document.write('<div style="border: 1px solid #C5D7EF;"><h2 style="margin: 0px; padding: 2px; color: #3366CC; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 1.1em; font-weight: normal; background-color: #E5ECF9; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html">Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed</a></h2>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_3275\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_3275\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_3275\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_can_haz_a_blog%CA%94_c-3_u-94420_b-3275.html">I can haz a blog?</a></div><div id="b_3275" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">I am notoriously self absorbed, so the idea that others will be able to read what I right tickles me.  It more than tickles me, it gratifies me.  Right now I am struggling unsuccessfully with a gambling addiction.  It goes against the public persona that I have created for me to struggle this way, so I was actually thinking of setting up an alter account for my alter ego on a main blog site.  This will work just dandy.  Now I get to be my own dirty doppelganger and still be on the downlow with what a #######5 person I am.</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_11056\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_11056\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_11056\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/trans_in_denial_or....%CA%94_c-3_u-409304_b-11056.html">Trans in denial or....?</a></div><div id="b_11056" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">I&#039;ve been having pure o OCD for a long time. I was never properly diagnosed, but I&#039;ve been having obsessions ever since 3rd grade. Lately I started to obsessing over my sexuality, even though I&#039;ve already had a crush on a boy in my school. I got over my HOCD, and after a day of pure relief, when I was scrolling through YouTube, I found a video about a trans. Immediately a thought popped in my head, &quot;What if I am transgender?&quot; I started to obsess over that. I am tomboy-I had a lot of the character traits and humor of boys, my voice sounded slightly deeper than other girls, I was different than other girly girls, I hate pink, my childhood toys were cars, and I even looked kind of like a boy. However, I always loved being a girl. I felt quite comfortable in my body-and I&#039;ve never disliked being called &#039;her&#039; and &#039;she&#039;. I&#039;ve had a lot of fantasies and daydreams, all of which I was a girl. I imagined myself growing old as a girl. I&#039;ve always believed/identified I was female, and that was what I told myself when I first started to obsess. As time worn on, I became less sure. Every time I look in the mirror, I felt ugly and boyish. I don&#039;t want to be transgender. I keep on having unwanted thoughts m=of y=myself as a boy-I don&#039;t want to think about what it ould be like to be male because I&#039;m scared I might like it. I dont know if I&#039;m actually trans in denial or just TOCD. Please help!<br /> <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" title="Sad" /></div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_4223\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_4223\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_4223\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/now_what%CA%94_c-3_u-141975_b-4223.html">Now What?</a></div><div id="b_4223" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">I am Hartlepool_lad, I have tried to type my experience on the blog about seven or eight times but each time I have erased it, the abusive voice in my head yells at me that no one is interested in my story and that I am alone, pathetic and other words that have been planted in my mind which I don&#039;t wish to reveal at the moment.<br /><br />My systematic mental and physical destruction was to start  almost immediately, I couldn&#039;t call or meet friends I had to explain where I&#039;d been why I&#039;d had to go there and what I had been doing while there and who had I spoken to, my phone and internet were checked as were my texts and e-mails. Bank account details were demanded and checked almost daily and a reason had to be forthcoming if I had withdrawn money, receipts were checked if I had paid for anything with my card, I was cut off from contacting family as she would put it “this is the only family that matters to you now” this was being constantly shored up with abuse of the type that I was crap at what I do, a useless person and painful insults that I can only shudder at now, I was verbally abused everyday, physically abused every day, I have been beaten, punched, kicked, humiliated, stabbed, had buckets of hot bleach thrown over me her aggression hightened if the house wasn&#039;t clean enough the dish washer hadn&#039;t been emptied or the ironing hadn&#039;t been done exactly how she wanted, constant accusations of infidelity, squandering money, being a useless person.<br /><br />Then the torture of previous relationships started, I was given full and frank details of all the one night stands she&#039;d had, I was informed  by an ex friend of hers that she&#039;d had threesomes and multiple encounters in one weekend.<br /><br />She would regale me with the sordid details of these encounters and once estimated she&#039;d had in excess of two hundred that she could remember and not counting the drunken one night stands she couldn&#039;t, all the while telling me that I was worthless, useless, a crap person etc.<br /><br />It all came to a head in September 2005 when after months and years of such brutal torment the stress levels had reached such levels that my brain shut down for three days, I didn&#039;t know who I was, anything about myself, what I did for a job, my past anything.<br /><br />I was diagnosed with P.T.S.D. Dissociative Amnesia, severe depression, social phobia and I have lost everything, my memories of my life are just shadows, the event is, as always right at the front of my eyes, she still haunts my mind and still continues to influence me inside my head, I have no respite.<br /><br />Hartlepool_lad.</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_6958\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_6958\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_6958\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/what_now%CA%94_c-3_u-258910_b-6958.html">What Now?</a></div><div id="b_6958" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">So, my step brother took the plea. What now? What happens next? I have been preparing for the worst, and now I&#039;m suppose to be happy? I don&#039;t understand.</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_10563\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_10563\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_10563\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/separation_anxiety_c-3_u-383654_b-10563.html">separation anxiety</a></div><div id="b_10563" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em;">my father always was suspicious as to why i get really anxious any time my boyfriend leaves. he thought i was doing drugs with him or something - i&#039;m straight edge, so no, i&#039;m not doing any drugs that cause some sort of anxiety disorder. though i did think about how whenever my boyfriend leaves i get anxious. even so when i&#039;m with him i start to get anxious because he&#039;s leaving soon. this only happens with him. i automatically assume i&#039;m never seeing him again. i panic and feel as if i cannot feel okay without him. i absolutely hate this, i don&#039;t know how to change it, the only thing i&#039;ve tried is distancing myself but that only leads to emotional distance in the relationship and makes everything worse. i don&#039;t know what to do. i don&#039;t want to depend on him to feel okay.</div>');
		
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