I never had a first job! not mine! not in the real world sense! not along the sanity calendar!
I was destroyed when young; I was destroyed before you work! Those developmental years from 8-12; destroyed! I went to sleep and could not function on a work site or any site! I was destroyed!
That first job; independent; your job; a job for buying your stuff; your basic stuff in high school! ski stuff or music stuff! or computer stuff! Nothing! never happened!
I have no work ethic! nothing!
later, I had jobs thrown at me! I was forced to participate! but I could not last! I never wanted them or liked them or really chose them! I did not care about living! I did not choose the jobs I wanted! I did not understand the concept!
I cant make money! I cannot function! I have deep pain associated with work and jobs and working! massive hurt and collapse of self!