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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

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Women

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Nov 27, 2014 9:53 pm

And this subject is going to have to be rebirth'd over n over n over until it is done with!

The approach of women

The problem I have with women today falls back to the ages of 0 to 5 and 5 to 10!

Its possible ive been around the wrong women!

My Father abandon the family, telling my mother " you can take your kids and go strait to hell"!

I had no mother,

Sadistic people turn on you and play emotional games!

I have found women to be the same;

The problem is; Im still innocent!

I fantasize about what a women is!

The women wants a man to act like what she thinks a man is! thats ######6 nuts!

At first this seems funny, what I wrote above, but actually its deadly!

I guess Im looking for a savior,

Ive asked out my first girlfriend! and learned the beginning of talking to people! interaction and approach!

I get shot down by people that appreciate nothing;

I was treated inhumanly for most of my life, through neglect!

One major problem with women; I have to go where they are! where I am will not work!

I have to be myself!

Im afraid I was brought up by sociopaths and this has caused major damage to my mind, myself worth, self esteem, self confidence!

I remember several women telling me to my face they would never go out with me!


What gets me, is how stupid the girls were to think they had it going on! it was arrogant and stupid!

Can I find the right people! will I be accepted by them!

Im thinking sensitive intellectual introverts, artistic! educated!

I tried the street people! didn't work!


Back to when I was young! I was going to turn out a real nice sensitive intelligent well educated gent with all kinds of abilities and talents! Im still that person but can't prove it on the outside!

I just saw my credit score; it dropped!

As for women! Im not sure what I'm looking for; Im looking for someone I can trust! and thats hard to find! have I really looked!

The key is to live my life!

One problem with women; I want an old fashion women, but I don't have an old fashion job! Im all messed up in the present!

0--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------0

So, at the meeting! this was interesting! I may have finally sent my message indirectly to the girl I was in love with several years ago!
She would not stop using drugs! so, It was my time to speak again! and this time I opened up on her! I never used her name; but I said that I just want to save people in here and slap them! make them wake up! that they need to get away from people that used drugs! why are they hanging around people that use drugs! Anyway, I told her! she got the message! so, I think Ive said enough! I think! to get the point across! and finally at the end of the meetings, I said, that I share because its personal, I care about someone! So, must have gotten some of the message! and seeing how she took it! I think she got the message!

And during my talk, I said, because I like certain people, and I looked right at her! and this is unusual for me! So, these were great exercises!

And another women in the meetings; She was hanging all over me 2 days ago, now she's hanging on someone else and ignoring me the whole time! Interesting!

After I gave the message to the one girl, the other walked by! the one I talked with a few days ago, she was very arrogant! I said " hey"! she force ably turned and came toward me! I put my fist out for her to hit! she did! but she had this hate of contempt like I was a little man! and she's he one I talked to the other day!

The first girl I dated in there about 6 months ago, was the same way! this pretentious bitch kind of " sex in the city" attitude! Like she was telling me " go away little man" Like Im no match for a real women! and she had contempt! like I was worthless dumb ass! and other women in this place are like this! strange that they would all be like this! now that I wake up I'm seeing it! but none of them have any conscious! so they don't understand! its laughable!

But I got my message out! and I may have see some of my answer!

The other day, the one girl wanted to sleep with me and I did not! I did not make a pass at her! she has a long term boyfriend! She is the one that hit my fist today like we were forced comrades..

Im not sure I understand women! they think Im a wuzz! someone not to take seriously!

I talked allot about my mother! and how she bullied me! and I was scared of her and scared of women because of it!
When your in a group of sociopath women, they think your a weakling when you talk about your mother bulling you! and they think they have one up on you when prior they are charming and they think you really believe they are interested in you! that your falling for them! When in reality they think your a dull headed moron ass! !

What they don't know is the seriousness of which I am there! I am gaining and regaining strength! the strength to handle interactions!

I am a kind a innocent person dealing with people that have no innocence! non of them! and that is the major problem! that is why they get superior on me, and look at me like a fool! they have no feelings! they don't know what its like to love! but Im learning!

And when I interact It triggers when I was a boy with my father! and interaction is the key to remembering the family system that is gone! and thats what this is about! but those goons in the meetings don't know this!

So, Im slowly learning!

----------------------------------------------------------------

Women; Im not sure! Im seeing something strange! they are all 2 faced; the ones Im dealing with ! I mean nothing to them! nothing! They give me compliments but think they have it going on! they have nothing going on! none of them! and they treat me like I have nothing going on; I have everything going on! they know nothing about me! and they never will!

Not at home field advantage yet! also, one of the girls that is a sociopath who dated a sociopath is looking very familiar to the girl I was in love with! Possibly they all three are the same kind of person!
Ive tried to carry a message! and I think it is getting through, but has no value!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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