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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1028)
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- December 2019
more changes ahead.
   Sun Dec 01, 2019 4:49 pm

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waking up

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Sep 16, 2015 8:42 pm

In many areas; growth is occurring; Im waking up! Waking up from the pain, the resentments, the past, childhood, the parental system that was a failure of pathological dysfunction! Pure evil!

Failed relationships; specifically in the beginning of life; pure evil!

First soulmate failure! Break down! Dysfunction! Saved by the bell! And by the 12 step group system! Yet, I never got to see the person ever again! That destroyed me! And I can never go back! God separated us! If she came back to me; I would be with her! How can I go back to her! Impossible! However, God will bring me another!

I never got to see anyone ever again! And most of this concerns the manipulation of the psychopaths that were running everything!

Psychopaths have no conscious! And no conscious toward children!

I am getting better; waking up!

I have a dissociative condition; vicious condition; long term PTSD based! CPTSD! Vicious! Im an intelligent abstract thinking sensitive artist! I was ravished by PTSD ! And went 100% into dissociative disorder; you could not tell the difference between myself and a schizophrenic in some cases!

Im still at the 12 step system groups! Not easy; not everyone is on your side!~ lots of ego's! But it's getting the job done; it's waking up my dissociative hardened brain!

Now what; I still have much to work through!

I used to go skiing with my father all the time; skiing became much of my life! I looked forward to it! However, he was a sociopath; and it was all fake! Meaning, he had no money! All the trips we took were for his benefit! However, he postured as if it was for our benefit! It was not! He had no conscious! He was a stranger in actuality! He was not a human!

He had no business taking us anywhere! I was used! But did not know it at the time! All those ' good times" as a child, were actually bad! They were bad because their was no real middle class life behind any of it! It was all fake!

Their was no one looking out for me ever! It was all fake! I believed these people were looking out for me! They couldn't care less! It was all fake! They were fake! All of it was fake! Everything!

It would have been better if I had been given up for adaption!

So, I have many personal experiences to work through, to see the truth of; and to let go of!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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