var title = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed';
		var url = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html';
		var site_url = 'https://www.psychforums.com';
		var site_desc = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum';
		var time = 'Mon, 25 Aug 2025 21:41:23 -0400';

		var data = new Array();
		

		data[0] = new Array();
		data[0]['title'] = 'The devil still lurks, so why not raise my meth dose??';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/the_devil_still_lurks_so_why_not_raise_my_meth_dose%CA%94%CA%94_c-3_u-82459_b-2235.html';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/the_devil_still_lurks_so_why_not_raise_my_meth_dose%CA%94%CA%94_c-3_u-82459_b-2235.html';
		data[0]['username'] = 'bookofwildthoughts';
		data[0]['blog_id'] = '2235';
		data[0]['blog_message'] = 'So 2 weeks have gone by already.  The 12 induction days are now over, what a relief ! I can still remember how I was living this, how days went by so slowly, with those 2 ‘girls’, those 2 bi*ches ‘rendering ‘ my life hell.  Today, while we were on our meth doctor’s rendez-vous or consultation, one of my ex-induction friends (i accept to employ the word ‘friend’ here, how kind of me!) was talking over to me and that conversation TOOK ME BACK TO THE DAYS! Yes, back to the 12 induction days when we were all together, ha! To cut this story short (since I’m not writing about this today, some other day maybe…), I’m just glad I made it out! I imagined two more days with these animals in that cacophonic jukebox, that cacophonic cage, and I would have hung myself out dry, shyiiit.  Believe it or not, I even made a rope out of my blanket, ready to be used… “Anytime!” I mumbled, without even shedding a tear, not even afraid of dying, well it was just for a few minutes, since that feeling quickly got out of me.<br /><br />So today, when I went over to my meth doctor on consultation, the latter asked me if all’s well, if I didn’t get any side effects from my methadone or if I encountered any craving during my first week out and if I’m happy with my current meth dose.  Well I told him the truth, nothing but the plain truth: every morning, I would wake up with my yawnings and running nose well, not as much as the time when I was addicted to heroin like back in the days LOL, but I’m not supposed to get any of this, not even an inch of all this ! My body was not on top mode, which is true as compared to the days when I was on induction.  Even if I didn’t sleep at that time, my bosy was not as torn as it is now; we had less physical activities, less thinking to do and most of all, no stress at all, no phone ringing, no email to check, no meeting, nothing!  As on my current life situation, when all’s back on other than the heroin cravings gone, I would have to, for instance, assist my parents in cleaning their yards, yes yards with an ‘s’.  The truth? Well, I prefer to stay at work premises rather than spend a day home when my parents are at home as well since there would always be somewhere to go, something to do, no rest at all.  And the days where we have nothing to do (meaning no cleaning or house chores), well, we would spend the days at the beach swimming and running on the beach.  And I’d be all cranked up the next day at work, body all messed up, cramps, etc…<br /><br />So I told all this to my meth doc and the latter just thought that was gibberish, from what I could conclude.   The first thing he would mention was that I didn’t do as much physical efforts in an office, forgetting the fact that office is a part of my life.  He said he would raise my daily meth dose but the question remains, since he didn’t write anything in front of me, and that’s quite discouraging.<br /><br />Because then, the devil would lurk around me and maybe at a later stage, push me back on the streets who knows?? I know very well that a higher meth dose (maybe a 5ml raise might do to start with) is not recommended.  Is it not better to be on a relatively higher meth dose than to hit back the streets ?<br /><br />Think about it !';
		data[0]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 21 Feb 2012 13:14:02 -0500';
		

		data[1] = new Array();
		data[1]['title'] = 'I think I am Covert narcissists and a gifted';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html';
		data[1]['username'] = 'MarC0Sand0';
		data[1]['blog_id'] = '8642';
		data[1]['blog_message'] = 'Whole of my life I know that I am unique. Since I was 7 years old I can feel that I am always out of place from other children. I can&#039;t feel any deep connection. I was just always quiet and shy. <br />My situation at home is that I have a parents whose having an incredibly expectation from me since I was always in 1st section in the class. My mother is always spoiling me(also having codependency tendency), my father will never listen to anyone aside from himself and always having a rough words(narcissistic tendency) and I have a big brother who I think having autism with narcissistic personality disorder who is a big bully in my life that always abuse me physically and verbally.<br /><br />My brother abuse me a lot verbally(threatening, bullying, devaluing) almost everyday since I was 13 I already used silent treatment in our relationship till now that I was 20. Thanks a lot since he moved to other place now. <br /><br />When I was 16 and I am in college I went far away from home to study in university. This is the time that I can really conclude that I have something inside of me. I became so depressed, but I don&#039;t want to commit suicide. All of the characteristics of covert narcissists I did. <br /><br /><br /><br />___ I can become entirely absorbed in thinking about my personal affairs, my health, my cares or my relations to others.<br />___ My feelings are easily hurt by ridicule or the slighting remarks of others.<br />___ When I enter a room I often become self-conscious and feel that the eyes of others are upon me.<br />___ I dislike sharing the credit of an achievement with others.<br />___ I feel that I have enough on my hand without worrying about other people&#039;s troubles.<br />___ I feel that I am temperamentally different from most people.<br />___ I often interpret the remarks of others in a personal way.<br />___ I easily become wrapped up in my own interests and forget the existence of others.<br />___ I dislike being with a group unless I know that I am appreciated by at least one of those present.<br />___ I am secretly &quot;put out&quot; or annoyed when other people come to me with their troubles, asking me for their time and sympathy.<br />___ I am jealous of good-looking people.<br />___ I tend to feel humiliated when criticized.<br />___ I wonder why other people aren&#039;t more appreciative of my good qualities.<br />___ I tend to see other people as being either great or terrible.<br />___ I sometimes have fantasies about being violent without knowing why.<br />___ I am especially sensitive to success and failure.<br />___ I have problems that nobody else seems to understand.<br />___ I try to avoid rejection at all costs.<br />___ My secret thoughts, feelings, and actions would horrify some of my friends.<br />___ I tend to become involved in relationships in which I alternately adore and despise the other person.<br />___ Even when I am in a group of friends, I often feel very alone and uneasy.<br />___ I resent others who have what I lack.<br />___ Defeat or disappointment usually shame or anger me, but I try not to show it.<br /><br />Link to the above information: http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/23-signs-youe28099re-secretly-a-narcissist-masquerading-as-a-sensitive-introvert/<br /><br />I will admit. It&#039;s like reading my self. . .<br /><br /><br />last two months ago. While watching youtube I suddenly came up with &quot;How to know a secret narcissists&quot;. First I was just having fun but when I literally looked at it. That&#039;s me. So I researched it and found the questions above.<br /><br />Talking of being gifted. I&#039;m not just telling this since I am a narcissists &#039;cause I literally have evidences that I am a gifted. I take an online IQ test and I range in a gifted person. I also members musical bands, marching band, Rondalla(string instrument players) and I always excel and excellent in this area. I also always competing in chess competition and got 2nd place in national level. And a very good math thinker. I am not telling lies but it&#039;s up to you if you will. Since I am an ultimate pathological lair I might lying. <br /><br />But this is where I am confused since gifted and covert narcissists...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[1]['blog_time'] = 'Mon, 06 Jul 2015 21:31:54 -0400';
		

		data[2] = new Array();
		data[2]['title'] = 'do i have a disorder?';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/do_i_have_a_disorder%CA%94_c-3_u-121048_b-3945.html';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/do_i_have_a_disorder%CA%94_c-3_u-121048_b-3945.html';
		data[2]['username'] = 'glouisek';
		data[2]['blog_id'] = '3945';
		data[2]['blog_message'] = 'i am CONSTANTLY picking off scabs and pimples on my face and even more so on my back. it&#039;s so embarrassing because i have tons of scars on my back and luckily on my face it isn&#039;t so  bad. but whenever a new pimple or scab appears i pick it right away. i don&#039;t know why i do it. i don&#039;t even think about it when i am doing it. i don&#039;t have any disorders so i don&#039;t know if this is one and i want to know if i may have something that needs to be checked out.';
		data[2]['blog_time'] = 'Mon, 07 Jan 2013 00:03:42 -0500';
		

		data[3] = new Array();
		data[3]['title'] = 'A little lost and confused, maybe used and abused';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/a_little_lost_and_confused_maybe_used_and_abused_c-3_u-316719_b-9353.html';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/a_little_lost_and_confused_maybe_used_and_abused_c-3_u-316719_b-9353.html';
		data[3]['username'] = 'Have1veryniceday';
		data[3]['blog_id'] = '9353';
		data[3]['blog_message'] = 'this is going to be my first post, i&#039;m not really sure where to start this post so i&#039;m going to jump right in, i have a been wondering lately whether i may suffer from borderline personality disorder, i have had this feeling for a long time that i am not quite right, i have this emptiness inside me, it feels like i am a camera stuck on live feed but no ones watching, i often feel like this regardless of whether i am content or unhappy.<br /><br />onto how i feel, sometimes i lie awake at night reliving the past day, i feel ups, downs, and sometimes a cold icy rage. i have little control over my thoughts and feelings at these times, or anytime really. i can maintain at times, but only for seconds before i&#039;m lost again. during the day when faced with interactions with people at work etc. i wear a mask that&#039;s all smile and charm, at times it feels more real than others. when like this i have little room for empathy or genuine care and affection, because one chink in my armour it could all come crumbling down. regardless of this, time, tiredness, stress and everyday interactions slowly erode it away. the harder i try to keep it on the worse the emotional comedown is. at home i can hide away in a book or hobby, at work i will feel like a zombie, just going through the motions, lost.<br /><br />i have always known that i have a very adaptable personality, it became more clear with a friend recently pointed out to me, that i completely change, interaction to interaction, almost instantly, depending who is around, effectively becoming a different person. i think i choose the path of least resistance, the easiest and the safest. at times it feels like i am just mirror, lost in someone elses reflection. my lack of self has made me easy to be manipulated and used for the benefit of others at times sadly.<br /><br />the people i allow myself to care about seem to effect me the most, i don&#039;t wear a mask with them, even if i wanted to i can&#039;t , this can result in myself becoming this mirror colored thing, for the most part i don&#039;t mind because we are happy, and i am more comfortable asserting myself, or the self i want to be,<br /><br />i think this has been a pretty long post, i will leave it here. if there are any questions i will be happy to answer them. thankyou';
		data[3]['blog_time'] = 'Fri, 11 Dec 2015 22:12:30 -0500';
		

		data[4] = new Array();
		data[4]['title'] = 'I feel like nothing...';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_feel_like_nothing..._c-3_u-402724_b-10936.html';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_feel_like_nothing..._c-3_u-402724_b-10936.html';
		data[4]['username'] = 'reoww25';
		data[4]['blog_id'] = '10936';
		data[4]['blog_message'] = 'My boyfriend has been in this really bad place for the past couple of weeks. He says that he doesn&#039;t feel like himself (or act like himself) &amp; that he feels like &#039;nothing&#039;. He&#039;s saying that he doesn&#039;t feel like a friend or a boyfriend. And that he feels nothing towards our relationship, even though he loves me like crazy. He just feels nothing towards everything right now.<br /><br />Because of this he wants us to take a break from our relationship so he can focus on himself and getting better. He wants to do it alone.<br /><br />I am really worried about him. I can&#039;t just leave him to battle this on his own when i&#039;m the only one that knows he&#039;s in this bad place. <br /><br />Even though we are on a break I really want to be there for him and help him. I just don&#039;t know how...';
		data[4]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 28 Mar 2017 21:10:19 -0400';