Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1052
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1751)
Archives
- March 2024
A gift from God #2
   Sat Mar 16, 2024 9:21 pm
The Gift from God…
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 5:29 pm
2 goals; elements of accomplishment
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 1:41 pm
Work Ethic is Needed Please
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 4:46 am
Some Solutions; Lot of Hope
   Thu Mar 07, 2024 5:39 am

+ February 2024
+ January 2024
+ December 2023
+ November 2023
+ October 2023
+ September 2023
+ August 2023
+ July 2023
+ June 2023
+ May 2023
+ April 2023
+ March 2023
+ February 2023
+ January 2023
+ December 2022
+ November 2022
+ October 2022
+ September 2022
+ August 2022
+ July 2022
+ June 2022
+ May 2022
+ April 2022
+ March 2022
+ February 2022
+ January 2022
+ December 2021
+ November 2021
+ October 2021
+ September 2021
+ August 2021
+ July 2021
+ June 2021
+ May 2021
+ April 2021
+ March 2021
+ February 2021
+ January 2021
+ December 2020
+ November 2020
+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

waking up

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed May 15, 2013 8:17 pm

I just woke up.. Ive written about 6 blogs, or get started and never finish them. This one might end up in the destruction pile.

Im feeling and seeing the insecurities. I flashback to the past; the me under the other me! Im seeing myself walking or looking around in my house on C street. I felt at home there and safe. And for the most part, my father kept it that way. The only one complaining was my mother because she had to take care of and participate in a family system. She was a very low example of the human race; much like Adult Hitler.

My mind was ruined and destroyed in these places. When my father left, it would all be a bad dream!

I loved my life and my house on C street. They did a good job creating a false family system. The children in the group believed every bit of it. There was no family system. It was a lie from the beginning, As the neighborhood and the false friends were a lie. I was betrayed in all directions.

I have spent the remainder of my life alone. I never wanted it that way. When in full dissociative disorder I could not have friends: thats different. No one wanted to be my friend or get to know me. I meant nothing to everyone and I do not know why. I was thrown away from everything and everyone. I do not understand why. I was a decent person. It seems to have no value in this world. I seem to have no value in the world. I have no value to anyone.

Now, I have value to God!

I continue to fight, to attempt to go in a strait line and get better. I must keep working hard and trusting God with my recovery. Im interested in getting my health back and getting away from the worthless trash Ive had to work with to get better.. Im tired of the undertow people of low life. Im not talking about the nice people. Im talking about those vampires that see me as food-stock: They believe its feeding time when they see me!

Reality:

Reality is: reality with PTSD. That is the reality. Reality is with PTSD. I learn, I adapt with PTSD. The PTSD is not going anywhere.

I had only one parent left as a boy. And that individual choose to destroy me. She was a worthless watered down vs of the human race. Its unfortunate. Its reality. Im sorry I ever was exposed to such an individual. I guess in the end I survive. Lots of people do not survive sociopaths of this nature. Meaning, children.

My goals:

The arts: the creating of art

relationships: friends. Dating/girlfriends.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 20378 times

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Majestic-12 [Bot]