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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1029
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (869)
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- May 2019
i have alot more to talk about
   Sat May 18, 2019 11:49 pm
I cant remember sex
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Somewhere in time
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Goals of being myself again
   Thu May 16, 2019 8:36 pm
In limbo land
   Wed May 15, 2019 3:32 am
Getting fat and other things
   Mon May 13, 2019 6:14 am
Childhood horror starting to surface
   Sat May 11, 2019 12:00 am
blessings; this is stating for me; to feel blessed
   Thu May 09, 2019 7:41 pm
resentments and negative thinking
   Thu May 09, 2019 5:43 pm
Im working on stories
   Wed May 08, 2019 8:32 pm
Dissociative people write blogs
   Tue May 07, 2019 6:18 pm
Coming back; no friends
   Mon May 06, 2019 3:50 am

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Working through bad stuff; asking God that I can trust

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:50 pm

I have to trust source energy! My life was wiped out when little! Who was in charge?; whats the Christian attitude about it! Some how the Christian view gets God off the hook! Why? or, How?; if God is the God of the universe, and the universe watched me as a child being destroyed day after day after day! How am I suppose to trust the universe! the universe turned on me! or left me or bullied me! It attacked me viciously! why?, I was just a child! The Christians will walk up to me and sell me some goods about God! It doesn't work anymore! its a niceeeee nice story line for the rich or well to do; for the rest of us, no escape from the human conditions!
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Im slowly allowing the process of working with God; but God can not make anymore mistakes with me! I cant spend, year after year after year getting to know God! By the time I was 18, I was an old man! I was burned out completely from dealing with sociopaths!
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I dont want to go through more pain! Im asking God for a relationship that he must respond to! Ill try on my end; I haven't got much to give!
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I dont like empty promises! Ive had 10 million of them; I had my whole life pulled out from under me when young with no escape! I was ruined, My future was ruined! everything was ruined! Everything was taken away from me; the intended aggression of a psychopath; the sadistic side!
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Im now trying to get better and I dont want to chase God to do so! God has to come out of the clouds to help me! he must come down from his thrown; he must!
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Im trying to contact God, but Im getting no offers! something is wrong!
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I will keep trying to contact God!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/clinical Depression
lighter forms of agoraphobia
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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