battle with cancer. We were all left devastated, but my wife who has always been considered the most emotional member of the family showed little grief, despite being greatly consumed for the entire decade of this fight.<br /><br />Two days after her passing, my wife had a memorial tattoo and immediately confessed she had fantasised over the artist and made sexual advances towards him. My wife has always despised adultery and we had talked openly about friends who had committed this most &quot;despicable&quot; of acts. My wife has also always been very timid around strangers, sexually unadventurous and incredibly attached to myself.  I put this down to the trauma and suggested that some form of therapy for her grief, along with open discussion would help and that I would support her all the way.<br /><br />The situation became worse on the day of her mothers funeral, as the following day she confessed she had been awake all night sending naked pictures of herself to men she had never met.  She made in her own words &quot; throw away &quot; comments that she would be better off dead, how a massive hole was consuming her and how she was unable to love anyone or inflict her &quot;issues&quot; on me anymore.  <br /><br />Her family although unaware of the full facts all agreed she should see her GP immediately, who subsequently referred her directly to A&amp;E.  The Doctors fortunately could see the full picture and my wife&#039;s reluctance to open up, or even admit she had a problem.  They talked to both her sister and I and after discussions at board level, generally agreed she suffered from a personality disorder and offered immediate therapy and support, this has sadly been refused and ignored by my wife.<br /><br />During this period our daughter was also suffering from pneumonia and my wife was unable to fully cope with this and embarked on offering herself for NSA sex via the Internet, sleeping with 6 unknown men (at least) in a period of weeks, all of the encounters potentially dangerous given the unknown quantity of the individuals and the environments the acts were taking place. <br /><br />My wife has always suffered from angry outbursts, issues of social acceptance, &#039;living in and blaming the past&#039;, fear of abandonment and an inabilty to focus on positive aspects of life.  Its also important to teveak that she was beaten by her father as a child, along with her sister and mother and her fathers family also had a history of sexual abuse, although my wife claims she was never assaulted in this manner.<br /><br />Whilst this has left me devastated and whilst an exact diagnosis is not possible without therapy and dialogue from my wife, I know the most caring and loving person I fell for all those years ago, now has some form of explanation as to why she feels like this, as do I for the roller coaster relationship we have experienced.<br /><br />As a footnote, not only does my wife not accept their is a problem with her actions or health, she has also started drinking heavily and vilifies me to anybody that she is able to convince, normally those who have infrequent contact with her or myself and are unaware of the full picture . These individuals are now validating...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/loving_relationship_has_been_destroyed_by_a_pd_help_required_c-3_u-116128_b-3884.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[0]['blog_time'] = 'Fri, 28 Dec 2012 17:59:48 -0500';
		

		data[1] = new Array();
		data[1]['title'] = 'I think I am Covert narcissists and a gifted';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html';
		data[1]['username'] = 'MarC0Sand0';
		data[1]['blog_id'] = '8642';
		data[1]['blog_message'] = 'Whole of my life I know that I am unique. Since I was 7 years old I can feel that I am always out of place from other children. I can&#039;t feel any deep connection. I was just always quiet and shy. <br />My situation at home is that I have a parents whose having an incredibly expectation from me since I was always in 1st section in the class. My mother is always spoiling me(also having codependency tendency), my father will never listen to anyone aside from himself and always having a rough words(narcissistic tendency) and I have a big brother who I think having autism with narcissistic personality disorder who is a big bully in my life that always abuse me physically and verbally.<br /><br />My brother abuse me a lot verbally(threatening, bullying, devaluing) almost everyday since I was 13 I already used silent treatment in our relationship till now that I was 20. Thanks a lot since he moved to other place now. <br /><br />When I was 16 and I am in college I went far away from home to study in university. This is the time that I can really conclude that I have something inside of me. I became so depressed, but I don&#039;t want to commit suicide. All of the characteristics of covert narcissists I did. <br /><br /><br /><br />___ I can become entirely absorbed in thinking about my personal affairs, my health, my cares or my relations to others.<br />___ My feelings are easily hurt by ridicule or the slighting remarks of others.<br />___ When I enter a room I often become self-conscious and feel that the eyes of others are upon me.<br />___ I dislike sharing the credit of an achievement with others.<br />___ I feel that I have enough on my hand without worrying about other people&#039;s troubles.<br />___ I feel that I am temperamentally different from most people.<br />___ I often interpret the remarks of others in a personal way.<br />___ I easily become wrapped up in my own interests and forget the existence of others.<br />___ I dislike being with a group unless I know that I am appreciated by at least one of those present.<br />___ I am secretly &quot;put out&quot; or annoyed when other people come to me with their troubles, asking me for their time and sympathy.<br />___ I am jealous of good-looking people.<br />___ I tend to feel humiliated when criticized.<br />___ I wonder why other people aren&#039;t more appreciative of my good qualities.<br />___ I tend to see other people as being either great or terrible.<br />___ I sometimes have fantasies about being violent without knowing why.<br />___ I am especially sensitive to success and failure.<br />___ I have problems that nobody else seems to understand.<br />___ I try to avoid rejection at all costs.<br />___ My secret thoughts, feelings, and actions would horrify some of my friends.<br />___ I tend to become involved in relationships in which I alternately adore and despise the other person.<br />___ Even when I am in a group of friends, I often feel very alone and uneasy.<br />___ I resent others who have what I lack.<br />___ Defeat or disappointment usually shame or anger me, but I try not to show it.<br /><br />Link to the above information: http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/23-signs-youe28099re-secretly-a-narcissist-masquerading-as-a-sensitive-introvert/<br /><br />I will admit. It&#039;s like reading my self. . .<br /><br /><br />last two months ago. While watching youtube I suddenly came up with &quot;How to know a secret narcissists&quot;. First I was just having fun but when I literally looked at it. That&#039;s me. So I researched it and found the questions above.<br /><br />Talking of being gifted. I&#039;m not just telling this since I am a narcissists &#039;cause I literally have evidences that I am a gifted. I take an online IQ test and I range in a gifted person. I also members musical bands, marching band, Rondalla(string instrument players) and I always excel and excellent in this area. I also always competing in chess competition and got 2nd place in national level. And a very good math thinker. I am not telling lies but it&#039;s up to you if you will. Since I am an ultimate pathological lair I might lying. <br /><br />But this is where I am confused since gifted and covert narcissists...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[1]['blog_time'] = 'Mon, 06 Jul 2015 21:31:54 -0400';
		

		data[2] = new Array();
		data[2]['title'] = 'Cutting away the ugly part of me...';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/cutting_away_the_ugly_part_of_me..._c-3_u-87678_b-4008.html';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/cutting_away_the_ugly_part_of_me..._c-3_u-87678_b-4008.html';
		data[2]['username'] = 'cfit60';
		data[2]['blog_id'] = '4008';
		data[2]['blog_message'] = 'Hello, I&#039;m a cutter...<br /><br />Why do I cut?  What turned me into a self hater who scars his body and often wants to die?<br /><br />I&#039;m a 44 year old man who has seen his world fall apart two years ago.  I was seriously injured on the job to the point of full disability.  I can no longer do the job I lived to do, which was Police work.  Add to that the fact that I suffer horrific pain everyday due to my back injury.  I have crushed a total of 9 discs in my upper, middle and lower back and have to use a cane to walk.<br /><br />Not only do I have permanent nerve damage, but as a result I lost function of my bladder and need to urinate with a catheter and a leg bag.  I have had several surgeries to include a two level cervical fusion, an interstim implant for my bladder and a Morphine drug pump implant. Despite these surgeries, the Morphine pump and oral pain meds I am still in a great deal of pain all day and night; awake and sleeping.  I still have a few more surgeries I must endure in the next year. This physical pain alone is one reason why I cut myself. <br /><br />Since I don&#039;t have any control of the constant pain related to my back injury I at least have control over the pain I endure when I cut myself.  I don&#039;t scratch myself...when I cut I cut deep and I have scars over 70% of my body.  I often cut out of anger or frustration, because I lost my passion for life when I lost my career as a Police Officer.  It&#039;s extremely difficult to go from being physically able to chase bad guys, make arrests and help others to someone who can barely walk and is in constant pain.  <br /><br />Over the past two years I have gone from a mentally confident and competent person to a mental basket case.  Now I must say that prior to my career ending injury I suffered from PTSD and bouts of depression related to my Police experiences while employed by NYPD during 9-11 and survivor&#039;s guilt.  Also, growing up I would from time to time cut myself. Oh yeah and when I was 13 years old I slit my wrist and OD on medication in an attempt to end my life.  It was really tough covering up the huge ass scar on my wrist, especially while applying for work as a Police Officer.  I don&#039;t regret the scar, I regret the fact that I lived.  Looking back I guess there have been many times where I was in harms way and could of, should have died, but didn&#039;t.  This happened more often of course during my Ten years of Police work.  Looking back now I can honestly say that I wanted to be a Police Officer so I could die. Had you asked me while I was still working as a Police Officer I would have said it was so I could help people and save lives.<br /><br />Anyways, I now suffer from a whole host of mental disorders, such as Major Depressive Disorder, BiPolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD and a couple of other disorders that escape me at this time.  I&#039;m taking a handful of medication daily in the hopes of controlling my mental and physical pain.<br /><br />It&#039;s not working, I can&#039;t sleep and the urges to cut keep getting stronger.  I also envision me cutting my own throat with a knife. I can be sitting on the couch watching a TV show and out of no where I see it...I see the knife in my hand held to my throat.  I wonder, is this how I am supposed to die?  I always hoped it would be via lead poison ( aka a bullet).  No matter, I keep cutting and my wife sees the cuts and scars and naturally freaks out.  I&#039;m putting her through hell and that just adds to my anxiety and frustration that often boils over and results in even more cutting!  I wish I could post pictures so you can see my scars and know that this is for real.  I&#039;m living a nightmare and I&#039;m ashamed of myself for being so weak. Two years ago I was a decent role model for other Officers and the community I lived to protect and serve.  Now...now I am suicidal and spend most of my time at home, in pain and alone.  <br /><br />The urges are becoming too great and I&#039;m fast losing any control. My cuts are becoming deeper and deeper.  How can I cut out the ugly side of me when...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/cutting_away_the_ugly_part_of_me..._c-3_u-87678_b-4008.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[2]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 15 Jan 2013 22:33:57 -0500';
		

		data[3] = new Array();
		data[3]['title'] = 'I need help helping my depressed boyfriend!!';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_need_help_helping_my_depressed_boyfriend%C7%83%C7%83_c-3_u-107275_b-3764.html';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_need_help_helping_my_depressed_boyfriend%C7%83%C7%83_c-3_u-107275_b-3764.html';
		data[3]['username'] = 'kendoll17';
		data[3]['blog_id'] = '3764';
		data[3]['blog_message'] = 'So My boyfriend and I have been together a little over 2 years. We are both 20 years old. Up until a few months ago he was perfect fun and outgoing. He practically bowed down and kissed my feet and did anything for me. i dont mean to sound concieted, but thats how it was! Semi-recently he has changed. It started when we moved into the city in a house with 3 other gays. He just became more stand-off ish, and didnt want to cuddle or spend too much time with me. I ignored it thinking it was coming from stress about money and such, but it got worse. He eventually seemed like he was only happy when he wasnt with me. Rarely had sex or kissed me or even acted like i was around. This all was very hard for me, but i love him so i stuck around. Everything i did or said could make him mad and start a fight. This made me try harder to be sweet and cute with him and he didnt want any part of that. About two months ago he broke up with me saying he hates the house and the housemates and he just wasnt happy, but we talked and i told him if he really doesnt want to be with me then he could go and id be okay, but i didnt want him to do that without being 100% SURE. so we ended up working it out and he did it again two days later and the same thing happened. Then a month or so went by and he told me he wasnt happy, and he didnt know why. he recognizes that he has a career and a boyfriend who loves him more than anything and he loves me the same. I told him that he needed to leave because i couldnt emotionally handle it anymore. He got a room somewhere else and still isnt happy and we are seeing each other and taking it day by day. Today he told me he hates his life and has nobody but me. I love him and want to help but i dont know how. His father disowned him 2 years ago when he told him he was gay and they used to be really close and now he doesnt see or talk to him at all. His mother isnt there for him either. He feels alone and miserable and i try to tell him to keep his head up. He needs help, i know but is there anything i should be doing? can someone help me understand becasue i take it personally when i know that i shouldnt...He lashes out at me over stupid things then later tells me hes sorry and that he wishes id just leave because he treates me like $#%^ but he says he loves me so much and doesnt understand why i put up with it...i just dont know what to do! id love to talk to someone maybe on the phone?';
		data[3]['blog_time'] = 'Thu, 06 Dec 2012 18:40:12 -0500';
		

		data[4] = new Array();
		data[4]['title'] = 'do i have a disorder?';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/do_i_have_a_disorder%CA%94_c-3_u-121048_b-3945.html';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/do_i_have_a_disorder%CA%94_c-3_u-121048_b-3945.html';
		data[4]['username'] = 'glouisek';
		data[4]['blog_id'] = '3945';
		data[4]['blog_message'] = 'i am CONSTANTLY picking off scabs and pimples on my face and even more so on my back. it&#039;s so embarrassing because i have tons of scars on my back and luckily on my face it isn&#039;t so  bad. but whenever a new pimple or scab appears i pick it right away. i don&#039;t know why i do it. i don&#039;t even think about it when i am doing it. i don&#039;t have any disorders so i don&#039;t know if this is one and i want to know if i may have something that needs to be checked out.';
		data[4]['blog_time'] = 'Mon, 07 Jan 2013 00:03:42 -0500';