document.write('<div style="border: 1px solid #C5D7EF;"><h2 style="margin: 0px; padding: 2px; color: #3366CC; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 1.1em; font-weight: normal; background-color: #E5ECF9; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html">Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed</a></h2>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_4712\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_4712\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_4712\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/do_i_have_some_serious_disorder_or_something%CA%94_c-3_u-195253_b-4712.html">Do I have some serious disorder or something?</a></div><div id="b_4712" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">I&#039;m 19 years old and for my entire life I&#039;ve been having troubles feeling anything at all. I always thought there was some logical and simple explanation to why I wasn&#039;t like everyone else, and I assumed it would heal with time, but it didn&#039;t. It just keeps getting worse. First let me begin with that I&#039;m completely unable to open up to other people. I have never opened up. To anyone. If I&#039;m even close to doing it I feel disgusted by myself, I get nausea and an urge to flee. I&#039;ve also never cared like others. I can&#039;t really feel empathy. Or I mean, I can, for like animals and my family, but no one else. I&#039;m literally serious when I say my best friend could die tomorrow and I wouldn&#039;t be able to feel a thing. Obviously I&#039;d think it&#039;s sad, but it wouldn&#039;t effect me on an emotional level. <br /><br />I hide this part of me, and I certainly don&#039;t talk about it with anyone. I want to be normal but I just can&#039;t. I have tried to involve myself in other people, in relationships, and even - in my sillier moments - in love. But it doesn&#039;t work. Something in me is broken or missing. I love my immediate family, but that&#039;s about it. I can lie without feeling any kind of remorse, I manipulate people very easily, and when someone really gets on my bad side, I just attack their weaknesses and break them down with words. It&#039;s terrible, I know, but I can&#039;t stop. Even as I write it, I know I say it&#039;s terrible, but I don&#039;t feel terrible. I just know that it&#039;s not how a person should act. I could never physically hurt another person, but not because it would make me feel bad but more because I know it&#039;s wrong. <br /><br />My condition is just getting worse, I&#039;ve started to distance myself from everybody because I feel so tired of wearing a mask and constantly faking to like what they like or play their stupid games. I don&#039;t love others. I&#039;m incapable of feeling on a deeper level, there are no strong emotions in me. I feel narcisstic but at the same time I hate myself. I can get furious very easily but it goes away as quickly as it comes. I haven&#039;t had such a bad childhood but I mean my mother was going through her hardest part of life when I was a kid, and she took it out on me a lot. Sometimes physically but mostly mentally, such as I constantly heard that I was a bad kid, and bad news, and she blamed me for a lot of stuff that wasn&#039;t really my fault. She changed and got so much better when I was like 13 or something and now she&#039;s the best mom ever and apologized 200 times but I can&#039;t seem to let go. It&#039;s stuck with me.. I&#039;m seriously worried that my condition will become worse and something bad will happen... What&#039;s wrong with me?</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_2219\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_2219\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_2219\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/boyfriend_with_bipolar_disorder_c-3_u-82326_b-2219.html">Boyfriend with Bi-Polar disorder</a></div><div id="b_2219" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">so my boyfriend of a year and a half has bipolar disorder. We&#039;ve broken up and fought many times over the past but everything always goes back to normal once he&#039;s done with that particular cycle. I know it sounds awful to go through but I am willing to and it is worth it to me. I&#039;d never hold it against him because I&#039;ve done my fair share of learning about the disorder and I know that he can&#039;t help it. I love him and I want to see him happy and I know I make him happy it&#039;s just when he gets moody it&#039;s always me. And I know that when he doesn&#039;t know what&#039;s wrong he&#039;s going to take it out on the person closest to him which is me, and I know I can&#039;t do anything about it, and that sucks. We&#039;ve talked about his disorder before and he realized that I&#039;m the only one who&#039;s there for him. <br /><br />Now getting to what&#039;s going on right now, we hadn&#039;t fought in two months and everything was perfect and I knew that it was long overdue for him to go through a depressive, angry or manic cycle. Last Sunday I saw him and everything was fine, then that night when he was working he texted me and told me he was depressed, I know better than to ask him why or what&#039;s wrong so I just told him that if he needs me I&#039;m here but if he needs his space I understand. He told me that he needed some space he just didn&#039;t want to have to say it, so we didn&#039;t talk because I wanted to respect that he needed space. On valentines day, that tuesday, I didn&#039;t want to waste my card so I drove the hour to see him and I put it on his doorstep and I left, as to not bother him. In the middle of the night he sent me a long text saying how he needs someone more mature and how I&#039;m too negative and how he wants to break up. I&#039;m neither of those things. He said he&#039;s on a path to self discovery as well. After we talked about that I asked if he got my card and he said yes and no, that he got it but he didn&#039;t read it, he hid it from himself in case he has a change of heart like he does other times with the things I give him when stuff like this happens. <br /><br />We didn&#039;t talk all week and then today, Saturday, I don&#039;t know why but I had to say how I felt. So I sent him this long thing about how I felt and he was really nasty about it (which I was expecting). I just needed him to think about what he&#039;s doing. Also all week he has been tweeting all these sad song lyrics or he sounds happy. And in the past he&#039;s seemed happy and he would be out with his friends having a good time and not talking to me but that&#039;s expected and he&#039;d always come back. The last time I told him how I felt and how his bipolar disorder was affecting me (because he knew he was bipolar he just had no idea what it meant) he got really angry at first but he called me later and told me that I was right and that he was sorry. <br /><br />Everyone I&#039;ve tried talking to about this just tells me I need to tell him to go on medication. He&#039;s tried it and doesn&#039;t like it and it&#039;s not my place to push him to do so. I know the real reasons he&#039;s upset are because he&#039;s a 20 year old boy who thinks his life is over because he hasn&#039;t started college yet, and I&#039;ve been trying to help him to go to college, and I&#039;m in no way trying to hold him back. I know he&#039;s just going through a cycle and he&#039;s not being himself right now and all of the other times he&#039;s always come back. It&#039;s just never lasted this long. I know it can&#039;t be the same every time but I just wanted to see some other opinions. <br /><br />For now I just know I need to give him the space he needs and respect that and hopefully he&#039;ll come back sooner or later. I&#039;ve been told I should leave him countless times by others but that&#039;s not what I want to do in the least bit. <br /><br />Opinions? Advice?</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_9772\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_9772\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_9772\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/emotional_hijacking_and_learning_to_take_personal_responsibility_c-3_u-333179_b-9772.html">emotional hijacking and learning to take personal responsibility</a></div><div id="b_9772" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">Hello everyone! Here is another post that I wonder if anyone can relate to?<br /><br />Now I have recognized that I do have some good qualities as I began to understand and rebuild myself but I find that I have also exploited these qualities in the past, distant and and not so distant. At I times I have  even justified my actions with these qualities for example talking myself out of returning a phone call from my mother, I&#039;ll tell  myself that attending to my life changes are more important, I can&#039;t disrupt this noble and righteous work, then anger will justify the frustration of having to make these life changes then ill hold her responsible for my current emotional and mental struggles. Ill think she doesn&#039;t deserve to speak with me, she deserves to suffer like me, she should be punished. (I know very immature,  Its as if bpd is one the more extreme symptoms of immaturity)<br /><br />Or my sadness will justify my depression after acknowledging how sensitive I am.  For an example I&#039;ll use avoiding my mothers call again, I&#039;ll think to myself that I deserve to be alone for all the stress and pain I have caused others, that there is so much growth that needs to transpire before I can effectively communicate with anyone. That I don&#039;t have anything worth saying, that I don&#039;t want to worry anyone with my issues and ineptitude. (Really I&#039;m just removing a level of responsibility and accountability over my own actions that I believe I&#039;m too exhausted for, too depressed to invest my energy in to)<br />This is where My Fear interjects sometimes, creating thoughts like I would just embarrass myself if I try to educate or inform my mother on my current condition because I don&#039;t really know myself like i once believed I did, I&#039;ll sound uninformed to her, like I&#039;m not trying to change, or I&#039;m not taking the growth that needs to transpire seriously enough. (The shame would be too much to bear apparently is what Im thinking here, once again I see myself hiding from a level of responsibility because of the fear of emotional shame, which is related to heightened level of emotional sensitivity leaving me fearful of many personal and social situations/confrontations)<br /><br />Another thing I have become recently hip to is the projection of these insecurities on he world. What I believe people are thinking about me or fear that they may be thinking, really are just what i deep down think about myself. And it does not stop at people i project my demeanor on to all things, in my eyes the world has become as tumultuous as my soul, A place where joy does not exist only struggle and heartache.  I believe by improving my perception of self my projection on to the world will also improve, my perception of the world will improve and i will see the beauty of life again.</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_2104\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_2104\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_2104\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_don%CA%B9t_know_c-3_u-81324_b-2104.html">I don't know</a></div><div id="b_2104" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em; border-bottom: 1px dotted #DDDDDD;">I just don&#039;t understand my &quot;family&quot;. I leave my purse and wallet out on the table and they come and go through it. They just pick my wallet up and flip through my check book. And when I said something my grandmother got mad. She just got mad and smarted me off, then walked away. It&#039;s like this all the time, it&#039;s like I&#039;m supposed to let them run over me and do or say whatever they want about me or my stuff, and if I say anything I&#039;m a bitch or I don&#039;t know what I&#039;m talking about. Honestly it makes me sick just to be here. Sometimes I just feel like I can&#039;t take it anymore, like my time is over and I should just commit suicide.</div>');
		
		document.write('<div style="font-size: 1.1em; margin-bottom: 5px;"><a href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if(document.getElementById(\'b_6264\').style.display == \'none\'){document.getElementById(\'b_6264\').style.display=\'block\';}else{document.getElementById(\'b_6264\').style.display=\'none\';}if(this.style.background.search(\'https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif\') != -1){this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}else{this.style.background = \'url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/min_dark_blue.gif)\'; this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';}" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 12px\';" onmouseout="this.style.backgroundPosition = \'0px 0px\';" style="margin: 5px 3px 0 3px; float: left; background-image: url(https://www.psychforums.com/styles/prosilver/theme/images/blog/max_dark_blue.gif); background-position: 0px, 0px; width: 12px; height: 12px;" /><a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/overprotective_parents_c-3_u-253296_b-6264.html">overprotective parents</a></div><div id="b_6264" style="display: none; padding: 5px 5px 2px 15px; font-size: 0.9em;">so im a teen, a girl, and i have overprotective parents, and by overprotective , i mean embarrassingly overprotective. my dad is more laid back and will let me do more things and go to more places, but my mum is the main issue. if i ask to go somewhere, i have to ask my mum. its like my dad has no input on my social life what so ever. <br /><br />recently i have been talking to a boy that i like and we have been getting on well. he is really nice and i would love to get closer to him. but obviously my mum is getting in the way of that. she wont let me go to a boys house even if its for a couple of hours or for dinner and if a boy comes over she wont let us go upstairs which is pretty embarrassing. i dont want to have a sexual relationship with a boy at this age but my mum doesnt seem to trust me and its really bringing me down.<br /><br />whenever i talk to a boy im scared to get close to them because i know my mum will mess things up. i feel like im not allowed to talk to a boy or to have a boyfriend. i mean, im a teen, obviously im going to be talking to boys or wanting to have a boyfriend but my mum gets in the way of everything.<br /><br />its not even just with boys, its with everything! she only likes about 3 of my friends and she will let me stay at their houses but if its someone she hasnt met or doesnt like she wont let me. like my friend asked me to go to her nans birthday party on the weekend and stay at hers after, and my mum wont let me because she doesnt like her. she ruins everything! i know its cliche that im a teenage girl and saying she ruins my life but she really does. and its bringing me down completely. <br /><br />she wont let me out after dark and i always have a curfew to get home. this boy im talking to doesnt go to my school, but hes the same age as me, so i can only see him on weekends and i cant even see him that long because it gets dark early in the winter and i cant see him after school either so i only ever see him like once a week. he asks me to meet up with him after school sometimes and i always have to come up with an excuse like every other time she says i cant go somewhere. <br /><br />if i ask her to go somewhere or do something she either says &#039;no&#039; straight away or she says &#039;i&#039;ll think about it&#039; and most of the time its a no anyway. im a teenager, she needs to let me go places and experience new things so i can learn from my mistakes. keeping me locked up in the house all the time isnt going to make things any better, its just going to raise me into a liar and make me want to rebel against things. apparently overprotective parents can lead to social anxiety too. i dont know if i have it but im always sad when it comes to my mum and makes me feel depressed. i cry all the time about it and she doesnt care.<br /><br />if i try to explain things like this to her she never listens or understands how i feel. i know shes overprotective because she wants to look out for me and everything but doing this is only going to make things worse. if she let me make mistakes and see right from wrong then i will understand. its not like im going to get raped or mugged if i go out after dark, im only going to be with my friends!<br /><br />i just wish she would understand how i feel and give me a chance. she doesnt trust me and it makes me feel so upset that i dont get opportunities to do anything. <br /><br />im the only friend with an overprotective parent and i feel left out and worthless when my friends talk about all the fun they had when they went out at the weekend or after school without me there because im the girl with the overprotective parent that no one wish they had. <br /><br />dont get me wrong, i love my mum, but she doesnt realise how much this brings me down. and im getting sick of it. i might aswell have no friends or boyfriends or social life until im about 20. <br /><br />please help me to find a solution to this.  <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" title="Sad" /> <br /><br />thank you.</div>');
		
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