document.write('<div style="border: 1px solid #C5D7EF;"><h2 style="margin: 0px; padding: 2px; color: #3366CC; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 1.1em; font-weight: normal; background-color: #E5ECF9; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html">Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed</a></h2>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_11460\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_11460\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_11460\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_relationship_with_my_therapist_c-3_u-435562_b-11460.html">My relationship with my therapist</a></div><div id="b_11460" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">Hi guys , <br />This is pretty awkward to me talking about anything related to therapy to anyone. I&#039;ve been seeing my therapist for a month now , we had 4 sessions and 3 walks so far. What i wanna talk about is how i can open up to him and not feel so stiff around him and end up regretting not saying all i want or any of it at all. He says we have a good relationship but it’s different for me. I feel really disconnected. I have so much to tell him but it always ends with me not saying what i REALLY wanna say , especially when we have a walk. There’s that thing i do when i feel &quot;bad&quot; , i pretend that i&#039;m telling him what i&#039;m feeling so i calm down. Maybe it’s the reason i have nothing left to say ? <br />The reason i&#039;m trying to find a way to be more open is that i feel forced by myself. I’m regretting everytime i see him and end up not saying what i feel at all , and i don’t wanna drop therapy. I really really need it. I had a really unpleasant event by the time of our 3rd session and it made me realize how lucky i am to have a therapist at all. I wanna start fresh and on good terms with him. I wanna trust him enough to be comfortable around him to make our process better and not feel pushed. And he’s just a nice person idk what’s wrong with me  <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" title="Neutral" /><br />I want to want to get better and not feel so forced by myself.</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_7239\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_7239\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_7239\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/scars_i_want_to_keep_*tw*_c-3_u-263420_b-7239.html">Scars i want to keep *tw*</a></div><div id="b_7239" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">My mom wants me to get rid of my scars...But i find i really don&#039;t want too. I don&#039;t not want to wake up and not see them there on my left shoulder, on my left wrist and my right hip bone. Sick? Very, i know. My own mom looked at me like i was crazy when i told her, which i probably am. No healthy person cuts themselves, that&#039;s obvious. Or at least in my case, used too.<br /><br />I stopped cutting maybe a couple of months before high school graduation but it wasn&#039;t due to my mother finding me out. Instead my boyfriend did and made me promise to never do it again, cutting my mother to the punch line. My mom found out a month after him, i believe. She didn&#039;t believe me when i told her i stopped, so i gave her the scissors i used to hurt myself. That was my second step to stopping i guess. My third had to be when she got me medicine to take away the scars...but now on the fourth step, actually putting the stuff on, i&#039;m stuck.<br /><br /> I&#039;ve put it on once or twice but not religiously. I hate the idea of them not being there. They give me comfort and make me feel better. Am i wrong in wanting them there?</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_9379\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_9379\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_9379\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/an_update__c-3_u-147688_b-9379.html">An update ::</a></div><div id="b_9379" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">It has been quite some time since I was both active on the forums or in my blog (not that its much of one) but giving the new year is around the corner and the sad news of a sub-forum closing to read only I thought it was time to make a new start on here and in the real world. Despite the news about the forum I will still be using this blog as an outlet so please read with caution.<br /><br />The reason for my long inactivity was as my granddad was having a lengthy battle with kidney cancer which took his life not long ago, it was a very rapid downfall and hit everyone very hard and he sadly passed away just under 2 weeks ago and was buried 2 days ago so as you can imagine things are still raw not just with myself but family to.<br />--<br />As for myself things have been going up and down throughout the year and it has been rather hard to find some level ground amongst it all and much as before my mind is still my worst enemy constantly flooding my head and not being able to stop it. Silence is bad enough but uncontrolled thoughts are the absolute worst.<br /><br />Despite all that I do actually feel like I am in a much stronger position to keep myself out of the majority of harm and speaking from where I was to how I feel now this is one of many bricks in my foundation to staying strong. I still have things that need to be worked our and sorted through but its at least one hell of start and its something I can for once say I&#039;m proud of.<br /><br />I still do view loli/toddlercon from time to time along with /r34/ to take the sting off so things are perhaps not as strong and I&#039;m not as clean as I should be but all said and done its a step in the right direction. I know looking that stuff it is doing just as much harm as it is good but for now I&#039;d rather use it as a safety net than have nothing but a dark abyss again. I crawled out from there before and I intend on staying out of it.<br /><br />Even though there are very select few in my life that &#039;know&#039; and I put it like that as at times I feel they don&#039;t quite fully understand to extent of things which I suppose is not their fault although one person does not understand how hard it is to talk to them about things, what I think, feel or thoughts I have. I know they wont want to hear it who does and I just cannot get past that.<br /><br />My pedophilia is one on a list of things which plagues me and to be honest while I feel safer and stronger, actual support is not a lot, aside from things I have put in place like not watching television, movies and even limiting the music I listen to. Keeping myself busy with new projects, learning new languages and gaming there is not much else. It may be slow going but its all a start right.<br /><br />I expect things to be pushed and pulled but hopefully by then I can take it.<br /><br />Tulula ~</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_7867\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_7867\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_7867\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/introduction_the_pursuit_of_happiness_and_the_meaning_of_life_c-3_u-273131_b-7867.html">Introduction: The Pursuit of Happiness and the Meaning of Life</a></div><div id="b_7867" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">Rightio, guys! Welcome to my world! It&#039;s great in here, albeit the landscapes may appear a little cerebral and neurotic sometimes. I lead the fine young life of an Irish student. Yes, student life is... well, chaotic. Effective organisation is always precluded by the necessities of student life (i.e. sleeping erratic hours, inconsistently meeting inconsistent deadlines, and an all-round simultaneous lack of planning and spontaneity). I am doing what I love (that&#039;s binge-reading on metaphysics and critical theory and writing highfalutin essays on it all), and even if it doesn&#039;t make me happy, that&#039;s okay, because I&#039;m doing the right thing with my life right now. Clarity helps.<br /><br />Happiness (whatever it is) is a thoroughly overused term these days. Why on earth should I be happy just because I have everything and my life is pretty darn good?! &#039;Erm... perhaps because you have everything and your life is pretty darn good...?&#039; This is called circular reasoning, a logical fallacy. In fact, the entire pursuit of happiness in itself is both illogical and pointless. For a fact, nothing makes me happy. Ought I be stricken now by an avalanche of guilt? Not really. It&#039;s okay to feel whatever you feel and it is absolutely ridiculous to feel what someone else (or society, in fact) tells you to feel, because that&#039;s even more absurd that not feeling good, when life&#039;s good. In fact, the pursuit of happiness makes people depressed, because it&#039;s cheating logic and breaking down the faculties we rely on to make clear distinctions between things!<br /><br />I like my life. I don&#039;t like my depression. I live life with depression. I do not live a depressed life. When I am really depressed I am not living my life, but this has nothing to do with my life and everything to do with my depression. It is important when I am very depressed to never wish my depression to end, because this would mean ending my life. And I like my life. It is much more likable than my depression. It only makes sense to say, then, that I like my life more than I can ever dislike my depression, because depression requires life in order to exist and wishing my life to end because it will end my depression is completely absurd, because it denies the origin of depression, which is not life, but absurdity. Yes, depression is absurd, but life is not and in order to affirm what is true and meaningful (i.e. the fact that depression is absurd) we must affirm life.<br /><br />Of course, it may appear to be problematic when philosophers say that life is absurd and melancholia is a natural reaction to the absurdity of life. This may be true (and if it is it becomes difficult to distinguish depression from life), but even these philosophers find a way of affirming life, even if only in spite. For Camus, absurdity must be affirmed because our lucidity is the basis of all that we have. According to him, we must continue to push the boulder up the hill knowing it will fall back down, because acknowledging the pointlessness of this task liberates us to accept it. For Kierkegaard, it is defiance: rejection of help or escape which gives us strength to be our own and endure. For Nietzsche, life, suffering and all the tragedy in the world must be relished in order to rise above the adversity of slavery and become masters of ourselves through strength and creativity.</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_2133\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_2133\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_2133\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_first_post_about_meplease_reply_c-3_u-81651_b-2133.html">My First Post - About me-please reply</a></div><div id="b_2133" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em;">I&#039;ve recently been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder(Depressive type) after 3 years of hell.  Its hit me hard as i always thought things would turn out better , if you get me. Ive had bad days alot.  And some good days. Im on medication , abilfy 15mg , fluxotine 30mg  a day and i feel that it just works for a bit then stops.  In the past i had taken seroquel which didnt work at all and risperidone which did work but i had bad side effects and had to change drug.  Its doing my head in.  I just want to get better ! I wish there was a mircle drug or something , something that would take the voices away.  The voices are loud and agressive, they tell me to do things that i shouldnt do.  Things got so bad i was admitted to a mental health unit for 3 months.  I was in a safe place but  i got no help with coping and my medication was removed in the process which added insult to injury.<br /><br />I feel very alone as i have no one to talk to who has the same diagnoses as me, understands me, or understands what i am going through.<br />I would like to be able to use this forum to meet people who are similarly affected and able to understand and offer support as id like to do the same.</div>');
		
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