var title = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed';
		var url = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html';
		var site_url = 'https://www.psychforums.com';
		var site_desc = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum';
		var time = 'Wed, 27 Aug 2025 04:16:11 -0400';

		var data = new Array();
		

		data[0] = new Array();
		data[0]['title'] = 'Who or what am I?';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/who_or_what_am_i%CA%94_c-3_u-129876_b-4050.html';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/who_or_what_am_i%CA%94_c-3_u-129876_b-4050.html';
		data[0]['username'] = 'caramellacrisby';
		data[0]['blog_id'] = '4050';
		data[0]['blog_message'] = 'I have been confused all my life.. like several others... But recently.. I just can not take it any more...<br />Well.. Most of the time its just- who am I, WHY AM i, WHere AM I... Whats going on..?? What is this place.. this world..?? I must be a human being by this wolrds semiotic system.. i have two hands, head, eyes, etc.. what all other creatures considered as humans have... and there is such life around us.. what we live.. with rules... with manners... how things are supposed to be... well.. it doesnt make much sense to me... i am able to follow this worlds orders on my better moments.. but sometimes im just like- why, wtf?? Why should i.. <br />Sometimes again I live normal life.. according to this world... I can pretend like normal human being.. i can even forget for some time... my confusion.. but it comes back...<br />I have had moments of horror... When I am afraid of everything.. I can sit in a corner of a room, my back against a wall... or go under blanket.. hide there... from the world... to calm down...<br />Then I have moments of emptyness... when i think.. that not even moving my hand.. inhaling.. its not worth it.. as there is no point... whats the point to eat, to walk.. to put one lef in front of another.. to move on.. what for? why to buy a new computer, why to go to work.. why to study? why to function in this world...<br />im not sad... i dont care... i dont know... i dont see the point...<br />i do care about others suffering.. i care about sad and heartbroken or lonely people, sick people in pain, hungry animals.. etc... but what can i do for them? nothing.. i cant help myself...<br />i have started to avoid people and social events.. its not that i can not enjoy them.. i dont know how to even behave there... they dance and drink and talk.. but im thinking- whats the point? <br />I can still enjoy some emotional movies or books.. they get me off my confusion.. but real life.. not any more.. <br />i used to have some good friends and we had fun.. we were traveling and doing things together...<br />now i want to be alone.. hide from worls and people... <br />i used to feel like in Robbie Williams song-<br />I dont wanna die, but I aint keen on living either...<br />but now Im feeling...<br />I dont want to live this world and this life, but Im afraid of death too...<br /><br />So, I dont really know what to do... I can not die, I can not live.. Im just a empty soul... somewhere... somehow...';
		data[0]['blog_time'] = 'Wed, 23 Jan 2013 09:15:14 -0500';
		

		data[1] = new Array();
		data[1]['title'] = 'GAD, OCD, Irrational Fears';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/gad_ocd_irrational_fears_c-3_u-233962_b-5266.html';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/gad_ocd_irrational_fears_c-3_u-233962_b-5266.html';
		data[1]['username'] = '_FatimaM';
		data[1]['blog_id'] = '5266';
		data[1]['blog_message'] = 'Hello,<br /><br />Well for starters I wanted to say that I&#039;m a Seventeen year old girl who has recently been diagnosed with GAD. I have always feared a lot, and would always obsess over a certain thing/thought. I never really thought much of it, but now that I look back, it all makes sense. When I was around Seven years old, my older brother had came home from school one day and told me about germs, he explains how they were all around us. I quickly became obsessed with the thought that I would catch all these germs and catch a deadly illness and die. Every time I touched anything or anyone touched my hand, I would run to the bathroom and wash my hands. I was washing my hands up to 15 times a day and I didn&#039;t want to touch anything at all... Well like I said, I never thought much about that.. Until recently during summer break I had nothing better to do, other than watch TV, and everything I saw had to do with murders and people going insane. Well I saw this episode on a Hispanic show about a lady who had some type of Multiple personality disorder, who ended up killing her boss. She took medication for her disorder, but that day she forgot to take it.  She didn&#039;t realize she had killed her, until the memory of her kept haunting her. She would see her everywhere, and she would speak to her telling her &quot;You did it, you killed me&quot; much later she got the clue that she had committed that murder. Well I quickly became obsessed with the thought of me going insane or sleep walking and doing such thing. I actually started putting things against my door so if I did sleep walk, I wouldn&#039;t be able to get through. The thing is there hasn&#039;t been a time where I have slept walked. The thoughts used to be much worse, but I&#039;ve been seeing a therapist since the moment I realized I had a problem, and I&#039;ve been feeling much better. There&#039;s days where I feel completely fine and happy and then there&#039;s those other days where I completely panic and feel like my world is falling apart. I would much rather kill myself than to ever hurt anyone in anyway. The thought of doing such thing causes me so much emotional pain, because I know that I wouldn&#039;t hurt anyone. Sometimes I cant help but feel so hurt and upset with myself because of those thoughts, that I just want to end my life. I try to talk to the people who I love about this and try to explain it to them, but they don&#039;t really seem to understand. They say &quot;Oh everyone has those types of thoughts, just get over it&quot; although, everyone might have those types of thoughts, I cant seem to just &quot;get over it&quot;. I basically want to know, is there hope for me? How many others can relate to the way I&#039;m feeling? <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" title="Sad" />  <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" title="Sad" />  <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_cry.gif" alt=":cry:" title="Crying or Very sad" />';
		data[1]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 03 Sep 2013 17:22:52 -0400';
		

		data[2] = new Array();
		data[2]['title'] = 'Can't say no to sex';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/can%CA%B9t_say_no_to_sex_c-3_u-272158_b-7813.html';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/can%CA%B9t_say_no_to_sex_c-3_u-272158_b-7813.html';
		data[2]['username'] = 'Megzz';
		data[2]['blog_id'] = '7813';
		data[2]['blog_message'] = 'Hello! I&#039;m a 19- year old female and I can&#039;t seem to say no to sex. I don&#039;t feel the urge to constantly have sex but if a guy asks me to have sex I will always say yes. I beat myself up for this so much and I&#039;m not sure if it is a sexual addiction and I don&#039;t know how to treat it. <br />Please comment you opinions!';
		data[2]['blog_time'] = 'Thu, 25 Dec 2014 01:21:10 -0500';
		

		data[3] = new Array();
		data[3]['title'] = 'Ending Silence';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/ending_silence_c-3_u-141015_b-4200.html';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/ending_silence_c-3_u-141015_b-4200.html';
		data[3]['username'] = 'maat888';
		data[3]['blog_id'] = '4200';
		data[3]['blog_message'] = 'From what I have been told, I was talking and walking by 9 months old. Perhaps it is an exaggeration, but I can attest to the ease I have experienced in school, with dealing with problems, and assessing the “right” behavior in situations. <br /><br />I have had one imaginary friend, from what I can remember, since I was about two years old. I remember when he first knocked on the door, a back door with a mud room in my house, and I let him in. I would tease my Dad that he was my boy friend. He kept me wonderful company and was an enlightening, safe harbor. I remember another time when someone entered through this same door. I remember that I was handed a stuffed animal by this man, but I cannot recall any more.<br /><br />When I was seven, I remember feeling sure that I could survive on my own, if only my parents would let me alone. In kindergarten, I could read chapter books and would forge my mother’s signature on the homework list each week. I remember wanting the independence from my mother to moderate my own life.<br /><br />My favorite thing to do at that time was read. I had a children’s encyclopedia and learned about sexual reproduction in this fashion. I discovered an obsession with looking at Michael Angelo’s “David” sculpture. I would sit and look at it for different durations each day.<br /><br />Between seven and nine, my parents split up (though, I had suspected it for over a year). At this time I began having very sexual, very vivid dreams. One dream I remember was of my self in a hotel room, seducing a much older, ugly man. I believe between six and seven I was sexually abused again, by the same close friend of my family that had been in my life much earlier, and that I had let into my home through the mud room door. I cannot remember it happening, but I have returned to a certain event when I remember I was alone with this person, and there are blank spots in my memory. <br /><br />I started touching my self with my dolls or stuffed animals around this time, I don’t really understand why. I would “tell” my sister’s fortune by looking into my crystal ball. Around the same time I stopped feeling normal. When I saw myself in the mirror, I felt an intense, unnatural feeling. It was almost disgust. It increased when I had on feminine clothing. I still feel it, sometimes seemingly random and sometimes by noticeable triggers, to this day.<br /><br />When I was nine, I realized that my father was not scary. I saw that he would raise his voice to intimidate me- and, I saw that it was just that- and that I was capable of it too. This led me to a strange relationship with aggression. I began to “dominate” my siblings, feel an anger that was confusing and overwhelming. I felt as if something in me was red fire hot, and I had no control over it, nor the ability to stop it, nor the knowledge of how it started. I felt like a victim while I victimized other people. And still, though less frequently and with more control to mask it, I have this sensation of being a puppet. At this time I also began trying to study witch craft and wanted to be a vampire. I would mediate and attempt to make spells.<br /><br />By the time I was eleven, I was not only participating in on-line sex and wishing to be kissed by a boy at school, but I was finding attendance at school more difficult, as well as having increased bouts with anxiety and depression. This only worsened as I got older. And by fourteen, I was full blown suicidal. My parents attempted to get me help, but the doctors, therapists, teachers, and medication were so easily manipulated that no one could touch me.<br /><br />I would get into these crazed, raging fits of frustration and aggression. I would yell, scream, shake, cry, weep, sob; I was frightening. I started “cutting” which was mostly scratching. I started messing around with older guys. I started lying and going out and trying to drink/party as much as possible. When my father would have a chance to sit and talk to me, he would try to hug me, but I would yell insults until he would give up. I remember ...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/ending_silence_c-3_u-141015_b-4200.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[3]['blog_time'] = 'Sun, 17 Feb 2013 02:40:09 -0500';
		

		data[4] = new Array();
		data[4]['title'] = 'Confused gay or straight';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/confused_gay_or_straight_c-3_u-336892_b-9812.html';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/confused_gay_or_straight_c-3_u-336892_b-9812.html';
		data[4]['username'] = 'zeeshan399';
		data[4]['blog_id'] = '9812';
		data[4]['blog_message'] = 'Plz help me. i&#039;m very much confused about my sextual identity. <br />i have a strong attraction for boys. i watch gay porn movies. had sex with some guys also before marriage. i though every thing will be ok after marriage but thats not the case. i dont really like to spend time with my wife. and i still have strong feelings and attraction for boys. i dont know am i gay? <br />i enjoy when i spend time with a boy while having sex. but after that i regret for what i did. help me please what should i do.';
		data[4]['blog_time'] = 'Sat, 02 Apr 2016 17:02:59 -0400';