Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1052
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1751)
Archives
- March 2024
A gift from God #2
   Sat Mar 16, 2024 9:21 pm
The Gift from God…
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 5:29 pm
2 goals; elements of accomplishment
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 1:41 pm
Work Ethic is Needed Please
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 4:46 am
Some Solutions; Lot of Hope
   Thu Mar 07, 2024 5:39 am

+ February 2024
+ January 2024
+ December 2023
+ November 2023
+ October 2023
+ September 2023
+ August 2023
+ July 2023
+ June 2023
+ May 2023
+ April 2023
+ March 2023
+ February 2023
+ January 2023
+ December 2022
+ November 2022
+ October 2022
+ September 2022
+ August 2022
+ July 2022
+ June 2022
+ May 2022
+ April 2022
+ March 2022
+ February 2022
+ January 2022
+ December 2021
+ November 2021
+ October 2021
+ September 2021
+ August 2021
+ July 2021
+ June 2021
+ May 2021
+ April 2021
+ March 2021
+ February 2021
+ January 2021
+ December 2020
+ November 2020
+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Washing clothing

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Dec 14, 2014 1:56 am

Having nice clothing, taking care of them, washing them, so Im clean when I leave the apartment is the most socially important thing I can do! and it is what Im working on!


interacting with women is slow but going well! Hugs not drugs! I am the one who asked for attention! and Im getting it slowly! I see women, I am genuine when I say hi! they some now call me friend, and come over and hug me! and thats what I want need! some can be exceptionally beautiful, but thats not the point! Im just trying to learn how to interact and have friends again! and it looks like it is happening; happening for real!

When my father died! something magical happened! And it sucks to say that he died! It hits you so hard!
I am in touch with God! and felt a movement in the force! and I know he knows now what happened to me ( my father)! and he is helping me! I know this! and God is helping me!

What my father did, he could not help but do! he proved this out! The events was presented! the problem was, I was all alone! I was out of luck!


now, after having some experience with women! the nest step concerns SSI!

My next step with people; is to get close to them! and when I do, I mention SSI! At some point I want to mention it first, I only want those around me that like me for who I am! not thinking Im a loser! and they do, and will! and some see me this way! and I want them gone, out of my life! I wont know who to kick out of my life until I find who they are!

ITs crazy, Ive had what society considers " good people" hate me or put the hate on me as a drifter and loser! But Im not! in fact they kill people by doing this to them!

Im mad at God, that he would allow so many people in the world to be destroyed! all the children! Its all to much for me! I have to keep praying that I come back; come back around to sanity!

Sanity is described like this;

First, In my fantasies and the past, Im a boy, sitting on a green couch! I feel safe, Im watching TV! in a solid quite house!

As an adult I; after fantasizing about the above sentence, wake up in the gutter with nothing! that is insanity!

Sanity is; having the memories of the past; in this case, the example of sitting on a green couch, waking up into the present, seeing the gutter, I turn get into recovery, find God, start saving, buy a green couch, stick it in my apartment and go sit on it!

Now when I wake up at night, and Im thinking of a green couch, I simply walk into the living room, and sit on it! Im not outside in the gutter!

I use the principles of this story to illustrate a point; that is better to gain sanity then insanity at some point!

This story was personal and meant something to me; Im not sure how it sounds to the outside world!

Dissociative Disorder;

Might look for a club on FB dealing with DD! Not sure!

Dissociative disorder is slowly loosing its grip in reality! Im slowly getting better! My defenses are like a strong defensive French wall of WW1! brutally hard; very hard to knock down, they had to keep me alive for years! And the walls of a small child to protect against adults, is huge! they will take some time to come down, but its happening as I heal!

Healing; Im healing from 0 to 5 years old! I can see it and feel it! I was over ran at those ages, a and massive walls are build up! I was over ran again at age 10, and again later through my early teen years, and later in my early 20s, so Ive been ran over many times as a human!

At age 30 I was mental! I had been mental since a boy! but by the age of 30, I had Dissociative disorder and PTSD problems at 100%! I could not function anymore! Im now slowly in recovery for these things!

I have agoraphobia and AVPD,

Ive had addiction problems and OCD! and other stuff! Clinical depression for 20 years; not now!

My main work is with the walls of the child within from ages 0 to 5! and getting close to others and being myself'!

This means walking up to someone and smiling in there face! relaxing in front of them! I will have to practice this!

Music is a big thing; I will be hiding in my MacBook Pro and my notation software at the coffee shop for many months!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 9842 times

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], EdwardLaure, Google [Bot], Keithpax, Majestic-12 [Bot], WayneSit