I don't think I will ever got over this! I don't trust women! but I cant put my finger on whats wrong! my mother was a psychopath! my Grandmother was a strange form of pathological! and many other types in these family systems that created more psychopaths and more sociopaths and more pathological nightmares!
Im not sure what Im looking for! someone subordinate! I don't know; Ive found women that want me to sweep them off their feet! I wont do it! something is wrong! something is not as it appears to be! something is manipulative! its always like this! I don't trust anyone! I don't trust women at all!
I trust nothing about them! seething hate! I guess! I don't know no! Im mad that women are not women anymore! Its more then saying; I don't relate to them! possibly, its economics! I cant keep up with the economic problems of life, or their economics! or their need for economics! I don't know!
I don't know! I attract women! it doesn't do any good! I always feel like Im 2 immature to be with them! they are never really looking for me! their looking for what I can give them! I have to work at going out of my way to please them or something! I don't know!
Im a grown man! men don't take subordinate positions! they cant or wont! I don't feel that most women are part of my society! they are part of their own society or Ive been left out! I guess! or, I don't feel like Im part of my own society! I don't come from any society! Im left out! thats closer! and I don't feel women caring much about it!
Something is wrong! I don't feel that women are women anymore! and Im simply getting older! and Im being left out or left behind!
I work with the laws of the Universe and God; and or the source of God! I can attract women! thats not a problem; but who do I attract! who can I trust! I don't trust anyone! and I cant put my finger on what I trust or don't trust!
Sometimes you feel like a gas attendant filling up someones gas tank, and thats all your worth! your worth no more to them! you have no worth to them! the only thing left is sex! thats not what I was looking for!
I don't hang out with any women! I have no women friends! its strange! I don't want anything to do with them; but I originally want them! I mean, I idea I had of them! but that idea seems the idea of a child!
I feel women walk over the child within me! and don't care; don't feel a thing! this seems odd to me! if a women sees the child in me; why would she want to rip it to pieces! How can she want to ripe the child in me to pieces and still have children and be a person that brings up children! I dont get any of this; unless she hates men to the core!
Many times I feel women want men extinct! and are really trying to succeed at it! Im not interested in these type of people! I just wanted a girlfriend! its not that complex!
Women dont act like women anymore! biologically I dont trust them; i dont trust them at a biological level!
I thought I was suppose to fall in love with someone and have a best friend! something is always wrong! its never about me; its always about them!
When I was younger; I had women at the gym like me! but I never trusted them; I felt like; if they really knew the real me, they would reject me! and this was about economics, not my personality! I felt they never really saw me; the real me; just some fantasy they had! I meant nothing to them; I felt like I was suppose to be this confident guy! I was never anything other then myself!
Being myself is not good enough! maybe it is; but what am I attracting! thats the problem!
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A wall resides between me and women! they are not helping! I do not feel safe! This could be a draw back to the psychopathic scum I had to deal with when younger; they were nothing but murders of children!
I feel like women are murder's of children! I dont feel that they are safe! I dont! I guess! I dont know! I cant put my finger on it!
If I was the real me; what would it be like around women! I would get ran over or trampled! I would be of no value! I might be used by them; but of no value! why would I get involved with them accept for sex! and even sex doesn't seem right!
Im not in control! I have to be in control! I mean; Im a man! I dont know any women! I know them; Im not close to any of them! many of them make me sick! not my fault! its their hatred toward me! its a kind of defilement hatred! they have a deep brooding hatred toward me! a kind of contempt or disgust!
God can bring me the right soulmate! its happened before! but I dont want to chase them away!
I dont feel needed by women! Like it serves no purpose in knowing them! possibly, Im not around the right women!
Its hard because you dont want to go to knew groups of people just to be reject by them! something is horribly wrong! I dont know! Im being hated by women or treated less then what Im worth! and my rule is; I dont associate with people that treat me for less then what Im worth!
I try to get near women; you get this feeling like you going to get your arms ripped of! its all about their self worth being trampled on! like is always women's liberation day!
One of the biggest problems is; I dont expect anymore from women! I dont think they are able to reason! its always some kind of self centered reasoning!
Ive know women that Ive pulled back from; they end up with some sociopathic thug! Instead of humbling herself and asking whats wrong and how she can fit in with a real man; she opps for a sociopath! and this is very bad because she's bringing this around her children; this means, neither of them are safe for children! it makes me fearful for the safety of the children! and I have to sit back and watch this; over n over n over with different people! no values, no conscious!
I feel very left out! However, I know God can and will supply for me! Still, its a horrible landscape!
I had one women tell me she thought I was intelligent; meaning, she felt others didnt really see me; then she asked me if I was ever going to make any money in my life! when I didnt answer her! I never saw her again!