var title = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed';
		var url = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html';
		var site_url = 'https://www.psychforums.com';
		var site_desc = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum';
		var time = 'Thu, 04 Sep 2025 06:00:21 -0400';

		var data = new Array();
		

		data[0] = new Array();
		data[0]['title'] = 'My screwed mind - GID and DID';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_screwed_mind_gid_and_did_c-3_u-237822_b-5401.html';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/my_screwed_mind_gid_and_did_c-3_u-237822_b-5401.html';
		data[0]['username'] = 'omeganashik';
		data[0]['blog_id'] = '5401';
		data[0]['blog_message'] = 'At the age of eleven, five years ago, I recall calling a voice in my head the narrator, because he would refer to my life in third person, always negatively, constantly talking, and arguing with me, To this day. As far back as I can remember I have had a want to become female, purely for physical reasons, however, this need was intermittent, usually I had the standardly accepted gender identity, I even imagine being a father- not a parent or mother, a father- and now at sixteen my gender identity feels as if it has split into two, transgendered and &#039;normal,&#039; while I am now &#039;turned on&#039; by material of transgendered nature at times, but usually am not. The narrator has also evolved, triggering bouts of sudden uncharacteristic anger, while I am usually calm and cheerful. I sometimes find that my face is curling into a look of anger or contempt, or that I have sudden images of badly hurting people who do something I dislike, that may have been an acceptable thing to do, but for whatever reason I just feel foreign satisfaction in imagining pain.<br /><br />I began looking through myself, basically just trying to figure out what the hell is wrong, and the following are the results:<br /><br />At the age of six I had a crush on a girl in my primary school class, she left that year, for other reasons. This is the most definite starting point I can place for my tgism. then, at eleven, I had my second crush, on another classmate, and she walked up to me and told me to stay away from her shortly after the two friends I told this secret to went and told everyone. My theory is that my subconscious took these rejections, and the stereotypical views on geeks and indians, and sculpted from them the idea that I was so repulsive that the only way I could ever have a girl in my life was to be a girl, and so that shard of my gender identity broke away, and from this information I called that shard Lust. Lust doesn&#039;t seem to be as conscious as the narrator (who is now named Anger), though she has on two occasions exclaimed on how &#039;hot&#039; a guy was, though this may be because of nightly masturbation to the idea of being a girl, leading to lust already being expressed. Anger, however, is kept under lock and key, and so usually has a voice. There are other signs as well. I used to use electronic devices excessively, even when supposed to be sleeping, but I voluntarily stopped, and recently I&#039;ve started feeling tired after 11am, as if I hadn&#039;t gotten the sleep that I obviously did. Occasionally, when writing, my hand forms a squiggle instead of a letter, and my handwriting has deteriorated, and today when trying to write while holding the pen loosely, I could only make squiggles.<br /><br />There may be other voices, occasionally when playing a sport I become giddy, speaking without thinking, and really jumpy, and sometimes I hear a crowd, but that may be Anger messing with me.<br />There&#039;s a chance I am only imagining all of this, but I don&#039;t want to take that risk.<br />Help me please.';
		data[0]['blog_time'] = 'Thu, 19 Sep 2013 17:25:27 -0400';
		

		data[1] = new Array();
		data[1]['title'] = 'A little lost and confused, maybe used and abused';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/a_little_lost_and_confused_maybe_used_and_abused_c-3_u-316719_b-9353.html';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/a_little_lost_and_confused_maybe_used_and_abused_c-3_u-316719_b-9353.html';
		data[1]['username'] = 'Have1veryniceday';
		data[1]['blog_id'] = '9353';
		data[1]['blog_message'] = 'this is going to be my first post, i&#039;m not really sure where to start this post so i&#039;m going to jump right in, i have a been wondering lately whether i may suffer from borderline personality disorder, i have had this feeling for a long time that i am not quite right, i have this emptiness inside me, it feels like i am a camera stuck on live feed but no ones watching, i often feel like this regardless of whether i am content or unhappy.<br /><br />onto how i feel, sometimes i lie awake at night reliving the past day, i feel ups, downs, and sometimes a cold icy rage. i have little control over my thoughts and feelings at these times, or anytime really. i can maintain at times, but only for seconds before i&#039;m lost again. during the day when faced with interactions with people at work etc. i wear a mask that&#039;s all smile and charm, at times it feels more real than others. when like this i have little room for empathy or genuine care and affection, because one chink in my armour it could all come crumbling down. regardless of this, time, tiredness, stress and everyday interactions slowly erode it away. the harder i try to keep it on the worse the emotional comedown is. at home i can hide away in a book or hobby, at work i will feel like a zombie, just going through the motions, lost.<br /><br />i have always known that i have a very adaptable personality, it became more clear with a friend recently pointed out to me, that i completely change, interaction to interaction, almost instantly, depending who is around, effectively becoming a different person. i think i choose the path of least resistance, the easiest and the safest. at times it feels like i am just mirror, lost in someone elses reflection. my lack of self has made me easy to be manipulated and used for the benefit of others at times sadly.<br /><br />the people i allow myself to care about seem to effect me the most, i don&#039;t wear a mask with them, even if i wanted to i can&#039;t , this can result in myself becoming this mirror colored thing, for the most part i don&#039;t mind because we are happy, and i am more comfortable asserting myself, or the self i want to be,<br /><br />i think this has been a pretty long post, i will leave it here. if there are any questions i will be happy to answer them. thankyou';
		data[1]['blog_time'] = 'Fri, 11 Dec 2015 22:12:30 -0500';
		

		data[2] = new Array();
		data[2]['title'] = 'I may be going insane';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_may_be_going_insane_c-3_u-273445_b-7870.html';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_may_be_going_insane_c-3_u-273445_b-7870.html';
		data[2]['username'] = 'Rednation';
		data[2]['blog_id'] = '7870';
		data[2]['blog_message'] = 'Thank you for your time<br />I am currently a male upperclassmen in high school. My grades are... For lack of a more accurate word bad, I have about a 2.0 cumulative. I used to want to be a 2d animator you know like cartoons. When I think about it that goal it is as far as can be from my reach. About a year and 4 months ago I saw this girl who is now the only thing I think about, I talk to her In very small conversations daily, she is the only reason I even want to go to school when I&#039;m in class I zone out and just think about her I would do anything, everything, and more to make her smile. I go home from school too depressed that I&#039;m not more to her than just someone to talk to for ten-twenty minutes and forget my homework and just think about her, cry for a few hours. Then my mother gets home and it&#039;s time for me to fake a smile and make sure she never worries about me. I usually talk to friends on skype which surprisingly takes my mind off of her a little bit, then nighttime comes and I&#039;m back in bed crying,shaking, tired but too scared of how bad my depression may get if I don&#039;t keep working for her I&#039;ve even caught myself whispering her name and talking about how much I love her when I&#039;m in this state. So I&#039;m trapped in this cycle, I ignore school and think of her then I remember she&#039;s the one and only thing I would ever work for and my grades just keep dropping. The one funny thing, nobody knows I have this problem, I seem so mentally stable, and I have plenty of friends, I&#039;m only lonely because i avoid talking to people sometimes so I can just lay in bed and think about her. I had brought this problem to a different site and I was banned within a day (I must&#039;ve swore or something) and I felt like nobody could help me, i have 3 ways I think of my life going, either I end up with this girl that I would be as loyal as a dog too, I somehow manage to pursue my dream of being an animator, or I don&#039;t end up with her and my depression takes over, and It scares me so much. Please just give me feedback, I need this help I feel empty.';
		data[2]['blog_time'] = 'Wed, 07 Jan 2015 02:50:11 -0500';
		

		data[3] = new Array();
		data[3]['title'] = 'Having trouble knowing if I'm me or someone else.';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/having_trouble_knowing_if_i%CA%B9m_me_or_someone_else._c-3_u-411104_b-11101.html';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/having_trouble_knowing_if_i%CA%B9m_me_or_someone_else._c-3_u-411104_b-11101.html';
		data[3]['username'] = 'Pryoproy';
		data[3]['blog_id'] = '11101';
		data[3]['blog_message'] = 'Is it abonormal that whenever I gain interest in a certain show or game that all of a sudden I drop literally all my other interests and focus mainly on one character in that series/game. It gets so bad that I&#039;ll actually imagine myself being in a relationship with them and also adopt most of not all of their traits and pretend I&#039;ve always acted like that when in reality I was different before hand. But then again that could&#039;ve been another character. I&#039;ve been doing this for near 10 years so I don&#039;t even know who I am anymore. It&#039;s frustrating and I&#039;m honestly concerned as it&#039;s nearly ended friendships in the past. In order to stop it, I&#039;ve tryed asking myself am I doing this as me or as the character. This has proved unsuccessful as it just makes me paranoid that I&#039;m being a character when I do something the same way I&#039;d imagine the character doing something. It could be the most mundane task ever and I&#039;ll still be paranoid that I&#039;m not me but someone else.';
		data[3]['blog_time'] = 'Wed, 17 May 2017 07:55:07 -0400';
		

		data[4] = new Array();
		data[4]['title'] = 'do i have a disorder?';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/do_i_have_a_disorder%CA%94_c-3_u-121048_b-3945.html';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/do_i_have_a_disorder%CA%94_c-3_u-121048_b-3945.html';
		data[4]['username'] = 'glouisek';
		data[4]['blog_id'] = '3945';
		data[4]['blog_message'] = 'i am CONSTANTLY picking off scabs and pimples on my face and even more so on my back. it&#039;s so embarrassing because i have tons of scars on my back and luckily on my face it isn&#039;t so  bad. but whenever a new pimple or scab appears i pick it right away. i don&#039;t know why i do it. i don&#039;t even think about it when i am doing it. i don&#039;t have any disorders so i don&#039;t know if this is one and i want to know if i may have something that needs to be checked out.';
		data[4]['blog_time'] = 'Mon, 07 Jan 2013 00:03:42 -0500';