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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (956)
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- July 2019
the strange world of getting better did
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 4:36 pm
This is not going to be easy.
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:47 am
Identity 101; so; it officinally begins; the rebuilding
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 2:25 am
Something positive is happening
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 11:54 pm
The Beatles
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:04 am
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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Writing a letter to my future wife I haven't seen

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Sep 05, 2018 4:14 pm

In my soulmate search; I have to let the universe bring her to me! I can call for her; and the universe will show me how she is going to show up; and has done that! A women appeared from nowhere; a jogger on a bridge and she came strait at me! I knew the universe has sent a sign!
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Next; I wanted a soulmate! Well, a week later, in one of the meetings I attend; I saw this women; it was her; everything I had specified! However, she ended up with another man! She never had any interest in me; did not see me! She did follow some signs I asked the universe to send that would show she was a soulmate! and she passed those tests; certainly she did not know I was testing her! and it was from observational levels only! I never really interacted with her! She was gone with week! meaning, she was already in the arms of another man and heading in that direction the moment I spotted her! Meaning, I was observing a stranger I would never interact with or probably see again! However, she appeared and passed the secret tests of a soulmate; the problem was; she was not my soulmate! OK; so, that was a stunning experience; and I had to learn to move on! So, I worked with the universe to concentrate on the universe and learned to make the universe my best friend and soulmate!
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Next; as I was going down the street on my bike; I told was given a message from the universe; a feeling; I wanted to be what Im suppose to be strait in front of me; be myself! and I thought! universe; bring me my Asian soulmate strait in front of me! Suddenly I saw a car veering off toward me a bit; I pulled over next to the curb! I was silent and looking strait ahead; suddenly out of nowhere, an Asian women appears, walks strait from her house up in front of my bike, She looks at me; turned and pulls some mail from her mail box; then walks back into her house! perfect timing! Just as I had asked; bring me an Asian women right in front of me! And this was a sign that I was directly moving on to the next part of my journey concerning Asian soulmate!
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When I got home that day; I realized that I had never asked the universe for a best friend! I was getting the message from the universe; I knew what I wanted her to look like; but I wanted a best friend!
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I started writing a letter to my future Asian soulmate wife; a love letter; and it was full of wrath and hatred and anger! I did not use angry words; what do I mean? when I was writing nice words I was feeling hatred and abuse all over the place! Then I stopped and thought; I cant do this! Its so painful! And realized; the anger was coming from me; from inside myself about myself!
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Now; Im asking the universe to help pull out good feelings associating with these words; that I can get over my abuse anger and express good feelings when I want to!
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Also, I have to learn how to talk to people again in intelligent conversation! I have to learn how to meet people and talk to them! converse! This is very important! As I thank the universe for the wonderful conversations I have with my asian soulmate I have not met yet!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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