If I want an Asian-soulamte in my life; I have to think about her all the time and write about her all the time until the world around me turns Asian-soulmate. I know how the system works; I just got to keep working it! The hardest part has been self worth or value! One who is used to thinking negative and then surviving; this is not easy! Its not easy to turn to positive and feel safe and secure! and thats a funny thing to say! The problem is trusting myself to follow through! Im to afraid of sabotaging myself of what I want and getting back to a lower safer and less livable life! So, Im struggling to change; Ill get their! persistence is the key!
.
Im used to blaming my mother and father for everything because of what happened ; what they did to me! That does not work here! Blaming someone does not add or change anything! I must pay the price for the change in my thinking! I have to do the work!
.
.
Things are changing! The goal is to feel positive e all the time! " Thank you universe for all the good things in my life I don't know about yet".